My fiancé and I have been together for four years, and while we've had our ups and downs, we're in a good place now and looking forward to our life together. Throughout our relationship, we've made some bad financial decisions. Since I'm the one with the credit cards (his credit is awful), I'm the one that's more affected. We're trying to dig ourselves out of this hole, and he does pay a good portion of the bills, but I recently found out he didn't pay even close to the amount he could have. Meanwhile, I'm basically spending my full paycheck trying to pay off my debts. When I asked about it, he said he didn't just want to "throw all of his money toward it," but that's exactly what I'm doing. Am I wrong to ask him to contribute more? He doesn't spend frivolously or anything, but I feel that we should focus on outstanding balances before trying to save money.
While erectile dysfunction can occur at any age, the risk of developing erectile dysfunction increases with age. According to the Massachusetts Male Aging Study, the prevalence of erectile dysfunction was 52% in men 40-70 years of age. The prevalence of complete erectile dysfunction increases from 5% at 40 years of age to 15% among men 70 years of age and older.
Psychological processes such as depression, anxiety, and relationship problems can impair erectile functioning by reducing erotic focus or otherwise reducing awareness of sensory experience. This may lead to inability to initiate or maintain an erection. Etiologic factors for erectile disorders may be categorized as neurogenic, vasculogenic, or psychogenic, but they most commonly appear to derive from problems in all three areas acting in concert.
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If you want to score points, this is the go-to line. I understand that when you can’t get hard, other sexy acts may be the last thing you want to do, but reciprocate the kindness your woman shows (unless you’re dating an asshole: If someone’s mean about an infrequent loss of boner, dump them.) Forget about your dick for a minute, and eat some pussy. Have you ever gotten head from a woman without getting her off? I thought so. You're taking the pressure off yourself, and giving her a grand gift. Bonus: A well-documented side effect of eating pussy is getting a boner, so this one is a win-win... win! Win!! WIN!!!!
Frankly, I sympathize with you: He’s got a bad credit history (and likely a history of making similarly poor financial decisions) and you are anxious to pay this debt back before anything else, to the extent that you’re “basically” spending your whole paycheck on debt. Should he be paying more right now? Maybe he should pay more — but, then again, maybe it’s not all or nothing: Maybe you could compromise.
Another common problem for men who have trouble in the bedroom is substance use or abuse. In some cases, a man suffering from erectile dysfunction may be diagnosed with depression and be prescribed selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs. These medications may be able to assist in alleviating the symptoms of depression, but they can also lead to erectile dysfunction.
Erectile dysfunction (ED), also known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or sustain a hard enough erection for satisfactory completion of sexual activity. Erectile dysfunction is different from other health conditions that interfere with male sexual function, such as lack of sexual desire (decreased libido) and problems with ejaculation release of the fluid from the penis (ejaculatory dysfunction) and orgasm/climax (orgasmic dysfunction), and penile curvature (Peyronie's disease), although these problems may also be present. ED affects about 50% of men age 40 and over. This article focuses on the evaluation and treatment of erectile dysfunction.
Traditionally, erectile impotence (the classical definition of impotence) is the failure to achieve penile erection during intercourse. It may have either physical or psychological causes. Alcoholism, endocrine disease, and neurological disorders are typical physical causes. Psychological causes include anxiety over performance, hostility or other negative feelings toward the sexual partner, and stress, anxiety, depression, or other emotional conflicts outside of the relationship. Erectile impotence occasionally occurs with age and, although attributed by the individual to the aging process itself, it is usually secondary to disorders of aging, such as faulty blood circulation or prostate disease. In cases of impotence caused by blood vessel dysfunction, an insufficient supply of blood flows into the penis, or the blood diffuses out into adjacent tissues.

The term "impotence," as applied to the title of this conference, has traditionally been used to signify the inability of the male to attain and maintain erection of the penis sufficient to permit satisfactory sexual intercourse. However, this use has often led to confusing and uninterpretable results in both clinical and basic science investigations. This, together with its pejorative implications, suggests that the more precise term "erectile dysfunction" be used instead to signify an inability of the male to achieve an erect penis as part of the overall multifaceted process of male sexual function.
Because there's no word better than "love," where do you go from "I love you"? I really, really love you? I love you so much? With a cherry on top? Ugh. Pretty soon, you're in Hallmark territory, quoting bad pop lyrics. Since "I love you" is as good as it gets, maybe you feel you've peaked. You might be wondering: Is this it? Do you just say the same thing, over and over, for the rest of your days? "I love you" can be scary when it seems to be a plateau and the end of something. But that's bullshit. Hopefully, "I love you" is just the beginning.
Just as certain meds can make it difficult for men to have an orgasm, some can keep the flagpole from even getting raised in the first place. Anti-depressant medications like Prozac and Zoloft, anti-anxiety pills like Valium, high blood pressure medicine like Diuril, and even over-the-counter cold medicines like Sudafed and anti-heartburn pills like Zantac can inhibit erections.
The recommended starting dose of vardenafil is 10 mg taken orally approximately one hour before sexual activity. A doctor may adjust the dose higher or lower depending on efficacy and side effects. The maximum recommended dose is 20 mg, and the maximum recommended dosing frequency is no more than once per day. Patients can take vardenafil with or without food. As with sildenafil, for vardenafil to be effective, sexual stimulation must occur.
Circulatory problems: An erection occurs when the penis fills with blood and a valve at the base of the penis traps it. Diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, clots, and atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) can all interfere with this process. Such circulatory problems are the number one cause of erectile dysfunction. Frequently, erectile dysfunction is the first noticeable symptom of cardiovascular disease.
ED may occur with or without other sexual dysfunction, including decreased libido (decreased interest in sexual activity), orgasmic dysfunction (troubles achieving an orgasm/climax), and ejaculatory dysfunction (problems with the fluid released during sex, including lack of ejaculation [anejaculation], small volume ejaculate, ejaculation that occurs too quickly [premature ejaculation], ejaculate that goes backward into the bladder [retrograde ejaculation] and pain with ejaculation).
A common and important cause of ED is vasculogenic. Many men with ED have comorbid conditions such as hyperlipidemia, hypercholesterolemia, tobacco abuse, diabetes mellitus, or coronary artery disease (CAD). [6] The Princeton III Consensus recommends screening men who present with ED for cardiovascular risk factors; ED may be the earliest presentation of atherosclerosis and vascular disease. [7]

Diet can also affect a man’s ability to achieve or maintain an erection. As stated, men who indulge in alcohol may have trouble with erections, but men who have poor diets, suffer from diabetes, or who are overweight can also restrict blood flow to the penis or suffer from poor body image. All of these factors, especially when combined, can lead to erectile dysfunction.


Smoking damages blood vessels, inhibiting blood flow throughout the body ... and I mean throughout the body. While studies have found that men with erectile problems only make up 20 percent of the general population, 40 percent of men with erectile problems are smokers. And a 2011 study of a group of male smokers with erectile problems found that 75 percent of them saw those erectile problems disappear after they quit.


Vacuum constriction devices may be effective at generating and maintaining erections in many patients with erectile dysfunction and these appear to have a low incidence of side effects. As with intracavernosal injection therapy, there is a significant rate of patient dropout with these devices, and the reasons for this phenomenon are unclear. The devices are difficult for some patients to use, and this is especially so in those with impaired manual dexterity. Also, these devices may impair ejaculation, which can then cause some discomfort. Patients and their partners sometimes are bothered by the lack of spontaneity in sexual relations that may occur with this procedure. The patient is sometimes also bothered by the general discomfort that can occur while using these devices. Partner involvement in training with these devices may be important for successful outcome, especially in regard to establishing a mutually satisfying level of sexual activity.

The observation that TRT enhances the efficacy of PDE5 inhibitors in hypogonadal men taking these therapies with suboptimal response to the PDE5 inhibitors alone has been reported.33 In addition, investigators have demonstrated that TRT in hypogonadal men can improve erectile function even without the benefit of PDE5 inhibitors.33 In addition, guidelines for managing ED in hypogonadal men by the European Association of Urology recommend controlling the man to a eugonadal state prior to initiation of PDE5 inhibitor therapy.36 Testosterone measurement consists of a serum specimen which should be ideally obtained in the morning because of the normal diurnal variation of testosterone which is at its peak in the morning. Since TRT is relatively safe, and men can potentially see an improvement in erectile function, it seems prudent to consider this issue when presented with a patient suffering from ED.

Impotence, also called erectile dysfunction, in general, the inability of a man to achieve or maintain penile erection and hence the inability to participate fully in sexual intercourse. In its broadest sense the term impotence refers to the inability to become sexually aroused; in this sense it can apply to women as well as to men. In common practice, however, the term has traditionally been used to describe only male sexual dysfunctions. Professional sex therapists, while they identify two distinct dysfunctions as forms of impotence, prefer not to use the term impotence per se. Thus, because of its pejorative connotation in lay usage and because of confusion about its definition, the word impotence has been eliminated from the technical vocabulary in favour of the term “erectile dysfunction.”
For many men, there is no direct factor involved in erectile dysfunction other than the natural process or aging. As men age, the testosterone hormone decreases in productivity and circulation. Basically, the body is saying that the man has done his job, especially if he has had children. During this time of drawdown on testosterone, men may experience weaker erections, more difficulty in achieving erections, and more difficulty in maintaining erections.

The information shared on our websites is information developed solely from internal experts on the subject matter, including medical advisory boards, who have developed guidelines for our patient content. This material does not constitute medical advice. It is intended for informational purposes only. No one associated with the National Kidney Foundation will answer medical questions via e-mail. Please consult a physician for specific treatment recommendations.
#7 You’re way too distracted. It’s not exactly sexy to try and screw while your newborn/parents/relatives/friends are perched in the next room. If you’re distracted by a loud TV, knocks at the door, or your phone going off while you’re trying to go down on your partner, it’s going to make it an aggravating sexual experience. Not exactly ideal grounds for getting an erection.
Dr. Liou says that some men come to him after getting a prescription from their primary care doctors, claiming that the drug doesn't work. Sometimes it's because they used it incorrectly. "The biggest misconception is that these drugs are an on/off switch for erections," Dr. Liou says. But the drugs don't work well without sexual stimulation. "During that time, you need to be with your partner and have foreplay," Dr. Liou says. "Don't take it, do the taxes or the dishes, and then meet at the bedroom thinking you'll be ready to go. It's not like that."
Organic Impotence. Diabetes mellitus, thyroid disease, and dysfunction of the pituitary gland or testes can cause impotence, as can certain medications. Other organic causes include arterial ischemia associated with atherosclerosis of the aorta and common iliac arteries, extensive pelvic surgery such as radical prostatectomy, spinal cord injury and other neurologic disorders, and a history of cigarette smoking. Because certain medications can cause impotence, it is recommended that in cases of recent impotence it be determined whether the patient has started on a new drug. The most common offenders are diuretics, antihypertensives, and vasodilators. Alcohol, which sometimes is ignored as a drug, is often a contributor to the problem of impotence.
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Treatment. prostatitis or another acute infection affecting the genitalia can cause temporary impotence that clears up in response to antibiotics. The smooth muscle relaxant sildenafil (viagra) was introduced in 1998 as a treatment for organic impotence. Administration of testosterone may be indicated if low levels of this hormone are found in a blood sample. If impotence is organic and does not respond to other therapies, a penile prosthesis can be implanted; this is usually done surgically by a urologist. Other therapies include the use of vacuum tumescence devices and penile injection of pharmacologic agents that cause dilation.
Many men gain potency by injecting drugs into the penis, causing it to become engorged with blood. Drugs such as papaverine hydrochloride, phentolamine, and alprostadil (marked as Caverject) widen blood vessels. These drugs may create unwanted side effects, however, including persistent erection (known as priapism) and scarring. Nitroglycerin, a muscle relaxant, sometimes can enhance erection when rubbed on the surface of the penis.
In other words, there are dozens of reasons he might not be getting it up, which have absolutely nothing to do with your relationship. Honestly, there's just no way for me to give you specific advice here. If it's a serious problem, you should encourage him to check in with his primary care physician first, and then, perhaps, a therapist, in the nicest way possible.
Healthy lifestyle minimizes risk of ED. Erection depends on blood flow through the penis. Anything that impairs it increases ED risk: smoking, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, being overweight, sedentary lifestyle, more than two alcoholic drinks a day, and fewer than five daily servings of fruits and vegetables. Avoiding these risk factors does not prevent post-50 erection changes, but it preserves erection function and helps prevent ED.
Many men gain potency by injecting drugs into the penis, causing it to become engorged with blood. Drugs such as papaverine hydrochloride, phentolamine, and alprostadil (marked as Caverject) widen blood vessels. These drugs may create unwanted side effects, however, including persistent erection (known as priapism) and scarring. Nitroglycerin, a muscle relaxant, sometimes can enhance erection when rubbed on the surface of the penis.

Dr. Liou says that some men come to him after getting a prescription from their primary care doctors, claiming that the drug doesn't work. Sometimes it's because they used it incorrectly. "The biggest misconception is that these drugs are an on/off switch for erections," Dr. Liou says. But the drugs don't work well without sexual stimulation. "During that time, you need to be with your partner and have foreplay," Dr. Liou says. "Don't take it, do the taxes or the dishes, and then meet at the bedroom thinking you'll be ready to go. It's not like that."
A rigid or nearly rigid erectile response to intracavernous injection of pharmacologic test doses of a vasodilating agent (see below) indicates adequate arterial and veno-occlusive function. This suggests that the patient may be a suitable candidate for a trial of penile injection therapy. Genital stimulation may be of use in increasing the erectile response in this setting. This diagnostic technique also may be used to differentiate a vascular from a primarily neuropathic or psychogenic etiology. Patients who have an inadequate response to intracavernous pharmacologic injection may be candidates for further vascular testing. It should be recognized, however, that failure to respond adequately may not indicate vascular insufficiency but can be caused by patient anxiety or discomfort. The number of patients who may benefit from more extensive vascular testing is small, but includes young men with a history of significant perineal or pelvic trauma, who may have anatomic arterial blockage (either alone or with neurologic deficit) to account for erectile dysfunction.
Your ability to orgasm is not connected to the prostate gland, although a man who has had a radical prostatectomy will have a dry orgasm with no ejaculation. As long as you have normal skin sensation, you should be able to have an orgasm with the right sexual stimulation. This means that treating your ED will allow you to resume a normal, healthy sex life.

Besides treating the underlying causes such as potassium deficiency or arsenic contamination of drinking water, the first line treatment of erectile dysfunction consists of a trial of PDE5 inhibitor (such as sildenafil). In some cases, treatment can involve prostaglandin tablets in the urethra, injections into the penis, a penile prosthesis, a penis pump or vascular reconstructive surgery.[1]

Fact is, almost all men experience erection problems from time to time. Sometimes it's a temporary condition that will go away with just power of mind or little treatment. But unfortunately in many cases it may be an ongoing problem. Whatever it is, if you don't want to eventually destroy your self esteem and harm relationship with your lover, immediate treatment is required.

Effective treatment for erectile dysfunction is available, and for most men will allow the return to a fulfilling sex life. The side effects of the treatment for erectile dysfunction vary depending on the treatment that is used. Some may interrupt the spontaneity of sexual activity. For example, PDE-5 inhibitors typically need to be taken one hour before sex. Side effects may include headaches, indigestion, vasodilation, diarrhoea and blue tinge to vision. Other treatments such as penile injections may cause pain at the injection site, or an erection that will not go down. Treatment options need to be carefully discussed with your doctor to determine which one is best suited to you.


Little is known about the natural history of erectile dysfunction. This includes information on the age of onset, incidence rates stratified by age, progression of the condition, and frequency of spontaneous recovery. There also are very limited data on associated morbidity and functional impairment. To date, the data are predominantly available for whites, with other racial and ethnic populations represented only in smaller numbers that do not permit analysis of these issues as a function of race or ethnicity.

Some may use alcohol as a way to get into the mood and overcome some of the nerves associated with having sex, but too much of a good thing can actually backfire. In fact, having a long history of alcohol abuse may lead to long-term erectile dysfunction. As many as 70 percent of men with chronic erectile dysfunction also have a history of alcohol abuse.

As a retired police Sgt. Mid 50's I always had a few anxiety or medicine related ED' s but those were women that didn't matter and I always made sure to have a laugh and good time. Now Been with one great women 16 years. Now I'm heavy, drink more than I should, take pain med for chronic pain and watch tv. Anyone here recognize this. how about those recreational drugs I don't do. Before complaining do what I just started. Lose weight, stop reading this and shut off the tv, STOP smoking, go to the Dr. Get blood work done, talk to someone even or especially your better half, talk to and trust your Dr. Trust me, he's heard much worse. Trust that inner voice or gut, it's there for you. And mostly stop saying what about me and my winky, and take care of the other one who loves, cleans, sleeps and whatever else he/she does For u. This won't work for all but I know somehow it will help... AND YOU MIGHT BE DAMN SURPRISED!!!


You may already know that lots of hard drugs — like cocaine, heroin, or Oxycontin — can cause sexual problems (though, quite frankly, if you're on cocaine, heroin, or Oxycontin, you have many more pressing concerns to deal with than getting dirrrty). But did you know that sometimes, even pot can inhibit erections? And you thought weed was just a harmless way to enjoy the musical stylings of Pink Floyd. Who knew it could actually mess with one's own pink floyd?
The U.S. FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has a list of 29 OTC products that claim to treat erectile dysfunction. Patients should avoid these because many contain harmful ingredients. Other natural or herbal remedies such as DHEA, L-arginine, ginseng, and yohimbe are supplements that have been used but have not been proven safe and effective according to some researchers. Before using such compounds, individuals should consult their doctor. According to some experts, acupuncture does not effectively treat erectile dysfunction. Other home remedies for reducing ED symptoms include diet changes such as eating blueberries and citrus fruits and drinking red wine.

PDE 5 inhibitors are broken down primarily by enzyme, cytochrome P450enzyme CYP3A4. Medications that decrease or increase the activity of CYP3A4 may affect levels and effectiveness of PDE 5 inhibitors. Such drugs include medications for the treatment of HIV (protease inhibitors) and the antifungal medications ketoconazole and itraconazole. Thus caution is recommended.
Yeah, because in some cases, things had settled down after the guy couldn't get it up any longer and the wife might even have been relieved. Typically, at the stage of life when ED hits, many women are in menopause and have vaginal dryness and pain, which could especially be a problem after a long period of no intercourse because of the guy's ED. And so when he suddenly wants to have intercourse like a 20-year-old every day after taking Viagra, it's the last thing the wife wanted. Or as has happened in some cases, the wife thinks the erection is "fake" -- it's just "chemical" and doesn't really represent his attraction for her. Any excuse to avoid vaginal pain and dryness problems, if not just plain disinterest in sex.
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It is essential to discuss erectile dysfunction with your doctor, so any serious underlying causes can be excluded and treatment options can be discussed. Many men are embarrassed discussing this issue with their doctor, or even their partner. Open communication with your doctor, and in your relationship, is important for effectively managing this common problem.

Picture the scene. You get home from the bar with your date. You both decided to leave a little early, after only two drinks, because the chemistry was really there and both of you wanted to cut to the chase and get intimate. To discover each other's bodies. To eat of the fruits of passion. In short, to have sex. You stick the key in the lock, swing the door open, and invite her into your beautiful place. OK, well it might not be exactly beautiful. It might be a bit of a mess, frankly. But you don't let that ruin the moment. You turn around and passionately kiss her. How the two of you make it to your bedroom with some clothing still on is anybody's guess. You jump on the bed and hurriedly strip. God — can't this go any faster, you wonder? 


Yes, the vacuum device is effective. In fact, with use of the vacuum device, 88% of men will have an erection that is satisfactory for completion of sexual activity. The vacuum device may be the only therapy that is effective after the removal of a penile prosthesis. Patients also use vacuum devices as part of penile rehabilitation after radical prostatectomy to help preserve the tissue of the penis and prevent scarring within the penis and loss of penile length. Its use, however, is limited by the mechanical nature of it and the time taken to pump the device and apply the band. Sex partners may complain of the penis being cool to touch.

Vascular damage may result from radiation therapy to the pelvis and prostate in the treatment of prostate cancer. [36] Both the blood vessels and the nerves to the penis may be affected. Radiation damage to the crura of the penis, which are highly susceptible to radiation damage, can induce ED. Data indicate that 50% of men undergoing radiation therapy lose erectile function within 5 years after completing therapy; fortunately, some respond to one of the PDE5 inhibitors.


Sexual functioning involves a complex interaction among biologic, sociocultural, and psychological factors, and the complexity of this interaction makes it difficult to ascertain the clinical etiology of sexual dysfunction. Before any diagnosis of sexual dysfunction is made, problems that are explained by a nonsexual mental disorder or other stressors must first be addressed. Thus, in addition to the criteria for erectile disorder, the following must be considered:
An initial approach to medical therapy should consider reversible medical problems that may contribute to erectile dysfunction. Included in this should be assessment of the possibility of medication-induced erectile dysfunction with consideration for reduction of polypharmacy and/or substitution of medications with lower probability of inducing erectile dysfunction.
So here’s something that’s really fascinating. Healthy eating is a way to reduce anxiety and stress. Now how, you may be asking, right? Well, think about it. We live in a world where there are so many variables and where we don’t have control over our lives. But now, with healthy eating, we have control over what goes into our body. And now having that control empowers us to be even healthier, to be more directive in what we do. And certainly, that begins then to reduce the anxiety and the stress. So all in one, you have a healthier body, but certainly a healthier mind.
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