Your boyfriend is having a pretty normal problem but because guys are so insecure, they almost never talk about it. That silence often makes guys, especially young guys, panicky — like they’re the only ones in the world dealing with this problem. That freaks them out even more, and that anxiety feeds on itself in a fairly classic and unfortunately common pattern: When a guy has trouble getting it up, he gets so down that the impotence gets worse before it gets better. Anxiety-driven impotence can be a vicious cycle: Quite unlike his dick, the problem just grows and grows.
Diabetes is one of the most common causes of ED. Chronically high blood sugar levels can result in nerve damage that affects your body’s ability to translate pleasurable sexual stimulation into an erection. Diabetes can also lead to issues with circulation, which reduces blood flow to the penis and makes it more difficult to keep an erection that is hard enough for intercourse.
You’ve heard of—and probably experienced—the numbing effect alcohol has on your mind, body, and (unfortunately) penis. If you fail to rise to the occasion on a regular basis and you're drinking has gone from occassional weekend binge to a Monday through Friday ordeal, consider cutting back—way back. Heavy drinking proportionately increases your risk of ED, according to research from the Indian Journal of Psychiatry.

Vacuum constriction devices may be effective at generating and maintaining erections in many patients with erectile dysfunction and these appear to have a low incidence of side effects. As with intracavernosal injection therapy, there is a significant rate of patient dropout with these devices, and the reasons for this phenomenon are unclear. The devices are difficult for some patients to use, and this is especially so in those with impaired manual dexterity. Also, these devices may impair ejaculation, which can then cause some discomfort. Patients and their partners sometimes are bothered by the lack of spontaneity in sexual relations that may occur with this procedure. The patient is sometimes also bothered by the general discomfort that can occur while using these devices. Partner involvement in training with these devices may be important for successful outcome, especially in regard to establishing a mutually satisfying level of sexual activity.
Because impotence can be due to health problems that can affect the whole body, and because it can interfere with one’s quality of life, it is important to talk with your doctor if you have trouble attaining or maintaining an erection. With increasing discussion of impotence in the media, coupled with advances in treatment, men are now much more comfortable talking with their doctors about impotence. It is currently estimated that between 15 and 30 million men in the United States are affected by impotence (Source: NIDDK).
A useful and simple way to distinguish between physiological and psychological impotence is to determine whether the patient ever has an erection. If never, the problem is likely to be physiological; if sometimes (however rarely), it could be physiological or psychological. The current diagnostic and statistical manual of mental diseases (DSM-IV) has included a listing for impotence.
Psychotherapy and/or behavioral therapy may be useful for some patients with erectile dysfunction without obvious organic cause, and for their partners. These may also be used as an adjunct to other therapies directed at the treatment of organic erectile dysfunction. Outcome data from such therapy, however, have not been well-documented or quantified, and additional studies along these lines are indicated.

Dr. Shiel received a Bachelor of Science degree with honors from the University of Notre Dame. There he was involved in research in radiation biology and received the Huisking Scholarship. After graduating from St. Louis University School of Medicine, he completed his Internal Medicine residency and Rheumatology fellowship at the University of California, Irvine. He is board-certified in Internal Medicine and Rheumatology.
Erectile dysfunction can be effectively treated with a variety of methods. Many patients and health care providers are unaware of these treatments, and the dysfunction thus often remains untreated, compounded by its psychological impact. Concurrent with the increase in the availability of effective treatment methods has been increased availability of new diagnostic procedures that may help in the selection of an effective, cause-specific treatment. This conference was designed to explore these issues and to define the state of the art.
It doesn't really matter what they are — sexual turnoffs vary wildly from person to person. But if the person you're getting it on with is doing stuff that's taking you out of the mood — even if it's stuff you feel like you're supposed to enjoy — it's time to swallow your pride and say something. Keeping it a secret might be saving you an awkward conversation in the short term, but in the long term, it could be seriously undermining your sex life. 

The National Institutes of Health Consensus Development Conference on Impotence was convened to address (1) the prevalence and clinical, psychological, and social impact of erectile dysfunction; (2) the risk factors for erectile dysfunction and how they might be used in preventing its development; (3) the need for and appropriate diagnostic assessment and evaluation of patients with erectile dysfunction; (4) the efficacies and risks of behavioral, pharmacological, surgical, and other treatments for erectile dysfunction; (5) strategies for improving public and professional awareness and knowledge of erectile dysfunction; and (6) future directions for research in prevention, diagnosis, and management of erectile dysfunction. Following 2 days of presentations by experts and discussion by the audience, a consensus panel weighed the evidence and prepared their consensus statement.
Not to give your already stressed-out dude one more thing to worry about, but stress is the cause of 20 percent of all erectile problems, from one-off boner blunders to a lingering inability to get and maintain an erection. Of course, sex difficulties are just the tip of the stress-induced health problem iceberg — sustained stress can also lead to insomnia, stomach troubles, chest pains, anxiety, and more severe health issues in the long term.
Erections occur in response to tactile, olfactory, and visual stimuli. The ability to achieve and maintain a full erection depends not only on the penile portion of the process but also on the status of the peripheral nerves, the integrity of the vascular supply, and biochemical events within the corpora. The autonomic nervous system is involved in erection, orgasm, and tumescence. The parasympathetic nervous system is primarily involved in sustaining and maintaining an erection, which is derived from S2-S4 nerve roots.

If you want to score points, this is the go-to line. I understand that when you can’t get hard, other sexy acts may be the last thing you want to do, but reciprocate the kindness your woman shows (unless you’re dating an asshole: If someone’s mean about an infrequent loss of boner, dump them.) Forget about your dick for a minute, and eat some pussy. Have you ever gotten head from a woman without getting her off? I thought so. You're taking the pressure off yourself, and giving her a grand gift. Bonus: A well-documented side effect of eating pussy is getting a boner, so this one is a win-win... win! Win!! WIN!!!!

Estimates of the prevalence of impotence depend on the definition employed for this condition. For the purposes of this consensus development conference statement, impotence is defined as male erectile dysfunction, that is, the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual performance. Erectile performance has been characterized by the degree of dysfunction, and estimates of prevalence (the number of men with the condition) vary depending on the definition of erectile dysfunction used.
The cost to you for ED drug therapy varies considerably, depending on the pharmacy price, prescription co-pays, and your level of health plan coverage. Nationally, the out-of-pocket cost per pill ranges from approximately $15 to $20. Even if private insurance covers it, you may be limited to four doses per month. Here are a few things you can do to contain costs:
The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of hims, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.
Additionally, the physiologic processes involving erections begin at the genetic level. Certain genes become activated at critical times to produce proteins vital to sustaining this pathway. Some researchers have focused on identifying particular genes that place men at risk for ED. At present, these studies are limited to animal models, and little success has been reported to date. [4] Nevertheless, this research has given rise to many new treatment targets and a better understanding of the entire process.
The drugs work best in combination with sex therapy. Several studies have shown this. There’s more to satisfying sex than just an erection. The quality of the relationship is crucial, especially if sex has been a sore point or if the couple hasn’t had much for a while. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
This is a completely legitimate and rational fear that disrupts a man’s ability to become aroused. If a man is not ready for a child and you are not on birth control, there is always a chance you could conceive. If you are new to one another, he doesn’t know for certain if you are a carrier of a disease. This is where the physiological and the psychological partner up and shut it down, to protect their dude.
In terms of practical solutions, this is a common problem so there are some common aids. Drugs like Viagra or Cialis or Levitra work for many, many men. If his doctor recommends it, there’s no shame in popping a pill if it solves the problem — particularly if it helps alleviate the anxiety. Sometimes, a guy just needs to get his groove back for a while so he can relax and start having fun again. Also don’t forget the noble, oft-ignored cock ring, which constricts blood flow and helps men keep it up. They’re cheap and easy.

Let’s admit that not “talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable” is a sure-fire recipe for total disaster. Maybe you’re exaggerating, but if he can’t deal with anything even slightly difficult, then that is a bigger problem than pillow talk. Think about how exactly it would affect everything else in your relationship. He can’t choose not to deal. When good things are happening, it’s a shame he can’t say "I love you0". But when hard things happen, he can’t just say: "Um, pass."
This may be the oldest excuse in the book as a reason not to have safe sex, but research has confirmed that condoms may interfere with some men’s ability to have and hold an erection. For example, a 2006 study found that, over a three-month period, about 37 percent of men lost at least one erection when putting on a condom, or during sex with a condom, SexualHealth.com reported.
For many men, there is no direct factor involved in erectile dysfunction other than the natural process or aging. As men age, the testosterone hormone decreases in productivity and circulation. Basically, the body is saying that the man has done his job, especially if he has had children. During this time of drawdown on testosterone, men may experience weaker erections, more difficulty in achieving erections, and more difficulty in maintaining erections.
Impotence can have emotional causes but most often it is due to a physical problem. The physical causes of impotence include diseases (such as diabetes and hypertension), injuries (such as from prostate surgery), side-effects of drugs (such as the protease inhibitors used in HIV therapy), and disorders (such as atherosclerosis) that impair blood flow in the penis. Impotence is treatable in all age groups. Treatments include psychotherapy, vacuum devices, surgery and, most often today, drug therapy.
Cavallini, G., Modenini, F., Vitali, G., & Koverech, A. (2005, November). Acetyl-L-carnitine plus propionyl-L-carnitine improve efficacy of sildenafil in treatment of erectile dysfunction after bilateral nerve-sparing radical retropubic prostatectomy. Urology, 66(5), 1080-5. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0090429505006515
Metabolism (breakdown) of vardenafil can be slowed by aging, liver disease, and concurrent use of certain medications (such as erythromycin [an antibiotic], ketoconazole [Nizoral, a medication for fungal/yeast infections], and protease inhibitors [medications used to treat AIDS]). Slowed breakdown allows vardenafil to accumulate in the body and potentially increase the risk for side effects. Therefore, in men over 65 years of age with liver disease, or who are also taking medication(s) that can slow the breakdown of vardenafil, the doctor will initiate vardenafil at low doses to avoid its accumulation. For example,
The cost to you for ED drug therapy varies considerably, depending on the pharmacy price, prescription co-pays, and your level of health plan coverage. Nationally, the out-of-pocket cost per pill ranges from approximately $15 to $20. Even if private insurance covers it, you may be limited to four doses per month. Here are a few things you can do to contain costs:
Besides PDE5 inhibitors and among second-line therapies are VCDs which are clear plastic chambers placed over the penis, tightened against the lower abdomen with a mechanism to create a vacuum inside the chamber. This directs blood into the penis. If an adequate erection occurs inside the chamber, the patient slips a small constriction band off the end of the VCD and onto the base of the penis. An erection beyond 30 min is not recommended. These devices can be a bit cumbersome, but are very safe.40

The physical examination can reveal clues for physical causes of erectile dysfunction. A doctor will perform an assessment of BMI and waist circumference to evaluate for abdominal obesity. A genital examination is part of the evaluation of erectile dysfunction. The examination will focus on the penis and testes. The doctor will ask you about penile curvature and will examine the penis to see if there are any plaques (hard areas) palpable. The doctor will examine the testes to make sure they are in the proper location in the scrotum and are normal in size. Small testicles, lack of facial hair, and enlarged breasts (gynecomastia) can point to hormonal problems such as hypogonadism with low testosterone levels. A health care provider may check pulses in your groin and feet to determine if there is a suggestion of hardening of the arteries that could also affect the arteries to the penis.
Maybe your performance issues stem from feelings of discomfort relating to something you've done. Are you having trouble performing because you're feeling uncertain about whether you really love your partner? Or because you feel like you crossed a line in terms of infidelity and now the guilt is tearing you up inside? Maybe your conscience is what's wreaking havoc with your sex.
To a significant degree, the public, particularly older men, is conditioned to accept erectile dysfunction as a condition of progressive aging for which little can be done. In addition, there is considerable inaccurate public information regarding sexual function and dysfunction. Often, this is in the form of advertisements in which enticing promises are made, and patients then become even more demoralized when promised benefits fail to materialize. Accurate information on sexual function and the management of dysfunction must be provided to affected men and their partners. They also must be encouraged to seek professional help, and providers must be aware of the embarrassment and/or discouragement that may often be reasons why men with erectile dysfunction avoid seeking appropriate treatment.
Remember what I said before about how it's not you? Okay, sometimes it is you. But it's not that you're not sexy — it's that for men, as well as women, relationship problems (like fighting all the time, or having clashing expectations about where things are going) can severely mess up your sex drive and ability to become aroused. Which makes sense — if you're spending 90 percent of your time together fighting about whether you're going to move in, switching gears to make 10 percent of your time together into a sexy sex party is pretty damned difficult.
Because adequate arterial supply is critical for erection, any disorder that impairs blood flow may be implicated in the etiology of erectile failure. Most of the medical disorders associated with erectile dysfunction appear to affect the arterial system. Some disorders may interfere with the corporal veno-occlusive mechanism and result in failure to trap blood within the penis, or produce leakage such that an erection cannot be maintained or is easily lost.
Then you have to be able to make the right diagnosis. What is the basis for their erectile dysfunction? Is it psychogenic? Is it some sort of neurological or blood vessel or hormonal issue? So you have to make a diagnosis. You have to be able to make an assessment. And then only after those things are done, then you start to think about medications.
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