For the past few months I’ve been dating a lovely man but our relationship is at risk because he can’t get it up. He says he fancies me and always seems turned on. Sometimes he gets hard - but when we try for sex he loses his erection. On the few occasions he has got hard, he doesn’t orgasm. I’ve always been a very sexual person and would like a lot of sex. We’re hardly having any. I find it difficult to orgasm even if he tries other things because I keep thinking. Why can’t he have proper sex with me?

The rumors are true. Having too much to drink can interfere with a man’s ability to have an erection. According to Everyday Health, alcohol is a depressant. This means that, along with dampening your ability to think, speak, and move efficiently, it can also dampen mood, decrease sexual desire, and make it difficult for a man to achieve erection or reach an orgasm. This is because alcohol decreases blood flow to the penis. That not only may reduce a man’s ability to have an erection, but even if he is lucky enough to get it hard, alcohol can reduce the intensity of his orgasm.

Vacuum constriction devices may be effective at generating and maintaining erections in many patients with erectile dysfunction and these appear to have a low incidence of side effects. As with intracavernosal injection therapy, there is a significant rate of patient dropout with these devices, and the reasons for this phenomenon are unclear. The devices are difficult for some patients to use, and this is especially so in those with impaired manual dexterity. Also, these devices may impair ejaculation, which can then cause some discomfort. Patients and their partners sometimes are bothered by the lack of spontaneity in sexual relations that may occur with this procedure. The patient is sometimes also bothered by the general discomfort that can occur while using these devices. Partner involvement in training with these devices may be important for successful outcome, especially in regard to establishing a mutually satisfying level of sexual activity.
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Erections are more complicated than you think. Your brain, nerves, heart, blood vessels, and a whole lot of hormones have to work together perfectly or nothing happens. It’s a lot to ask, and sometimes things break down. And while ED happens to most guys at some point in their lives, erectile dysfunction isn’t something you can just ignore and hope it goes away.

This content is provided as a service of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK), part of the National Institutes of Health. The NIDDK translates and disseminates research findings through its clearinghouses and education programs to increase knowledge and understanding about health and disease among patients, health professionals, and the public. Content produced by the NIDDK is carefully reviewed by NIDDK scientists and other experts.
With sex therapy, your counselor looks at the sexual problems you and your partner are having. Sex therapy works with problems such as performance anxiety, which means that you worry so much about whether you will be able to have sex that you are not able to. It also helps when you have erection problems that are not due to physical or drug problems, or premature ejaculation (you come too quickly). It may help you to reach orgasm or to learn to relax enough to avoid pain during sex. Counseling can help you to adjust to the treatment you and your doctor choose.
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This content is provided as a service of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK), part of the National Institutes of Health. The NIDDK translates and disseminates research findings through its clearinghouses and education programs to increase knowledge and understanding about health and disease among patients, health professionals, and the public. Content produced by the NIDDK is carefully reviewed by NIDDK scientists and other experts.
Stress is another factor that can be a cause or effect of ED. If you're stressed at work, at home, and in your relationships, it's going to take a toll on your sexual function. Your mind is elsewhere, and relaxing when you finally make it between the sheets is a long shot. Now you’re stressed because you can’t get it up (talk about the ultimate catch-22), so you're stuck in this sad, frustrating cycle. “ED really affects the psyche of a guy, regardless of the etiology, Gittens says. “If you have a problem getting an erection one night, you’re probably going to be anxious and worried your partner might see you as less of a man the next time you try to get an erection.” There's a pill that will help with this, and it's not promoted on television with middle-aged men in sports cars. It's a damn chill pill.

Picture the scene. You get home from the bar with your date. You both decided to leave a little early, after only two drinks, because the chemistry was really there and both of you wanted to cut to the chase and get intimate. To discover each other's bodies. To eat of the fruits of passion. In short, to have sex. You stick the key in the lock, swing the door open, and invite her into your beautiful place. OK, well it might not be exactly beautiful. It might be a bit of a mess, frankly. But you don't let that ruin the moment. You turn around and passionately kiss her. How the two of you make it to your bedroom with some clothing still on is anybody's guess. You jump on the bed and hurriedly strip. God — can't this go any faster, you wonder? 
Q. I started to suffer from erectile dysfunction? Why is this happening and what can I do to treat it? I am a healthy 52 year old. I have hypertension but i take pills to treat it and my levels are around 130/80. except that I am at great shape. In the last few months I feel that a problem in my sex life. I want to have sex but i can't due to erectile dysfunction. What can be the reason for this? and more important what can I do?
Constriction of the trabecular smooth muscle and helicine arteries induced by sympathetic innervation makes the penis flaccid, with blood pressure in the cavernosal sinuses of the penis near venous pressure. Acetylcholine is thought to decrease sympathetic tone. This may be important in a permissive sense for adequate trabecular smooth muscle relaxation and consequent effective action of other mediators in achieving sufficient inflow of blood into the lacunar spaces. When the trabecular smooth muscle relaxes and helicine arteries dilate in response to parasympathetic stimulation and decreased sympathetic tone, increased blood flow fills the cavernous spaces, increasing the pressure within these spaces so that the penis becomes erect. As the venules are compressed against the tunica albuginea, penile pressure approaches arterial pressure, causing rigidity. Once this state is achieved, arterial inflow is reduced to a level that matches venous outflow.
Having erection trouble from time to time isn't necessarily a cause for concern. If erectile dysfunction is an ongoing issue, however, it can cause stress, affect your self-confidence and contribute to relationship problems. Problems getting or keeping an erection can also be a sign of an underlying health condition that needs treatment and a risk factor for heart disease.
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