For the past few months I’ve been dating a lovely man but our relationship is at risk because he can’t get it up. He says he fancies me and always seems turned on. Sometimes he gets hard - but when we try for sex he loses his erection. On the few occasions he has got hard, he doesn’t orgasm. I’ve always been a very sexual person and would like a lot of sex. We’re hardly having any. I find it difficult to orgasm even if he tries other things because I keep thinking. Why can’t he have proper sex with me?
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is commonly called impotence. It’s a condition in which a man can’t achieve or maintain an erection during sexual performance. Symptoms may also include reduced sexual desire or libido. Your doctor is likely to diagnose you with ED if the condition lasts for more than a few weeks or months. ED affects as many as 30 million men in the United States.
Only a small proportion of cases of erectile dysfunction are caused by hormone abnormalities. The most frequent hormone abnormality is a reduced level of the male sex hormone testosterone required to get an erection which can be restored by appropriate hormone replacement. It's unwise to take testosterone preparations unless you've had tests that confirm a deficiency.
Stop trying to force the erection - it’s not possible to give yourself an erection just by trying hard enough, if it were then you wouldn’t be reading this. An erection is known as an ‘unconscious response’, meaning you can’t control it by thinking about it. In fact focusing on your erection too much is more likely to block it, so try instead to focus something else, such as:
Men with physical causes of ED have options, including such medicines as sildenafil (Viagra®), vardenafil (Levitra®), or tadalafil (Cialis®). Men who use nitroglycerin products and those who should avoid sexual activity because of cardiovascular disease shouldn’t take these drugs. Other treatment modalities include use of a vacuum pump or injection of a substance (papaverine) into the penis to increase blood flow to the penis. Men can also have surgery to put a prosthesis into the penis.
Frankly, I sympathize with you: He’s got a bad credit history (and likely a history of making similarly poor financial decisions) and you are anxious to pay this debt back before anything else, to the extent that you’re “basically” spending your whole paycheck on debt. Should he be paying more right now? Maybe he should pay more — but, then again, maybe it’s not all or nothing: Maybe you could compromise.

Studies to further define vasculogenic disorders include pharmacologic duplex grey scale/color ultrasonography, pharmacologic dynamic infusion cavernosometry/ cavernosography, and pharmacologic pelvic/penile angiography. Cavernosometry, duplex ultrasonography, and angiography performed either alone or in conjunction with intracavernous pharmacologic injection of vasodilator agents rely on complete arterial and cavernosal smooth muscle relaxation to evaluate arterial and veno-occlusive function. The clinical effectiveness of these invasive studies is severely limited by several factors, including the lack of normative data, operator dependence, variable interpretation of results, and poor predictability of therapeutic outcomes of arterial and venous surgery. At the present time these studies might best be done in referral centers with specific expertise and interest in investigation of the vascular aspects of erectile dysfunction. Further clinical research is necessary to standardize methodology and interpretation, to obtain control data on normals (as stratified according to age), and to define what constitutes normality in order to assess the value of these tests in their diagnostic accuracy and in their ability to predict treatment outcome in men with erectile dysfunction.


The rumors are true. Having too much to drink can interfere with a man’s ability to have an erection. According to Everyday Health, alcohol is a depressant. This means that, along with dampening your ability to think, speak, and move efficiently, it can also dampen mood, decrease sexual desire, and make it difficult for a man to achieve erection or reach an orgasm. This is because alcohol decreases blood flow to the penis. That not only may reduce a man’s ability to have an erection, but even if he is lucky enough to get it hard, alcohol can reduce the intensity of his orgasm.
The drugs are worth trying, but don’t expect miracles. Everyone has heard of Viagra, but Cialis is actually more popular because it’s effective longer—24 to 36 hours instead of three to five. Erection drugs improve erections in around two-thirds of men. They don’t work for about one-third. When they work, they do not produce porn-star erections. Over time, many men need larger doses. But as dosage increases, side effects become more likely, notably, headache and nasal congestion. Finally, the drugs have no effect on arousal, so men may raise erections but don't feel particularly interested in sex. Many men feel disappointed with the drugs. Fewer than half refill their prescriptions.
Endocrine problems, though uncommon, should be considered in patients presenting with impotence. As a rule, impotence due to hypogonadism will be partial and accompanied by decreased libido. Hypothalmic–pituitary problems, which include tumors, are the most common endocrine disorders causing impotence, followed by primary gonadal failure from one of many causes. Poorly controlled diabetes with polyuria and polydypsia is an important reversible cause of impotence, as is hyperthyroidism. Certain drugs, alcohol included, can lead to impotence as a result of endocrine disturbances.
Most older men suffer not ED but erection dissatisfaction. Starting around age 50 (often earlier among smokers and/or diabetics), erections change. In some men, the process is gradual, in others, it happens more quickly. Either way, older men lose the ability to raise erections solely from sexual fantasies. Direct fondling of the penis becomes necessary. When erections appear, they rise more slowly and do not become as firm as they were during men’s thirties and forties. And minor distractions may cause wilting—the doorbell or an ambulance siren. These changes alarm many men, who jump to the conclusion that they must have ED. If you can still raise erection durings masturbation, you don’t. What you have is erection dissatisfaction.
Prostate cancer isn’t considered a cause of ED on its own, but radiation treatments, hormone therapy, and surgery to remove the entire prostate gland can lead to difficulty in getting or keeping an erection. Sometimes erectile dysfunction related to prostate cancer treatment is only temporary, but many guys experience ongoing difficulties that need to be addressed by other means.
Men, if you can't get an erection and are in a relationship with someone you deeply care about... Please.. Bring on the toys.. bring on the hands.... bring on the tounge.. do SOMETHING... Don't use that as an excuse not to erouse the woman you love. If shes not getting satisfied from you, she will find it somewhere else OR... she will be sad stuck in a relationship STARVING for sex and have pity on you. You can do so much without an erection. That's not the end all be all in orgasms for women. Trust me... You need to over compensate for problem. You can actually appear MORE manly by stepping up and making sure woman is satisfied. Don't let your bed be a graveyard.!!! I am pretty sure you can still have an orgasm without an erection.. if you have the right woman,... pleasure her. Do what it takes to help her orgasm... and then it's your turn. She will make sure you are pleased regardless if you are fully erected or squishy... Don't fret over this.. Seriously...!!! Don't feel like your manhood is any less... Rise up and serve and she will make you happy. Trust me!!
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If you are taking medications (alpha-blockers) for problems with an enlarged prostate, you should discuss your prostate medications with your doctor. Alpha-blockers also can cause lowering of the blood pressure. Thus your doctor will need to carefully watch your blood pressure when you start the PDE5 inhibitor. Common alpha-blockers include doxazosin (Cardura), terazosin (Hytrin), and tamsulosin (Flomax).
So not only are erectile problems common, they're nothing for you or your special friend to be freaked out about. Check out the nine most common reasons that dudes sometimes can't get it up, and get ready to become the soothing voice of reason the next time the guy you're with has a hard time pitching his tent in your happy valley. Everything (and every penis) is gonna be fine!
Chlamydia and erectile dysfunction: What's the link? Some people who have chlamydia also experience erectile dysfunction (ED), which involves problems getting or maintaining an erection. Chlamydia can infect the prostate gland, leading to prostatitis, pain, and ED. In this article, learn more about the link between this common infection and ED, and treatments for both. Read now
The nerves and endothelium of sinusoids and vessels in the penis produce and release transmitters and modulators that control the contractile state of corporal smooth muscles. Although the membrane receptors play an important role, downstream signaling pathways are also important. The RhoA–Rho kinase pathway is involved in the regulation of cavernosal smooth muscle contraction. [12]
Anxiety is particularly pernicious. It triggers the fight-or-flight reflex that sends blood away from the central body, including the penis, and out to the limbs for self-defense or escape. Less blood in the central body means less blood available for erection. Erection dissatisfaction is upsetting, but try to accept it. It’s normal. And when men become anxious about it, erections become less likely.
The prostaglandin E1 is contained in a small suppository located at the tip of an applicator. You should urinate first as this lubricates the urethra and makes it easier to insert the applicator into the tip of the urethra (urethral meatus, the opening at the tip of the penis that urine passes through). A patient can release the suppository into urethra by gently wiggling the applicator and pressing the button at the end. Rubbing the penis allows the suppository to dissolve, and the prostaglandin is absorbed through the tissue of the urethra into the penis. It takes 15 to 30 minutes for this occur. Once into the penis, the prostaglandin causes increased blood flow into the penis. The prostaglandin can be present in the ejaculate, and thus doctors recommend that men use a condom when having intercourse with a pregnant partner. Men may need to use a condom if vaginal irritation occurs in female partner.
A common and important cause of ED is vasculogenic. Many men with ED have comorbid conditions such as hyperlipidemia, hypercholesterolemia, tobacco abuse, diabetes mellitus, or coronary artery disease (CAD). [6] The Princeton III Consensus recommends screening men who present with ED for cardiovascular risk factors; ED may be the earliest presentation of atherosclerosis and vascular disease. [7]
Cavernosography measurement of the vascular pressure in the corpus cavernosum. Saline is infused under pressure into the corpus cavernosum with a butterfly needle, and the flow rate needed to maintain an erection indicates the degree of venous leakage. The leaking veins responsible may be visualized by infusing a mixture of saline and x-ray contrast medium and performing a cavernosogram.[20] In Digital Subtraction Angiography (DSA), the images are acquired digitally.
Since you’re the talker, this is an argument that you’re going to have to win. Really let him know that you feel insecure and unloved when he doesn’t say “I love you.” Tell him it makes you worry about how he really feels when he doesn’t say anything. Tell him that it hurts you that he won’t step the slightest bit out of his comfort zone to say three words that would make you feel so much better. Let him know this doesn’t mean he has to suddenly get all lovey-dovey and give you a cheesy nickname and lay on the sugar so sweet your teeth rot, you adorable little honeybee — because then you might both puke. (I just threw up a little in my mouth myself while typing that.) But that’s not what you’re asking. Let him know you just want an “I love you” now and then. That’s not unreasonable. He doesn’t have to go overboard and you may not get the constant affirmation you prefer — but you can both compromise.
Conditions associated with reduced nerve and endothelium function (eg, aging, hypertension, smoking, hypercholesterolemia, and diabetes) alter the balance between contraction and relaxation factors (see Pathophysiology). These conditions cause circulatory and structural changes in penile tissues, resulting in arterial insufficiency and defective smooth muscle relaxation. In some patients, sexual dysfunction may be the presenting symptom of these disorders.
#7 You’re way too distracted. It’s not exactly sexy to try and screw while your newborn/parents/relatives/friends are perched in the next room. If you’re distracted by a loud TV, knocks at the door, or your phone going off while you’re trying to go down on your partner, it’s going to make it an aggravating sexual experience. Not exactly ideal grounds for getting an erection.
You're not hard. You're about to have sex for the first time with your date, who's truly beautiful. All you want to do is present your glorious, super strong erection and let it do the talking. And yet when you look down, you're limp instead of hard. This doesn't make any sense! you think. Every element you could possibly need for an erection is here. Nudity, beauty, passion, the tantalizing thrill of boning someone for the first time, and a little bit of booze to take the edge off. What on earth is wrong and why are you so unlucky? You turn to your date. "I swear, this never happens..."
The causes of erectile dysfunction include aging, high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, cigarette smoking, atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries), depression, nerve or spinal cord damage, medication side effects, alcoholism or other substance (drug) abuse, pelvic surgery including radical prostatectomy, pelvic radiation, penile/perineal/pelvic trauma such as pelvic fracture, Peyronie's disease (a disorder that causes curvature of the penis and sometimes painful erections), and low testosterone levels.
The primary nerve fibers to the penis are from the dorsal nerve of the penis, a branch of the pudendal nerve. The cavernosal nerves are a part of the autonomic nervous system and incorporate both sympathetic and parasympathetic fibers. They travel posterolaterally along the prostate and enter the corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum to regulate blood flow during erection and detumescence. The dorsal somatic nerves are also branches of the pudendal nerves. They are primarily responsible for penile sensation. [10]
In comparison, 37% of men who had received external radiotherapy as their primary therapy reported the ability to attain functional erections suitable for intercourse, along with 43% of men who had received brachytherapy as primary treatment. Pretreatment sexual health-related quality of life score, age, serum prostate-specific antigen (PSA) level, race or ethnicity, body mass index, and intended treatment details were associated with functional erections 2 years after treatment. [45]
Erectile dysfunction may be an unpleasant condition that no one really wants to talk about, failing to acknowledge it won’t make the problem go away. Your best defense against health problems like this is to learn everything you can about it so you can tackle the problem at the root. If you’re ready to stop living in embarrassment about your sexual function, become an advocate for yourself and your own health and talk to your doctor.
Inside the cell, NOS catalyzes the oxidation of L-arginine to NO and L-citrulline. Endogenous blockers of this pathway have been identified. The gaseous NO that is produced acts as a neurotransmitter or paracrine messenger. Its biologic half-life is only 5 seconds. NO may act within the cell or diffuse and interact with nearby target cells. In the corpora cavernosa, NO activates guanylate cyclase, which in turn increases cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP). Relaxation of vascular smooth muscles by cGMP leads to vasodilation and increased blood flow.

He can follow the common general physical advice: Sleep well, eat well, exercise, and moderate or abstain from drinking and drugs. He can also visit the doctor to see if there’s any medical reason for his condition (anything from heart disease to diabetes and obesity). Sometimes, impotence is a side effect of prescription drugs. If his anxiety is extreme, it never hurts to see a professional therapist. Whenever there’s even a chance of a medical problem, my advice is always: Why not check with a professional?


Having learned a great deal more about erectile dysfunction including its risk factors and causes, you should be equipped to assess your own erectile function. If you have experienced erectile issues or you have some of the risk factors mentioned above, it may be worth making a trip to your doctor’s office. If you choose to seek help, give your doctor as much information as you can about your symptoms including their frequency and severity as well as the onset. With your doctor’s help, you can determine the best course of treatment to restore sexual function.
In the meantime, make sure he gets some rest and takes it easy. The more you two stress about it — and the more pressure he feels you are putting on him — the harder it will get for him to get hard, in all likelihood. So take a few days off. Relax, be patient, and help him find him some help if he needs it. In the meantime, here's a Cosmopolitan.com guide about exactly this topic from sex therapist Dr. Jane Greer.
#4 You’re just plain turned off. It happens. Whether it’s the weight your partner has put on, the realization that you’re having period sex, or you’re just not getting what you need in the bedroom, at some point in your life, you’re going to be turned off enough to lose *or be unable to attain* your hard-on. [Read: Not attracted to your girlfriend anymore? The why and the fixes]
What you need to know about STDs Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are infections that are passed on from one person to another through sexual contact. There are many STDs, including chlamydia, genital warts, syphilis, and trich. This article looks at some of the most common STDs, the symptoms, and how to avoid getting or passing an STD one on. Read now
Performance anxiety can be another cause of impotence. If a person wasn’t able to achieve an erection in the past, he may fear he won’t be able to achieve an erection in the future. A person may also find he can’t achieve an erection with a certain partner. Someone with ED related to performance anxiety may be able to have full erections when masturbating or when sleeping, yet he isn’t able to maintain an erection during intercourse.
The association between low testosterone and ED is not entirely clear. Although these 2 processes certainly overlap in some instances, they are distinct entities. Some 2-21% of men have both hypogonadism and ED; however, it is unclear to what degree treating the former will improve erectile function. [17] About 35-40% of men with low testosterone see an improvement in their erections with testosterone replacement; however, almost 65% of these men see no improvement. [15]

CONDITIONS OF USE: The information in this database is intended to supplement, not substitute for, the expertise and judgment of healthcare professionals. The information is not intended to cover all possible uses, directions, precautions, drug interactions or adverse effects, nor should it be construed to indicate that use of a particular drug is sage, appropriate or effective for you or anyone else. A healthcare professional should be consulted before taking any drug, changing any diet or commencing or discontinuing any course of treatment.
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