Thanks for your question, Frightened Turtle! To help answer it, we spoke with Dr. Darius Paduch, urologist and male sexual medicine specialist at New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center, and sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., director of The Intimacy Institute for sex and relationship therapy in Boulder, Colorado. Here's what they had to say:
Physicians make a diagnosis of erectile dysfunction in men who complain of troubles having a hard enough erection or a hard erection that does not last long enough. It is important as you talk with your doctor that you be candid in terms of when your troubles started, how bothersome your erectile dysfunction is, how severe it is, and discuss all your medical conditions along with all prescribed and nonprescribed medications that you are taking. Your doctor will ask several questions to determine if your symptoms are suggestive of erectile dysfunction and to assess its severity and possible causes. Your doctor will try to get information to answer the following questions:
In the meantime, make sure he gets some rest and takes it easy. The more you two stress about it — and the more pressure he feels you are putting on him — the harder it will get for him to get hard, in all likelihood. So take a few days off. Relax, be patient, and help him find him some help if he needs it. In the meantime, here's a Cosmopolitan.com guide about exactly this topic from sex therapist Dr. Jane Greer.
ED is often the result of atherosclerosis, and as a result, men with ED frequently have cardiovascular disease. Sexual activity is associated with increased physical exertion, which in some men may increase the risk of having a heart attack (myocardial infarction or MI). The major risk factors associated with cardiovascular disease are age, hypertension, diabetes mellitus, obesity, smoking, abnormal lipid/cholesterol levels in the blood, and lack of exercise. Individuals with three or more of these risk factors are at increased risk for a heart attack during sexual activity. The Princeton Consensus Panel developed guidelines for treating ED in men with cardiovascular disease. Thus, if you have ED and cardiovascular disease (for example, angina or prior heart attack), you should discuss whether or not treatment of ED and sexual activity are appropriate for you.

Psychological Causes of ED – Between 10% and 20% of ED cases have a psychological cause. Because arousal starts in the brain, psychological issues can be a significant contributing factor to erectile dysfunction. Mental health conditions like depression or anxiety can negatively impact your libido, making it more difficult for you to become aroused.

The observation that TRT enhances the efficacy of PDE5 inhibitors in hypogonadal men taking these therapies with suboptimal response to the PDE5 inhibitors alone has been reported.33 In addition, investigators have demonstrated that TRT in hypogonadal men can improve erectile function even without the benefit of PDE5 inhibitors.33 In addition, guidelines for managing ED in hypogonadal men by the European Association of Urology recommend controlling the man to a eugonadal state prior to initiation of PDE5 inhibitor therapy.36 Testosterone measurement consists of a serum specimen which should be ideally obtained in the morning because of the normal diurnal variation of testosterone which is at its peak in the morning. Since TRT is relatively safe, and men can potentially see an improvement in erectile function, it seems prudent to consider this issue when presented with a patient suffering from ED.

In men, erectile dysfunction can be defined as being a persistent inability to get or keep an erection that is firm enough to attain sexual satisfaction. It should not be confused with the occasional incident when this occurs, which is an experience common to the vast majority of men for various reasons. These can include having had too much alcohol to drink, being overly-anxious about a new sexual partner, or being worried about current events in your life. The issue would only be classed as Erectile Dysfunction if it keeps happening again and again. Again, an erection once attained should be hard enough and last long enough to be satisfactory. Other conditions, like premature ejaculation, may interfere in this process but these are different problems, and would be treated differently.


In other words, there are dozens of reasons he might not be getting it up, which have absolutely nothing to do with your relationship. Honestly, there's just no way for me to give you specific advice here. If it's a serious problem, you should encourage him to check in with his primary care physician first, and then, perhaps, a therapist, in the nicest way possible.
Long-term predictions based on an aging population and an increase in risk factors (eg, hypertension, diabetes, vascular disease, pelvic and prostate surgery, benign prostatic hyperplasia, and lower urinary tract symptoms) suggest a large increase in the number of men with ED. In addition, the prevalence of ED is underestimated because physicians frequently do not question their patients about this disorder.
Because of the difficulty in defining the clinical entity of erectile dysfunction, there have been a variety of entry criteria for patients in therapeutic trials. Similarly, the ability to assess efficacy of therapeutic interventions is impaired by the lack of clear and quantifiable criteria of erectile dysfunction. General considerations for treatment follow:
Yes, the vacuum device is effective. In fact, with use of the vacuum device, 88% of men will have an erection that is satisfactory for completion of sexual activity. The vacuum device may be the only therapy that is effective after the removal of a penile prosthesis. Patients also use vacuum devices as part of penile rehabilitation after radical prostatectomy to help preserve the tissue of the penis and prevent scarring within the penis and loss of penile length. Its use, however, is limited by the mechanical nature of it and the time taken to pump the device and apply the band. Sex partners may complain of the penis being cool to touch.
3. Are there physical causes of erectile dysfunction? Erectile dysfunction may be a symptom of underlying medical conditions, which if not detected may cause further medical problems. A prior history of cigarette smoking, heart attacks, strokes, and poor circulation in the extremities (for example, intermittent claudication or cramping in your leg[s] when you walk) suggest atherosclerosis as the cause of the erectile dysfunction. Loss of sexual desire and drive, lack of sexual fantasies, gynecomastia (enlargement of breasts), and diminished facial hair suggest low testosterone levels. A prior history of pelvic surgery or radiation and trauma to the penis/pelvis/perineum can cause problems with the nerves and blood vessels. Symptoms of intermittent claudication of the lower extremities with exercise may suggest a vascular problem as a cause of the erectile dysfunction.

It is normal for a man to have five to six erections during sleep, especially during rapid eye movement (REM). Their absence may indicate a problem with nerve function or blood supply in the penis. There are two methods for measuring changes in penile rigidity and circumference during nocturnal erection: snap gauge and strain gauge. A significant proportion of men who have no sexual dysfunction nonetheless do not have regular nocturnal erections.


After the history, physical examination, and laboratory testing, a clinical impression can be obtained of a primarily psychogenic, organic, or mixed etiology for erectile dysfunction. Patients with primary or associated psychogenic factors may be offered further psychologic evaluation, and patients with endocrine abnormalities may be referred to an endocrinologist to evaluate the possibility of a pituitary lesion or hypogonadism. Unless previously diagnosed, suspicion of neurologic deficit may be further assessed by complete neurologic evaluation. No further diagnostic tests appear necessary for those patients who favor noninvasive treatment (e.g., vacuum constrictive devices, or pharmacologic injection therapy). Patients who do not respond satisfactorily to these noninvasive treatments may be candidates for penile implant surgery or further diagnostic testing for possible additional invasive therapies.
As is true in so many medical conditions, lifestyle modifications, considered first-line therapy, can have a salutary effect in ED management, and men should be encouraged to make the necessary changes to the benefit of their sexual function and to their overall health as well. Despite the benefits of behaviour modification, men presenting with ED want the physician to help with measures that can have an immediate impact.
Among their findings, the panel concluded that (1) the term "erectile dysfunction" should replace the term "impotence"; (2) the likelihood of erectile dysfunction increases with age but is not an inevitable consequence of aging; (3) embarrassment of patients and reluctance of both patients and health care providers to discuss sexual matters candidly contribute to underdiagnosis of erectile dysfunction; (4) many cases of erectile dysfunction can be successfully managed with appropriately selected therapy; (5) the diagnosis and treatment of erectile dysfunction must be specific and responsive to the individual patient's needs and that compliance as well as the desires and expectations of both the patient and partner are important considerations in selecting appropriate therapy; (6) education of health care providers and the public on aspects of human sexuality, sexual dysfunction, and the availability of successful treatments is essential; and (7) erectile dysfunction is an important public health problem deserving of increased support for basic science investigation and applied research.
Watts and coworkers, in their review article, make several points about this ED/CAD nexus. Endothelial dysfunction is present in both CVD and ED, and is linked through the NO mechanism. The authors note that PDE5 inhibitors improve endothelial function and have a salutary effect on both CVD and ED. Both ED and cardiac disease respond to modifications in lifestyle as well as pharmacologic manipulation. These authors also report that the presence of ED gives the clinician an opportunity to assess CVD and prevention as well.20
Since endothelial dysfunction, CVD and ED are closely associated in epidemiological studies, the question for clinicians is whether to recommend the man presenting with ED undergo a cardiovascular (CV) evaluation. Clearly, based on numerous studies, ED can be considered at least a ‘marker’ for possible further vascular disease or CVD.15 In their report, Vlachopoulos and coworkers make the point that the man presenting with ED, the clinician, is offered an opportunity to attempt to improve the health of the man by addressing lifestyle modification, and consider further vascular evaluation owing to the clear relationship between endothelial dysfunction, ED and CVD.19
The mood is set, the wine is drunk, and you’re ready to go. Only one problem, despite wanting to have sex, your penis doesn’t seem quite up to the task. Trouble keeping an erection is often depicted as a problem for older men, but factors other than age can affect a man’s ability to have and keep an erection. Here are 6 reasons why you or your partner may have trouble with their erections.
This inflatable penile prosthesis has 3 major components. The 2 cylinders are placed within the corpora cavernosa, a reservoir is placed beneath the rectus muscle, and the pump is placed in the scrotum. When the pump is squeezed, fluid from the reservoir is transferred into the 2 cylinders, producing a firm erection. The deflation mechanism is also located on the pump and differs by manufacturer.

What’s important to take away from this is that, because erections can occur throughout the day for no reason, erectile dysfunction can be difficult to diagnose. Some men achieve erections for no reason, yet when provided with stimuli, they aren’t able to. Some men, on the other hand, only get aroused when directly stimulated. This means that healthcare professionals need to take into account many variables prior to diagnosing and treating erectile dysfunction.


The more you puff, the more you put your penis at risk, according to a study from the Tulane University School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine. The researchers examined 7,684 men between the ages of 35-74 and concluded about 23 percent of erectile dysfunction cases can be chalked up to cigarette smoking. This is probably the best motivator If you've been struggling to quit. 

Now, there are lots of ways that you can reduce stress and anxiety in your life. One of those things you can do is exercising daily. Now, it doesn’t mean getting into a gym all the time, but it can just be doing sit-ups at home, long walks at the grocery store, bicycling, and if you can afford the gym, getting there maybe two to three days a week. But don’t forget, a healthy body equals a healthy mind. Meditation, yoga, breathing exercises– now, here’s where you can take a few moments to be centered and communicate with your inner self, peace. Healthy eating– now, taking control of the intake of what goes into your body makes you to start feeling better and looking better. That wellness is the opposite of anxiety. And treating issues and tackling things that are weighing you down, taking that very first step is liberating.
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