If you’re no longer having intercourse, you don’t need erections. Most men assume that erections are necessary for sex. No. Couples can have great sex without them. Intercourse becomes problematic for older couples. Men have erection issues and post-menopausal women develop vaginal dryness and atrophy that can make intercourse uncomfortable (or worse) even with lubricants. Many older couples jettison intercourse in favor of mutual massage, oral sex, and sex toys—and still enjoy hot sex.
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The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of hims, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.
The drugs work best in combination with sex therapy. Several studies have shown this. There’s more to satisfying sex than just an erection. The quality of the relationship is crucial, especially if sex has been a sore point or if the couple hasn’t had much for a while. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
Your question reminds me of this brilliant Louis CK bit from his special Hilarious, in which he talks about a guy who said his appetizer was amazing. "Really? You were amazed by a basket of chicken wings? What if Jesus comes down from the sky and makes love to you all night long and leaves the new living lord in your belly? What are you going to call that? You used amazing on a basket of chicken wings! You've limited yourself verbally to a shit life."
Psychological factors on their own are estimated to be the cause of 20% of all the cases of erectile dysfunction and account for most of the difficulties in young men. They can also contribute towards its continuation in all age groups where physical causes are the main culprit, but the man’s reaction to what he sees as his “failure” has added a psychological impact.
Healthy lifestyle minimizes risk of ED. Erection depends on blood flow through the penis. Anything that impairs it increases ED risk: smoking, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, being overweight, sedentary lifestyle, more than two alcoholic drinks a day, and fewer than five daily servings of fruits and vegetables. Avoiding these risk factors does not prevent post-50 erection changes, but it preserves erection function and helps prevent ED.
I am 60 & have erection problems for 20 plus years. Factors for me include heavy smoking for 30 years, overweight, bad eating habits,many medications that claim " may cause sexual side effects ", extreme anxiety, circumcision, & stressful relationships. E.D. has been a big part of relationships ending. Masturbation is now my only recourse & that is many times unsuccessful Also have tried all of the E.D. medications with no success.Stress has been the biggest factor for inability to achieve an erection for me. An inventory of male erogenous zones is key. Many males are shy about trying what works for me with is extreme nipple play. That allows orgasm for me 90 percent of the time. Even at my age daily orgasms are welcome in me life. As far as knowing how to care for the older ladies, it is a learning process as to which I have been a good student. Pleasing a lady even without intercourse is very much possible.
In prescribing sildenafil, a doctor considers the age, general health status, and other medication(s) the patient is taking. The usual starting dose for most men is 50 mg, however, the doctor may increase or decrease the dose depending on side effects and effectiveness. The maximum recommended dose is 100 mg every 24 hours. However, many men will need 100 mg of sildenafil for optimal effectiveness, and some doctors are recommending 100 mg as the starting dose.
Since endothelial dysfunction, CVD and ED are closely associated in epidemiological studies, the question for clinicians is whether to recommend the man presenting with ED undergo a cardiovascular (CV) evaluation. Clearly, based on numerous studies, ED can be considered at least a ‘marker’ for possible further vascular disease or CVD.15 In their report, Vlachopoulos and coworkers make the point that the man presenting with ED, the clinician, is offered an opportunity to attempt to improve the health of the man by addressing lifestyle modification, and consider further vascular evaluation owing to the clear relationship between endothelial dysfunction, ED and CVD.19
A device involving a plastic cylinder and pump is used to make blood rush to your penis, enlarging it in a similar way to an instant erection. When you remove the pump, the erection is sustained by slipping a tension ring around the base of the penis. Sounds awful. I don't think you will tell your partner to "please hold on for 20 minutes, I need to put my vacuum pump on to get erect" or "how to get an erection without that magic pump?"
Prevention of some of the causes that contribute to the development of erectile dysfunction can decrease the chances of developing the problem. For example, if a person decreases their chances of developing diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension, they will decrease their chances of developing erectile dysfunction. Other things like stopping smoking, eating a healthy diet (heart healthy with adequate vitamin intake), and exercising daily may reduce a person's risk.

When we say it’s a barometer of men’s health, it’s a signal. It’s an indicator that things may be right or not. And so when a man develops an erectile problem– and we’re talking about something that is occurring over time. It’s not something that just occurred overnight. When it occurs overnight, it’s more often than not a psychogenic, an anxiety reaction.
Maybe you're worried that if your boyfriend can use "love" on chicken wings and beer and last night's Game of Thrones, then it means less when he says that he loves you. The thing is, we don't really have a word that's more profound. He's working with all we've got. But maybe you think it means even less when he says it all the damn time. Your boyfriend is coming on so strong that you may not trust that he feels the love every time he says it. And maybe you worry it's more about his insecurity, his need to hear you say it back.
Male/Female Perceptions and Influences. The diagnosis of erectile dysfunction may be understood as the presence of a condition limiting choices for sexual interaction and possibly limiting opportunity for sexual satisfaction. The impact of this condition depends very much on the dynamics of the relationship of the individual and his sexual partner and their expectation of performance. When changes in sexual function are perceived by the individual and his partner as a natural consequence of the aging process, they may modify their sexual behavior to accommodate the condition and maintain sexual satisfaction. Increasingly, men do not perceive erectile dysfunction as a normal part of aging and seek to identify means by which they may return to their previous level and range of sexual activities. Such levels and expectations and desires for future sexual interactions are important aspects of the evaluation of patients presenting with a chief complaint of erectile dysfunction.
Most older men suffer not ED but erection dissatisfaction. Starting around age 50 (often earlier among smokers and/or diabetics), erections change. In some men, the process is gradual, in others, it happens more quickly. Either way, older men lose the ability to raise erections solely from sexual fantasies. Direct fondling of the penis becomes necessary. When erections appear, they rise more slowly and do not become as firm as they were during men’s thirties and forties. And minor distractions may cause wilting—the doorbell or an ambulance siren. These changes alarm many men, who jump to the conclusion that they must have ED. If you can still raise erection durings masturbation, you don’t. What you have is erection dissatisfaction.
What’s important to take away from this is that, because erections can occur throughout the day for no reason, erectile dysfunction can be difficult to diagnose. Some men achieve erections for no reason, yet when provided with stimuli, they aren’t able to. Some men, on the other hand, only get aroused when directly stimulated. This means that healthcare professionals need to take into account many variables prior to diagnosing and treating erectile dysfunction.

By contrast, psychogenic impotence typically is abrupt in onset, often in relation to psychological trauma, and may wax and wane. Patients with psychogenic impotence may have total erectile failure with one partner but not another, or be impotent during sexual intercourse but not during self-stimulation. Normally occurring spontaneous erections in the morning suggest psychogenic rather than organic causes for impotence.

The most important organic causes of impotence are cardiovascular disease and diabetes, neurological problems (for example, trauma from prostatectomy surgery), hormonal insufficiencies (hypogonadism) and drug side effects. Psychological impotence is where erection or penetration fails due to thoughts or feelings (psychological reasons) rather than physical impossibility; this is somewhat less frequent but can often be helped. In psychological impotence, there is a strong response to placebo treatment.


Don’t give up or blame yourself - you shouldn’t assume that your situation is impossible to improve or that your partner is disappointed in you. Studies show as long as you don’t stop trying to engage your partner sexually, they will still respond positively. If you communicate and stay positive you can work with your partner to get the result you’re looking for.
Remember what I said before about how it's not you? Okay, sometimes it is you. But it's not that you're not sexy — it's that for men, as well as women, relationship problems (like fighting all the time, or having clashing expectations about where things are going) can severely mess up your sex drive and ability to become aroused. Which makes sense — if you're spending 90 percent of your time together fighting about whether you're going to move in, switching gears to make 10 percent of your time together into a sexy sex party is pretty damned difficult.

This is a completely legitimate and rational fear that disrupts a man’s ability to become aroused. If a man is not ready for a child and you are not on birth control, there is always a chance you could conceive. If you are new to one another, he doesn’t know for certain if you are a carrier of a disease. This is where the physiological and the psychological partner up and shut it down, to protect their dude.
Male/Female Perceptions and Influences. The diagnosis of erectile dysfunction may be understood as the presence of a condition limiting choices for sexual interaction and possibly limiting opportunity for sexual satisfaction. The impact of this condition depends very much on the dynamics of the relationship of the individual and his sexual partner and their expectation of performance. When changes in sexual function are perceived by the individual and his partner as a natural consequence of the aging process, they may modify their sexual behavior to accommodate the condition and maintain sexual satisfaction. Increasingly, men do not perceive erectile dysfunction as a normal part of aging and seek to identify means by which they may return to their previous level and range of sexual activities. Such levels and expectations and desires for future sexual interactions are important aspects of the evaluation of patients presenting with a chief complaint of erectile dysfunction.

After the history, physical examination, and laboratory testing, a clinical impression can be obtained of a primarily psychogenic, organic, or mixed etiology for erectile dysfunction. Patients with primary or associated psychogenic factors may be offered further psychologic evaluation, and patients with endocrine abnormalities may be referred to an endocrinologist to evaluate the possibility of a pituitary lesion or hypogonadism. Unless previously diagnosed, suspicion of neurologic deficit may be further assessed by complete neurologic evaluation. No further diagnostic tests appear necessary for those patients who favor noninvasive treatment (e.g., vacuum constrictive devices, or pharmacologic injection therapy). Patients who do not respond satisfactorily to these noninvasive treatments may be candidates for penile implant surgery or further diagnostic testing for possible additional invasive therapies.
This consensus development conference on male erectile dysfunction has provided an overview of current knowledge on the prevalence, etiology, pathophysiology, diagnosis, and management of this condition. The growing individual and societal awareness and open acknowledgment of the problem have led to increased interest and resultant explosion of knowledge in each of these areas. Research on this condition has produced many controversies, which also were expressed at this conference. Numerous questions were identified that may serve as foci for future research directions. These will depend on the development of precise agreement among investigators and clinicians in this field on the definition of what constitutes erectile dysfunction, and what factors in its multifaceted nature contribute to its expression. In addition, further investigation of these issues will require collaborative efforts of basic science investigators and clinicians from the spectrum of relevant disciplines and the rigorous application of appropriate research principles in designing studies to obtain further knowledge and to promote understanding of the various aspects of this condition.

Cavernosography measurement of the vascular pressure in the corpus cavernosum. Saline is infused under pressure into the corpus cavernosum with a butterfly needle, and the flow rate needed to maintain an erection indicates the degree of venous leakage. The leaking veins responsible may be visualized by infusing a mixture of saline and x-ray contrast medium and performing a cavernosogram.[20] In Digital Subtraction Angiography (DSA), the images are acquired digitally.
If PDE-5 inhibitors are not suitable or don’t work, other therapies include injections into the base of the penis, which cause flow of blood into the penis and a fairly immediate erection that lasts around an hour. The drugs injected are alprostadil (Caverject and Erectile dysfunctionex) and Invicorp (VIP and phentolamine). Alprostadil may also be inserted as a gel into the opening of the penis. This is not suitable if your partner is pregnant.
The most important organic causes of impotence are cardiovascular disease and diabetes, neurological problems (for example, trauma from prostatectomy surgery), hormonal insufficiencies (hypogonadism) and drug side effects. Psychological impotence is where erection or penetration fails due to thoughts or feelings (psychological reasons) rather than physical impossibility; this is somewhat less frequent but can often be helped. In psychological impotence, there is a strong response to placebo treatment.
Associated morbidity may include various other male sexual dysfunctions, such as premature (early) ejaculation and male hypoactive sexual desire disorder. The NHSLS found that 28.5% of men aged 18-59 years reported premature ejaculation, and 15.8% lacked sexual interest during the past year. An additional 17% reported anxiety about sexual performance, and 8.1% had a lack of pleasure in sex. [51]
There are many alternative impotence treatments available but many of them are neither licensed nor legitimate, Beware of sellers offering “herbal” impotence treatments - these remedies do not work and are often sold illegally. You should also be wary of online sellers who offer Viagra and other prescription drugs without asking you for a prescription. Illegal pharmacies often sell counterfeit or fake medication and buying from them could put your health at risk.
When sexually stimulated there is a release of a chemical, nitric oxide (NO) in the blood vessels of the corpus cavernosum. The NO stimulates the production of a compound called cGMP, which causes relaxation of the smooth muscle in the blood vessels supplying the corpus cavernosum. PDE 5 is an enzyme that breaks down cGMP. By inhibiting the breakdown of cGMP by PDE5, these medications allow cGMP to build up in the penis. cGMP causes muscles in the corpora cavernosa of the penis to relax. When the muscle is relaxed, more blood can flow into the penis and fill the spaces in the penis. As the penis fills with blood, the veins in the penis are compressed, and this results a hard erection. When the effect on PDE5 decreases, the cGMP levels go down and the muscle in the penis contracts, causing less blood to flow into the penis and allowing the veins to open up and drain blood out of the penis.
Diabetes is an example of an endocrine disease that can cause a person to experience impotence. Diabetes affects the body’s ability to utilize the hormone insulin. One of the side effects associated with chronic diabetes is nerve damage. This affects penis sensations. Other complications associated with diabetes are impaired blood flow and hormone levels. Both of these factors can contribute to impotence.
By contrast, psychogenic impotence typically is abrupt in onset, often in relation to psychological trauma, and may wax and wane. Patients with psychogenic impotence may have total erectile failure with one partner but not another, or be impotent during sexual intercourse but not during self-stimulation. Normally occurring spontaneous erections in the morning suggest psychogenic rather than organic causes for impotence.

Endocrine problems, though uncommon, should be considered in patients presenting with impotence. As a rule, impotence due to hypogonadism will be partial and accompanied by decreased libido. Hypothalmic–pituitary problems, which include tumors, are the most common endocrine disorders causing impotence, followed by primary gonadal failure from one of many causes. Poorly controlled diabetes with polyuria and polydypsia is an important reversible cause of impotence, as is hyperthyroidism. Certain drugs, alcohol included, can lead to impotence as a result of endocrine disturbances.

Another common problem for men who have trouble in the bedroom is substance use or abuse. In some cases, a man suffering from erectile dysfunction may be diagnosed with depression and be prescribed selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs. These medications may be able to assist in alleviating the symptoms of depression, but they can also lead to erectile dysfunction.
Conditions that may be associated with ED include diabetes, [25, 26, 27] hypertension, [28] , and CAD, as well as neurologic disorders, endocrinopathies, benign prostatic hyperplasia, [29] , sleep apnea [30] , COPD, [31] and depression (see Table 1 below). [32, 33, 34, 35] In fact, almost any disease may affect erectile function by altering the nervous, vascular, or hormonal systems. Various diseases may produce changes in the smooth muscle tissue of the corpora cavernosa or influence the patient’s psychological mood and behavior.

Obesity and metabolic syndrome can cause changes in blood pressure, body composition, and cholesterol which may lead to ED. Other conditions that may contribute to erectile dysfunction include Parkinson’s, multiple sclerosis, Peyronie’s disease, sleep disorders, alcoholism, and drug abuse. Taking certain medications can also increase your risk for ED.
Erectile dysfunction affects millions of men. Although for some men erectile function may not be the best or most important measure of sexual satisfaction, for many men erectile dysfunction creates mental stress that affects their interactions with family and associates. Many advances have occurred in both diagnosis and treatment of erectile dysfunction. However, its various aspects remain poorly understood by the general population and by most health care professionals. Lack of a simple definition, failure to delineate precisely the problem being assessed, and the absence of guidelines and parameters to determine assessment and treatment outcome and long-term results, have contributed to this state of affairs by producing misunderstanding, confusion, and ongoing concern. That results have not been communicated effectively to the public has compounded this situation.
Depression and anxiety: Psychological factors may be responsible for erectile dysfunction. These factors include stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, widower syndrome, low self-esteem, posttraumatic stress disorder, and fear of sexual failure (performance anxiety). It is also worth noting that many medications used for treatment of depression and other psychiatric disorders may cause erectile dysfunction or ejaculatory problems.
Your erection problems may be putting a strain on your relationship. You may have stopped touching and cuddling your partner, scared that it could lead to sex - and then to disappointment because you cannot get hard. You may have found it has led to regular arguments. At its worst, erection problems can lead to the breakdown of relationships. So it is vitally important to talk things over with your partner.
How men can improve their sexual performance Many men want to know how to enhance their own and their partners’ sexual satisfaction. However, placing too much emphasis on performance can lead to anxiety. Certain lifestyle changes can help to reduce sexual anxiety, improve erectile dysfunction, and increase stamina. In this article, we describe 13 methods to try. Read now
If surgical intervention is an acceptable option, the work-up then proceeds with a noctural penile tumescense (NPT) test, the single most valuable study to establish the diagnosis of organic impotence. The NPT test exploits the fact that males from birth to old age normally have erections during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Psychogenic impotence is associated with normal erections during sleep. In organic impotence there should be no evidence of erection or, if erections are present, they should be limited and poorly sustained.
Total testosterone levels: Health care professionals should obtain a patient's blood samples for total testosterone levels in the early morning (before 8 a.m.) because the testosterone levels go up and down throughout the day. If you have a low testosterone level, a health care professional should check it again to confirm that it is truly low. In some men, a specialized test measuring the active form of testosterone (free or bioavailable testosterone) may be recommended.
The inflatable type of device consists of cylinders that are implanted in the corpora cavernosa, a fluid reservoir implanted in the abdomen, and a pump placed in the scrotum. The man squeezes the pump to move fluid into the cylinders and cause them to become rigid. (He reverses the process by squeezing the pump again.) While these devices allow for intermittent erections, they have a slightly higher malfunction rate than the silicon rods.
In a prospective study from the Prostate Cancer Prevention Trial database, Thompson et al reported that men presenting with ED had a significantly higher chance of developing a cardiovascular event over a 7-year follow-up period. [55] The hazard ratio was 1.45, which is in the range of risk associated with current smoking or a family history of MI.
A good indicator that "everything is in working order" and that it is probably a psychological cause is if a “morning erection” is still experienced. Feelings like fear, anger, distress and anxiety cause part of the nervous system to come into play which directly blocks the action of another part of the system involved in creating an erection. This is a natural reaction – our ancestors would find it more difficult to run from a predator with an erection in the way!
Your like a lot of posters in forums. You make crazy statement's and weather you know it or not, your totaly wrong. Im 56 and my wife is 37. We have a good sex life and are always going at it when we can. I pity peeps like you and fig your kind of logic helps you deal with your inadequate performance. Get help or live alone and leave the keyboard alone.
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Uncooperative boners might be related to low testosterone, which could be caused by anything from being overweight or stressed to having a chronic health condition, says Paduch. And in men who have taken anabolic steroids, it's not uncommon for them to end up suppressing their natural testosterone production. If you abuse it over a long period of time, you can really mess with your natural testosterone levels, as well as your fertility and erectile function, he says.
My fear of this happening has prevented me from getting with girls who aren't randoms in fear that they'll tell people about it. I've been thinking that maybe I should pop a Viagra or something the next time I think I'm gonna get lucky, just to build my confidence a bit, but that's really my last resort. Is there any advice you guys might be able to give me here?
The most important organic causes of impotence are cardiovascular disease and diabetes, neurological problems (for example, trauma from prostatectomy surgery), hormonal insufficiencies (hypogonadism) and drug side effects. Psychological impotence is where erection or penetration fails due to thoughts or feelings (psychological reasons) rather than physical impossibility; this is somewhat less frequent but can often be helped. In psychological impotence, there is a strong response to placebo treatment.
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