He can follow the common general physical advice: Sleep well, eat well, exercise, and moderate or abstain from drinking and drugs. He can also visit the doctor to see if there’s any medical reason for his condition (anything from heart disease to diabetes and obesity). Sometimes, impotence is a side effect of prescription drugs. If his anxiety is extreme, it never hurts to see a professional therapist. Whenever there’s even a chance of a medical problem, my advice is always: Why not check with a professional?
It is important that physicians and other health care providers treating patients for chronic conditions periodically inquire into the sexual functioning of their patients and be prepared to offer counsel for those who experience erectile difficulties. Lack of sexual knowledge and anxiety about sexual performance are common contributing factors to erectile dysfunction. Education and reassurance may be helpful in preventing the cascade into serious erectile failure in individuals who experience minor erectile difficulty due to medications or common changes in erectile functioning associated with chronic illnesses or with aging.
Three days after Michael was found to have a dangerously blocked coronary artery, surgeons inserted a stent to prop the artery open. Now he is keen to get more men going to their doctor to be checked up. "When it comes to sex, people keep things to themselves. But this is an easy way to catch heart problems at an early stage and treat them before the worst happens."
In men of all ages, erectile failure may diminish willingness to initiate sexual relationships because of fear of inadequate sexual performance or rejection. Because males, especially older males, are particularly sensitive to the social support of intimate relationships, withdrawal from these relationships because of such fears may have a negative effect on their overall health.
Men with erectile dysfunction require diagnostic evaluations and treatments specific to their circumstances. Patient compliance as well as patient and partner desires and expectations are important considerations in the choice of a particular treatment approach. A multidisciplinary approach may be of great benefit in defining the problem and arriving at a solution.
Under normal circumstances, when a man is sexually stimulated, his brain sends a message down the spinal cord and into the nerves of the penis. The nerve endings in the penis release chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters, that signal the corpora cavernosa (the two spongy rods of tissue that span the length of the penis) to relax and fill with blood. As they expand, the corpora cavernosa close off other veins that would normally drain blood from the penis. As the penis becomes engorged with blood, it enlarges and stiffens, causing an erection. Problems with blood vessels, nerves, or tissues of the penis can interfere with an erection.

Fortunately, impotence is usually treatable. A thorough evaluation starting with a history and physical exam is needed to help diagnose the underlying cause. Once the cause of impotence is determined, treatment can be tailored to target that cause and any other contributing factors. Treatments used for impotence may include medications, vacuum devices, surgery, and psychotherapy.
Although not proven, it is likely that erectile dysfunction can be prevented by good general health, paying particular attention to body weight, exercise, and cigarette smoking. For example, heart disease and diabetes are problems that can cause erectile dysfunction, and both are preventable through lifestyle changes such as sensible eating and regular exercise. Furthermore, early diagnosis and treatment of associated conditions like diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol may prevent or delay erectile dysfunction, or stop the erectile dysfunction from getting more serious.
#9 Smokers hell. Bad stimulants such as smoking cigarettes may be having a negative impact on more than just your lungs. That’s right, smoking may lead to a lazy penis. One study shows that 40% of men that suffer from erectile dysfunction are smokers. The good news is that 75% of men reported erectile issues disappear after quitting smoking. What better motivation to quit smoking than having amazing sex? [Read: How to keep an erection up for longer in 20 ways]
The Prostate Cancer Prevention Trial was a landmark study by Thompson et al that prospectively assessed the time to developing CVD after the diagnosis of ED. There were 4247 men with no ED at study entry; 2420 developed incident ED (defined as the first report of ED of any grade) over 5 years. Those men that developed ED had a 1.45-fold higher probability of experiencing a CV event compared with men who did not develop ED.27
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I always made sure to satisfy my woman first, from the start of our marriage. When I started having issues with ED a few years ago, I talked to her about it and asked for her to be understanding and also that I needed a lot of the things sexually that she had not really given me much of, regardless of how much pampering or pleasing I did for her. She agreed, but never really stepped it up despite me talking to her about it every few weeks trying to salvage my own interest in sex. I had chased her constantly for over 10 years, then after the psychological effects of ED took their toll and she never really followed through helping me, my sex drive just tanked. I stopped chasing her, then after a little while she slowly started wanting it enough to initiate. Even then, she still wants the same sex as before, without the things I want being a regular part of it. My sex drive is still very low, and I still make an effort, but I can tell that my interest in sex is just deteriorating every time I have an ED episode and feel my desires being neglected. Each time, it just makes me less interested in continuing to try "serve" her because she does not return the favor much. The idea of spending so much effort doing "other stuff" while my wants and desires are barely recognized makes sex sound as exciting as mowing the yard to me now days.

Then you have to be able to make the right diagnosis. What is the basis for their erectile dysfunction? Is it psychogenic? Is it some sort of neurological or blood vessel or hormonal issue? So you have to make a diagnosis. You have to be able to make an assessment. And then only after those things are done, then you start to think about medications.
Erectile dysfunction can have so many long-lasting effects that the inability to achieve an erection is almost the least of them. Men who suffer from erectile dysfunction often suffer from self-esteem concerns, and these can then translate into issues regarding sexual relationships, friendships, and even work-related relationships. As things begin to spiral out of control, men dealing with erectile dysfunction may go on to suffer from depression, anxiety, and other psychological problems that further inhibit relationship and sexual intimacy. So what is it that’s causing this mess?
When stimulated by the nerves, the spongy tissue arranges itself in such a way that more blood can be stored in the penis. The veins running through the outer sheath of the penis then compress which stops the blood from leaving the penis. As the blood is stopped from flowing out, the penis fills with blood and stretches within the outer casing, giving an erection.
In other words, there are dozens of reasons he might not be getting it up, which have absolutely nothing to do with your relationship. Honestly, there's just no way for me to give you specific advice here. If it's a serious problem, you should encourage him to check in with his primary care physician first, and then, perhaps, a therapist, in the nicest way possible.

The common PDE5 inhibitor drugs approved in the United States are sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra and Staxyn, the generic form), tadalafil (Cialis), or avanafil (Stendra). All of the currently approved PDE5 inhibitors work in the same way. They differ in the number of available doses, how quickly they work and last in your system, the dosing, and to some extent in the side effects. However, they generally share the same indications and contraindications. Currently, tadalafil is the only medication that patients can take on a daily basis and is approved for the treatment of both ED and BPH (benign enlargement of the prostate).

In their extensive review, Bassil and coworkers summarise the benefits and risks, with benefits such as improvement of sexual function, bone density, muscle strength, cognition and overall improvement in quality of life. Among the risks that have been suggested include erythrocytosis, liver toxicity, worsening of sleep apnoea and cardiac function, possibly increasing symptoms of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH). They also note that although a possibility of stimulation of prostate cancer has been hypothesised, no scientific or clinical evidence exists to this possible risk.38
Stress is another factor that can be a cause or effect of ED. If you're stressed at work, at home, and in your relationships, it's going to take a toll on your sexual function. Your mind is elsewhere, and relaxing when you finally make it between the sheets is a long shot. Now you’re stressed because you can’t get it up (talk about the ultimate catch-22), so you're stuck in this sad, frustrating cycle. “ED really affects the psyche of a guy, regardless of the etiology, Gittens says. “If you have a problem getting an erection one night, you’re probably going to be anxious and worried your partner might see you as less of a man the next time you try to get an erection.” There's a pill that will help with this, and it's not promoted on television with middle-aged men in sports cars. It's a damn chill pill.
Some men should not take PDE5 inhibitors. They can cause hypotension (abnormally low blood pressure that can lead to fainting and even shock) when given to patients who are taking nitrates (medications taken for heart disease). Therefore, patients taking nitrates daily should not take any of the PDE5 inhibitors. Nitrates relieve angina (chest pain due to insufficient blood supply to the heart muscle because of narrowing of the coronary arteries); these include nitroglycerine tablets, patches, ointments, sprays, and pastes, as well as isosorbide dinitrate and isosorbide mononitrate. Other nitrates such as amyl nitrate and butyl nitrate also are in some recreational drugs called "poppers."
The causes of erectile dysfunction include aging, high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, cigarette smoking, atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries), depression, nerve or spinal cord damage, medication side effects, alcoholism or other substance (drug) abuse, pelvic surgery including radical prostatectomy, pelvic radiation, penile/perineal/pelvic trauma such as pelvic fracture, Peyronie's disease (a disorder that causes curvature of the penis and sometimes painful erections), and low testosterone levels.
Diabetes is an example of an endocrine disease that can cause a person to experience impotence. Diabetes affects the body’s ability to utilize the hormone insulin. One of the side effects associated with chronic diabetes is nerve damage. This affects penis sensations. Other complications associated with diabetes are impaired blood flow and hormone levels. Both of these factors can contribute to impotence.
In addition to Viagra, other ED drugs available in the United States include avanafil (Stendra), tadalafil (Cialis) and vardenafil (Levitra). These all improve blood supply to the penis. In combination with sexual stimulation, the drugs can produce an erection sufficient to initiate and complete intercourse. There is also a fast-dissolving form of Levitra, called Staxyn, that you put under your tongue.
It appears that testosterone has NOS-independent pathways as well. In one study, castrated rats were implanted with testosterone pellets and then divided into a group that received an NOS inhibitor (L-nitro-L-arginine methyl ester [L-NAME]) and a control group that received no enzyme. [24] The castrated rats that were given testosterone pellets and L-NAME still had partial erections, a result suggesting the presence of a pathway independent of NOS activity.
So what can you do to help things along a little?  Well, chances are it may sort itself out as you settle in to your relationship. But if it keeps happening and you see a future in the relationship, you need to talk about it, or it will soon become the elephant in the bedroom. Pick a time with no distractions and where nobody can overhear you. Tell them that you care about them and that you don’t need to rush things sexually. This can take the pressure off the need to perform. 
As blood flows into the penis, the corpora cavernosa swell, and this swelling compresses the veins (blood vessels that drain the blood out of the penis) against the tunica albuginea. Compression of the veins prevents blood from leaving the penis. This creates a hard erection. When the amount of cGMP decreases by the action of a chemical called phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5), the muscles in the penis tighten, and the blood flow into the penis decreases. With less blood coming into the penis, the veins are not compressed, allowing blood to drain out of the penis, and the erection goes down.
Besides treating the underlying causes such as potassium deficiency or arsenic contamination of drinking water, the first line treatment of erectile dysfunction consists of a trial of PDE5 inhibitor (such as sildenafil). In some cases, treatment can involve prostaglandin tablets in the urethra, injections into the penis, a penile prosthesis, a penis pump or vascular reconstructive surgery.[1]
Prevention of some of the causes that contribute to the development of erectile dysfunction can decrease the chances of developing the problem. For example, if a person decreases their chances of developing diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension, they will decrease their chances of developing erectile dysfunction. Other things like stopping smoking, eating a healthy diet (heart healthy with adequate vitamin intake), and exercising daily may reduce a person's risk.
Organic impotence refers to the inability to obtain an erection firm enough for vaginal penetration, or the inability to sustain the erection until completion of intercourse. In contrast to psychogenic impotence, which is impotence caused by anxiety, guilt, depression, or conflict around various sexual issues, organic impotence, the more common of the two categories of erectile dysfunction, is caused by physical problems. Ten to 20% of middle-aged men and a much higher percentage of elderly men are impotent. Aside from its importance as a common and distressing sexual problem, organic impotence may herald important medical problems.
The trouble is, most people don't know that sexual dysfunction can be a warning sign of something more serious. Dr Graham Jackson, a cardiologist and the chairman of the Sexual Advice Association, would like to change that. "People aren't aware of the underlying causes of their problems because they feel well otherwise," he says. "They'll say, 'It's my age' or 'I'm nervous because I'm in a new relationship.' But every man with erectile dysfunction should have their heart and blood pressure checked."

If you have unstable heart disease of any kind, heart failure or unstable, what we call angina, contraindication to using the medications. All right? So if you’re in an unstable medical state, these medications are not a good idea. Now, there are relative issues. If you may be taking a blood pressure medicine or a medicine for your prostate which dilates your blood vessel a little bit– you know, the typical ones are what we call the alpha blockers– you may have an additive effect from the medication. But for the most part, the medicines are incredibly safe.
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