Me and my boyfriend have been together almost two years, and he has only said "I love you" about a dozen times. I know he loves me by his actions but I would still like to hear the words. I have tried talking to him about it but he also isn't one for talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable. Sometimes this really makes me insecure, especially since I tell him daily I love him. Other times I feel like I am just being silly and that actions speak louder than words. What should I do?

An approach to the diagnosis and management of the impotent patient is presented in Figure 187.1. Apparent and likely causes of impotence should be considered first and, if possible, eliminated before the work-up continues. For instance, observing the patient for a few weeks off offending medication may be all that is necessary to establish the cause of impotence. When no obvious or remediable cause is present, the next step is based on the clinical impression of the likelihood of organic versus psychologic impotence. If the latter is considered more likely, it is perfectly reasonable to refer the patient directly for sexual therapy, with the option of reconsidering the diagnosis if, after appropriate therapy, there is no improvement. While an occasional patient with organic impotence will be misrouted, many more with psychogenic impotence will be spared an unnecessary and costly evaluation for organic causes. When organic impotence is likely, a serum testosterone level is the initial screening test for hypogonadism and should be obtained prior to urologic referral. Patients with low testosterone levels require further endocrine evaluations as depicted in Figure 187.1.

Impotence, also called erectile dysfunction, in general, the inability of a man to achieve or maintain penile erection and hence the inability to participate fully in sexual intercourse. In its broadest sense the term impotence refers to the inability to become sexually aroused; in this sense it can apply to women as well as to men. In common practice, however, the term has traditionally been used to describe only male sexual dysfunctions. Professional sex therapists, while they identify two distinct dysfunctions as forms of impotence, prefer not to use the term impotence per se. Thus, because of its pejorative connotation in lay usage and because of confusion about its definition, the word impotence has been eliminated from the technical vocabulary in favour of the term “erectile dysfunction.”
A device involving a plastic cylinder and pump is used to make blood rush to your penis, enlarging it in a similar way to an instant erection. When you remove the pump, the erection is sustained by slipping a tension ring around the base of the penis. Sounds awful. I don't think you will tell your partner to "please hold on for 20 minutes, I need to put my vacuum pump on to get erect" or "how to get an erection without that magic pump?"
Jenna finds working with and helping people on a daily basis combines her two greatest passions - health care and helping others to make a difference in their lives. Prior to Lemonaid, she was a Certified Nursing Assistant caring for senior citizens, had advocated and provided resources for the mentally ill, and also had customer service experience in the field of behavioral health. Jenna graduated from the University of Arizona with a degree in Psychology.
Erectile dysfunction can be effectively treated with a variety of methods. Many patients and health care providers are unaware of these treatments, and the dysfunction thus often remains untreated, compounded by its psychological impact. Concurrent with the increase in the availability of effective treatment methods has been increased availability of new diagnostic procedures that may help in the selection of an effective, cause-specific treatment. This conference was designed to explore these issues and to define the state of the art.
Occasional successful sexual function and early morning erections do not preclude the possibility of endocrine dysfunction. Since abnormally low levels of testosterone frequently are the primary cause of impotence, it is recommended that determination of the blood level of testosterone be an integral part of the total evaluation of the impotent patient.
3. An intact, anatomically correct penis; 25% of impotence may be psychologic or 'partner-specific', 25% has an organic component and 50% of impotence is organic in nature; in organic impotence, nocturnal penile tumescence is absent Management-surgical Microvascular surgery to bypass occluded vessels–most effective in younger ♂, penile prosthesis Management-medical Combined therapy with phentolamine and papaverine–self-injected by the Pt, wielding an erection of 1 hr's duration is useful for arterial, neurologic, psychogenic impotence; other therapies–zinc, bromocriptine–Parlodel, isoxsuprine-Vasodilan, Voxsuprine, nitroglycerine, yohimbine–Yocon, Yohimex Etiology Smoking, CAD, HTN, DM, medications–hypoglycemic agents, vasodilators, cardiac drugs, antihypertensives, anger and depression; it is inversely correlated to dehydroepiandrosterone, HDL-C, and an index of dominant personality Primary impotence Complete absence of successful sexual coupling Secondary impotence Priapism, penile plaques, Peyronie's disease; drugs linked to impotence: antihypertensives–eg, methyldopa, guanethidine, reserpine, clonidine, due to ↓ BP, antidepressants–eg, phenelzine, isocarboxazide, amitriptyline–causing altered moods and decreased libido, tranquilizers–eg, chlordiazepoxide and lorazepam, and the muscle-relaxing diazepam, cimetidine, which ↑ prolactin, and is associated with impotence and loss of libido. Cf Infertility, Orgasmic dysfunction.
With sex therapy, your counselor looks at the sexual problems you and your partner are having. Sex therapy works with problems such as performance anxiety, which means that you worry so much about whether you will be able to have sex that you are not able to. It also helps when you have erection problems that are not due to physical or drug problems, or premature ejaculation (you come too quickly). It may help you to reach orgasm or to learn to relax enough to avoid pain during sex. Counseling can help you to adjust to the treatment you and your doctor choose.

Psychotherapy, marital counseling, or sex therapy may be helpful in treating cases of impotence that have psychological or emotional causes. A range of other treatments exists for cases of impotence that arise from purely physiological causes. These treatments include vacuum devices, penile injections, and penile implants. These mechanical or physically invasive approaches have largely been superseded, however, by the drug sildenafil citrate (trade name Viagra), which is taken in pill form. This drug works by enhancing the effects of nitric oxide, a chemical that, upon sexual stimulation, is normally released to widen the blood vessels supplying the penis. The increased flow of blood through those vessels into certain tissues in the penis causes an erection. See also sexual dysfunction.

In men of all ages, erectile failure may diminish willingness to initiate sexual relationships because of fear of inadequate sexual performance or rejection. Because males, especially older males, are particularly sensitive to the social support of intimate relationships, withdrawal from these relationships because of such fears may have a negative effect on their overall health.


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Impotence is a common problem among men and is characterized by the consistent inability to sustain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse or the inability to achieve ejaculation, or both. Erectile dysfunction can vary. It can involve a total inability to achieve an erection or ejaculation, an inconsistent ability to do so, or a tendency to sustain only very brief erections.
Certain types of blood pressure medications, antiulcer drugs, antihistamines, tranquilizers (especially before intercourse), antifungals (hetoconazole), antipsychotics, antianxiety drugs, and antidepressants, known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs, including Prozac and Paxil), can interfere with erectile function. Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and illicit drug use may also contribute. In rare cases, low levels of the male hormone testosterone may contribute to erectile failure. Finally, psychological factors, such as stress, guilt, or anxiety, may also play a role, even when the impotence is primarily due to organic causes.
Radical prostatectomy for the treatment of prostate cancer poses a significant risk of ED. A number of factors are associated with the chance of preserving erectile function. If both nerves that course on the lateral edges of the prostate can be saved, the chance of maintaining erectile function is reasonable. The odds depend on the age of the patient. Men younger than 60 years have a 75-80% chance of preserving potency, but men older than 70 years have only a 10-15% chance.
A meta-analysis of 36 744 men with ED in 12 prospective cohort studies found that the presence of ED significantly increased the risk of CVD, CAD, stroke and all-cause mortality, and the presence of ED was an independent risk factor for CVD. Ponholzer et al found that men with moderate to severe ED had a 65% increased relative risk for developing symptomatic CAD compared with men who did not have ED.26

Medical conditions, such as hypertension, diabetes mellitus, and cardiovascular disease (CVD), and psychological conditions, such as depression and anxiety, also contribute to sexual dysfunction in middle-aged or elderly men. CVD and hypertension cause a narrowing and hardening of the arteries, leading to reduced blood flow to the corporal bodies, which is essential for achieving an erection. Diabetes is a common aetiology of sexual dysfunction, because it can affect both the blood vessels and the nerves that supply the penis. Men with diabetes are four times more likely to experience ED, and on average, experience ED 15 years earlier than men without diabetes.7 Obesity is also correlated to the development of several types of dysfunction, including a decrease in sex drive and an increase in episodes of ED.8
Injection of vasodilator substances into the corpora of the penis has provided a new therapeutic technique for a variety of causes of erectile dysfunction. The most effective and well-studied agents are papaverine, phentolamine, and prostaglandin E[sub 1]. These have been used either singly or in combination. Use of these agents occasionally causes priapism (inappropriately persistent erections). This appears to have been seen most commonly with papaverine. Priapism is treated with adrenergic agents, which can cause life-threatening hypertension in patients receiving monoamine oxidase inhibitors. Use of the penile vasodilators also can be problematic in patients who cannot tolerate transient hypotension, those with severe psychiatric disease, those with poor manual dexterity, those with poor vision, and those receiving anticoagulant therapy. Liver function tests should be obtained in those being treated with papaverine alone. Prostaglandin E[sub 1] can be used together with papaverine and phentolamine to decrease the incidence of side effects such as pain, penile corporal fibrosis, fibrotic nodules, hypotension, and priapism. Further study of the efficacy of multitherapy versus monotherapy and of the relative complications and safety of each approach is indicated. Although these agents have not received FDA approval for this indication, they are in widespread clinical use. Patients treated with these agents should give full informed consent. There is a high rate of patient dropout, often early in the treatment. Whether this is related to side effects, lack of spontaneity in sexual relations, or general loss of interest is unclear. Patient education and followup support might improve compliance and lessen the dropout rate. However, the reasons for the high dropout rate need to be determined and quantified.

#3 You’re not having enough sex. The more sex you’re having, the less likely you are to suffer from erectile issues. The American Journal of Medicine reports that men who had sex once *or more* a week were less likely to have issues getting and maintaining an erection. So, not having sex is actually one of the reasons you can’t get hard. [Read: 13 ways to have better sex and change the way you make love]
The association of CVD and ED was noted in 1997 as one analysed the results of the MMAS. In this landmark study, 1709 men aged 40–70 years were enrolled between 1987 and 1989. A follow-up some 10 years later revealed a striking relationship between ED and CVD. In this study, it became clear that the risk factors for ED were very similar to those of CVD, such as diabetes mellitus, smoking and dyslipidaemia.18
The severity of ED has been correlated with the extent of CVD. Banks et al reported that the risk of future CV events increased progressively according to ED severity.28 This was shown in both men with and without known CVD at baseline and after controlling for confounders. Solomon and colleagues found an inverse correlation between international index of erectile function (IIEF) scores and plaque burden seen on coronary angiography.29 In addition, Yaman et al demonstrated a significant correlation between ED severity on IIEF questionnaires and coronary artery calcification.30
The drugs work best in combination with sex therapy. Several studies have shown this. There’s more to satisfying sex than just an erection. The quality of the relationship is crucial, especially if sex has been a sore point or if the couple hasn’t had much for a while. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
It can also help to tell your partner (either before you start or when it happens) that hey, sometimes it takes your penis a while to warm up or sometimes it comes and goes as it pleases — and that they shouldn't take it personally and you won't let it ruin the moment. When it happens, take a few deep breaths, focus on your partner, and go back to doing whatever was feeling good before. "If they approach that with authentic confidence, the partner is usually like 'OK, cool,'" says Skyler. "Remember, you're more than just your penis."
The key to this line is to act chill. An occasional soft dick ain’t no thang. But if you get angry, throw off the sheets, and stomp around the apartment while your partner sits in bed watching a grown man throw a temper tantrum, it becomes a thang. Throw out an apology to cover your bases, and then let it go. Once again for the guys in the back: Women understand about not always being able to get wet. And we really understand about not being able to get off every time. One in three women has trouble reaching orgasm during sex. I get that it’s not the exact same thing, but we’re empathetic. A good rule of thumb for almost all insecurities is the less of a big deal you make about something, the less others will.
A device involving a plastic cylinder and pump is used to make blood rush to your penis, enlarging it in a similar way to an instant erection. When you remove the pump, the erection is sustained by slipping a tension ring around the base of the penis. Sounds awful. I don't think you will tell your partner to "please hold on for 20 minutes, I need to put my vacuum pump on to get erect" or "how to get an erection without that magic pump?"
early 15c., "physical weakness," also "poverty," from Middle French impotence "weakness," from Latin impotentia "lack of control or power," from impotentem (nominative impotens); see impotent. In reference to a want of (male) sexual potency, from c.1500. The figurative senses of the word in Latin were "violence, fury, unbridled passion." Related: Impotency.

JP graduated from University of California, Davis with a degree in Human Development. Prior to Lemonaid, JP worked in worker’s compensation case management, ensuring patients avoided permanent disability and adhered to medication guidelines to prevent medication overdose. She also spent time volunteering at pediatric occupational therapy clinics helping differently-abled children. She has a strong interest in mental health advocacy and believes that no matter the circumstance, everyone deserves the best quality of life possible. She joined the Lemonaid mission because she strongly supports the idea that healthcare should be both affordable and easily accessible to everyone. Outside of work, she enjoys DIY projects, anything crafty, live music and spending time with her dogs!
Your boyfriend is having a pretty normal problem but because guys are so insecure, they almost never talk about it. That silence often makes guys, especially young guys, panicky — like they’re the only ones in the world dealing with this problem. That freaks them out even more, and that anxiety feeds on itself in a fairly classic and unfortunately common pattern: When a guy has trouble getting it up, he gets so down that the impotence gets worse before it gets better. Anxiety-driven impotence can be a vicious cycle: Quite unlike his dick, the problem just grows and grows.
In a randomized double-blind, parallel, placebo-controlled trial, sildenafil plus testosterone was not superior to sildenafil plus placebo in improving erectile function in men with ED and low testosterone levels. [19] The objective of the study was to determine whether the addition of testosterone to sildenafil therapy improves erectile response in men with ED and low testosterone levels.
There are, as you listen to all of the advertisements, if your erection lasts for more than four hours, there are very, very unusual cases where that can happen. There are very rare cases of visual problems. There are even rarer cases of hearing problems. But with every medication, there always a potential downside. But the absolute contraindication is an unstable medical condition, an unstable cardiovascular condition, being on nitrates.
There are many effective treatments for impotence. The most popular is a class of drugs called phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitors. These include sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), tadalafil (Cialis) and avanafil (STENDRA). These drugs are taken in pill form. They work in most men. But they are less effective in men with neurological causes of impotence.
Examination of the vascular system is particularly relevant to the evaluation of the impotent patient. Absence of pulses in the feet and presence of femoral bruits suggest atherosclerosis. However, normal femoral and pedal pulses do not exclude selective obstruction to penile blood flow. Direct palpation of the dorsal artery of the penis may be informative if pulsation is absent. The presence of a pulse, however, does not rule out vascular disease, particularly in a patient who is able to achieve normal erections at rest, but unable to maintain them during thrusting. At the same time that the penile pulses are palpated, the examiner should feel for plaques in the corpora cavernosa which would indicate Peyronie's disease.
A vacuum erection device helps draw blood into the penis by applying negative pressure. This type of device is sometimes referred to as penis pump and may be used just prior to sexual intercourse. Several types of FDA approved vacuum therapy devices are available with a doctor's prescription. When pharmacological methods fail, a purpose-designed external vacuum pump can be used to attain erection, with a separate compression ring fitted to the penis to maintain it. These pumps should be distinguished from other penis pumps (supplied without compression rings) which, rather than being used for temporary treatment of impotence, are claimed to increase penis length if used frequently, or vibrate as an aid to masturbation. More drastically, inflatable or rigid penile implants may be fitted surgically.

Factors that mediate contraction in the penis include noradrenaline, endothelin-1, neuropeptide Y, prostanoids, angiotensin II, and others not yet identified. Factors that mediate relaxation include acetylcholine, nitric oxide (NO), vasoactive intestinal polypeptide, pituitary adenylyl cyclase–activating peptide, calcitonin gene–related peptide, adrenomedullin, adenosine triphosphate, and adenosine prostanoids.
Diabetes mellitus: Erectile dysfunction tends to develop 10 to 15 years earlier in diabetic men than among nondiabetic men. The increased risk of erectile dysfunction among men with diabetes mellitus may be due to the earlier onset and greater severity of atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) that narrows the arteries and thereby reduces the delivery of blood to the penis. Atherosclerosis can affect the arteries in the penis, as well as the arteries in the pelvis that supply the penile arteries. Diabetes mellitus also causes erectile dysfunction by damaging nerves that go to the penis, much like the effect of diabetes on nerves in other areas of the body (diabetic neuropathy). Diabetes can also affect the muscles in the penis, leading to troubles with erections. Smoking cigarettes, obesity, poor control of blood glucose levels, and having diabetes mellitus for a long time further increase the risk of erectile dysfunction in people with diabetes.

You’ve probably heard of Viagra, but it’s not the only pill for ED. This class of drugs also includes Cialis, Levitra,  Staxyn, and Stendra. All work by improving blood flow to the penis during arousal. They're generally taken 30-60 minutes before sexual activity and should not be used more than once a day. Cialis can be taken up to 36 hours before sexual activity and also comes in a lower, daily dose. Staxyn dissolves in the mouth. All require an OK from your doctor first for safety.
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