So what do you do? If the guilt is too much, you can tell your boyfriend. It might be the only way to clear your conscience — and hopefully, if you explain the reasons why you did such a boneheaded thing, he'll understand. It will be hard and it may create drama for months to come, but my guess is that you can recover, if he's not a horribly jealous guy.

Men are very susceptible to visual stimulation, particularly as children and teenagers. Seeing anything appealing (say, a person or image) activates pathways in the brain that tell nerves in your lower spinal cord to trigger a release of nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessel walls and floods your penis with blood, making it hard. Nitric oxide is the key chemical here, as you need a mix released from your nerves AND from your blood vessels to get an erection. If the blood vessels, nerves, or both are damaged, it's difficult to get a hard erection. That's why your doctor may well be interested if you're struggling with erections, as it could be a sign of early heart disease or diabetes.
To start with, ED is NOT in your head. You can’t simply will yourself to get an erection, no matter how much you try. Studies show over 80% of ED cases are caused by a treatable physical disorder. Diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol are common causes. Even a perfectly healthy man can develop ED after a brain or spinal cord injury. ED can be a side effect of certain medications, too.  Read more on our Causes of ED page.

The pathogenesis of organic ED is related to dysfunction of the endothelium. Endothelial cells can become injured through a variety of mechanisms, most of which cause oxidative stress on the tissues. Many of these causes of oxidative stress are related to lifestyle issues which lead to hypertension, diabetes and dyslipidaemia (figure 1). Endothelial cell dysfunction results in reduction of endothelium-dependent vasorelaxation as well as increased adhesion of leukocytes to the endothelium. Endothelial cell injury then leads to a variety of sequelae, including ED, other types of vasoconstriction, atherosclerosis and thrombus formation.18
THIS TOOL DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. It is intended for general informational purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on to make decisions about your health. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on the WebMD Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.
It is normal for a man to have five to six erections during sleep, especially during rapid eye movement (REM). Their absence may indicate a problem with nerve function or blood supply in the penis. There are two methods for measuring changes in penile rigidity and circumference during nocturnal erection: snap gauge and strain gauge. A significant proportion of men who have no sexual dysfunction nonetheless do not have regular nocturnal erections.
Another study compared the response of surgically and medically castrated rabbits to vardenafil with that of control rabbits. [22] Castrated rabbits did not respond to vardenafil, whereas noncastrated rabbits did respond appropriately. This result suggests that a minimum amount of testosterone is necessary for PDE5 inhibitors to produce an erection.
This point is important – the anticipatory anxiety.  Sports men and women regularly use “mental rehearsal” to help them prepare for a match.  They imagine the shots, the game and perform according to plan when the event arises.  Research has show that musicians mentally practicing their instrument in their mind, use the same brain processes as when playing for real.
It is essential to discuss erectile dysfunction with your doctor, so any serious underlying causes can be excluded and treatment options can be discussed. Many men are embarrassed discussing this issue with their doctor, or even their partner. Open communication with your doctor, and in your relationship, is important for effectively managing this common problem.

There are treatments available to help you to get and maintain an erection. In addition, making healthy changes to your lifestyle could help with impotence. Switching to a healthier balanced diet, taking more exercise and cutting down on or giving up alcohol and cigarettes could help you to see an improvement in sexual function. If you think that the problem may be related to stress or anxiety, counselling can also help.
Organic impotence refers to the inability to obtain an erection firm enough for vaginal penetration, or the inability to sustain the erection until completion of intercourse. In contrast to psychogenic impotence, which is impotence caused by anxiety, guilt, depression, or conflict around various sexual issues, organic impotence, the more common of the two categories of erectile dysfunction, is caused by physical problems. Ten to 20% of middle-aged men and a much higher percentage of elderly men are impotent. Aside from its importance as a common and distressing sexual problem, organic impotence may herald important medical problems.
Erectile dysfunction may be an unpleasant condition that no one really wants to talk about, failing to acknowledge it won’t make the problem go away. Your best defense against health problems like this is to learn everything you can about it so you can tackle the problem at the root. If you’re ready to stop living in embarrassment about your sexual function, become an advocate for yourself and your own health and talk to your doctor.

The availability of phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE5) inhibitors—sildenafil, vardenafil, tadalafil, and avanafil—has fundamentally altered the medical management of ED. In addition, direct-to-consumer marketing of these agents over the last 15 years has increased the general public’s awareness of ED as a medical condition with underlying causes and effective treatments.


A number of herbs have been promoted for treating impotence. The most widely touted herbs for this purpose are Coryanthe yohimbe (available by prescription as yohimbine, with the trade name Yocon) and gingko (Gingko biloba), although neither has been conclusively shown to help the condition in controlled studies. In addition, gingko carries some risk of abnormal blood clotting and should be avoided by men taking blood thinners such as coumadin. Other herbs promoted for treating impotence include true unicorn root (Aletrius farinosa), saw palmetto (Serenoa repens), ginseng (Panax ginseng), and Siberian ginseng (Eleuthrococcus senticosus). Strychnos Nux vomica has been recommended, especially when impotence is caused by excessive alcohol, cigarettes, or dietary indiscretions, but it can be very toxic if taken improperly, so it should be used only under the strict supervision of a physician trained in its use.

Estimates of the prevalence of impotence depend on the definition employed for this condition. For the purposes of this consensus development conference statement, impotence is defined as male erectile dysfunction, that is, the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual performance. Erectile performance has been characterized by the degree of dysfunction, and estimates of prevalence (the number of men with the condition) vary depending on the definition of erectile dysfunction used.
The patient and partner must be well informed about all therapeutic options including their effectiveness, possible complications, and costs. As a general rule, the least invasive or dangerous procedures should be tried first. Psychotherapy and behavioral treatments and sexual counseling alone or in conjunction with other treatments may be used in all patients with erectile dysfunction who are willing to use this form of treatment. In patients in whom psychogenic erectile dysfunction is suspected, sexual counseling should be offered first. Invasive therapy should not be the primary treatment of choice. If history, physical, and screening endocrine evaluations are normal and nonpsychogenic erectile dysfunction is suspected, either vacuum devices or intracavernosal injection therapy can be offered after discussion with the patient and his partner. These latter two therapies may also be useful when combined with psychotherapy in those with psychogenic erectile dysfunction in whom psychotherapy alone has failed. Since further diagnostic testing does not reliably establish specific diagnoses or predict outcomes of therapy, vacuum devices or intracavernosal injections often are applied to a broad spectrum of etiologies of male erectile dysfunction.
Fact is, almost all men experience erection problems from time to time. Sometimes it's a temporary condition that will go away with just power of mind or little treatment. But unfortunately in many cases it may be an ongoing problem. Whatever it is, if you don't want to eventually destroy your self esteem and harm relationship with your lover, immediate treatment is required.

You’ve probably heard of Viagra, but it’s not the only pill for ED. This class of drugs also includes Cialis, Levitra,  Staxyn, and Stendra. All work by improving blood flow to the penis during arousal. They're generally taken 30-60 minutes before sexual activity and should not be used more than once a day. Cialis can be taken up to 36 hours before sexual activity and also comes in a lower, daily dose. Staxyn dissolves in the mouth. All require an OK from your doctor first for safety.
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