It can also help to tell your partner (either before you start or when it happens) that hey, sometimes it takes your penis a while to warm up or sometimes it comes and goes as it pleases — and that they shouldn't take it personally and you won't let it ruin the moment. When it happens, take a few deep breaths, focus on your partner, and go back to doing whatever was feeling good before. "If they approach that with authentic confidence, the partner is usually like 'OK, cool,'" says Skyler. "Remember, you're more than just your penis."
However, men are affected psychologically when it comes to achieving erections. For instance, if a man is with a woman for the first time, or even before he feels comfortable with her, he may suffer from performance anxiety. In such a situation, his mind and body are both saying yes, but then they become out of sync. The body is then saying yes, but the mind is filled with question. “Will I be able to perform?” “How long will I last?” “Am I big enough to satisfy her?” “Is she looking at that mole on my stomach?” All kinds of questions may be going through a man’s mind upon getting in bed, and these can be distracting, they can lead to self-doubt, and therefore, failure to achieve or maintain an erection.
Surgery: If neither drugs nor the vacuum pump works, your doctor may suggest surgery. With surgery, the doctor can place a device in your penis that will cause enough hardness for intercourse. In a few cases, infections may develop after the operation, and the doctor may have to remove the device. Another operation that may help you is rebuilding the blood vessels in the penis to increase blood flow into the penis or decrease blood flow out of the penis. These procedures can help you to get and maintain an erection.

early 15c., "physical weakness," also "poverty," from Middle French impotence "weakness," from Latin impotentia "lack of control or power," from impotentem (nominative impotens); see impotent. In reference to a want of (male) sexual potency, from c.1500. The figurative senses of the word in Latin were "violence, fury, unbridled passion." Related: Impotency.
A semi-firm penis if correctly handled can give a somewhat pleasant orgasm. I really don't think there is such a thing as an unpleasant orgasm though. I have have ED for two years. It has been than long since I had sex with my wife in her vagina. There has been plenty of oral sex for her. The ED drugs do not work with me. I take injectable Testosterone, and that does not make a big difference. About twice a month I am able to masturbate. Hey I am glad to know it still works. Next week I am going to see urologist number 2. The first one was a jerk and basically wrote me off because of my age. Now I have read about the Viberect device and the NEW pudendal artery (to the penis). There is hope, but in the mean time I will masturbate as often as I can.
If PDE-5 inhibitors are not suitable or don’t work, other therapies include injections into the base of the penis, which cause flow of blood into the penis and a fairly immediate erection that lasts around an hour. The drugs injected are alprostadil (Caverject and Erectile dysfunctionex) and Invicorp (VIP and phentolamine). Alprostadil may also be inserted as a gel into the opening of the penis. This is not suitable if your partner is pregnant.

It is common for a healthy older man to still want sex and be able to have sex within appropriate limitations. Understanding what is normal in older age is important to avoid frustration and concern. Older men and their partners often value being able to continue sexual activity and there is no age where the man is ‘too old’ to think about getting help with his erection or other sexual problems.

Measurement of the penile vibration perception threshold provides an inexpensive, reproducible, and painless screening test with acceptable sensitivity for detecting neuropathy. Abnormalities at the level of the sacral cord can be documented by sacral latency testing, while upper motor neuron impotence can be demonstrated with genital-cerebral evoked response testing. These latter procedures are not indicated in unselected patients with impotence.

In some cases, ED can be a warning sign of more serious disease. One study suggests ED is a strong predictor of heart attack, stroke, and death from cardiovascular disease. The researchers say all men diagnosed with ED should be evaluated for cardiovascular disease. This does not mean every man with ED will develop heart disease, or that every man with heart disease has ED, but patients should be aware of the link.

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