Let’s admit that not “talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable” is a sure-fire recipe for total disaster. Maybe you’re exaggerating, but if he can’t deal with anything even slightly difficult, then that is a bigger problem than pillow talk. Think about how exactly it would affect everything else in your relationship. He can’t choose not to deal. When good things are happening, it’s a shame he can’t say "I love you0". But when hard things happen, he can’t just say: "Um, pass."
Whatever happens, remember there are still ways you can have fun and be intimate even if your partner can’t get an erection. Exchanging sexy texts, reading erotic literature, and indulging in sensual massage can all help to relax, inspire and increase intimacy. Of course, every couple is different and it may take a while to find out what works for you.
Many factors can contribute to sexual dysfunction in older men, including physical and psychological conditions, comorbidities and the medications used to treat them. Aspects of an ageing man’s lifestyle and behaviour and androgen deficiency, most often decreasing testosterone levels, may affect sexual function as well. A study of men between the ages of 30 and 79 years showed that 24% had testosterone levels below 300 ng/dL and 5.6% had symptomatic androgen deficiency.2
Risks associated with injection therapy including bleeding, pain with injection, penile pain, priapism, and corporal fibrosis (scarring inside of the corpora cavernosa). There is also concern that repetitive injections in the same area could cause scar tissue to build up in the tunica albuginea that could create penile curvature. Thus, doctors recommended that one alternate sides with injection and perform injections no more frequent than every other day.
This penile tumescence monitor is placed at the base and near the corona of the penis. It is connected to a monitor that records a continuous graph depicting the force and duration of erections that occur during sleep. The monitor is strapped to the leg. The nocturnal penile tumescence test is conducted on several nights to obtain an accurate indication of erections that normally occur during the alpha phase of sleep.
That means that as an adult, you need to activate the opposing parasympathetic system through sexually exciting visuals, thoughts and touches to get an erection going. But this nerve transmission is disrupted if you're stressed, anxious or distracted. The latter because you simply don't develop enough total stimulation of your genitals to get an erection, and the former because stress and anxiety all increase adrenaline – a key transmitter in the inhibiting sympathetic nervous system. They quite literally sabotage your erection.
Yohimbine: The main component of an African tree bark, yohimbine is probably one of the most problematic of all natural remedies for ED. Some research suggests that yohimbine can improve a type of sexual dysfunction that is linked with a drug used to treat depression. However, studies have linked yohimbine to a number of side effects, which can include anxiety, increased blood pressure, and a fast, irregular heartbeat. Like all natural remedies, yohimbine should only be used after advice and under supervision from a doctor.
Additionally, the physiologic processes involving erections begin at the genetic level. Certain genes become activated at critical times to produce proteins vital to sustaining this pathway. Some researchers have focused on identifying particular genes that place men at risk for ED. At present, these studies are limited to animal models, and little success has been reported to date.  Nevertheless, this research has given rise to many new treatment targets and a better understanding of the entire process.
Following a detailed discussion about the history of erectile dysfunction and its risk factors, your doctor will examine the testicles and penis to help determine the cause of erectile dysfunction. Your doctor will check reflexes and pulses in the area to see if problems with blood vessels or nerves are contributing to the erectile dysfunction. If necessary, your doctor will order tests to help diagnose erectile dysfunction.
Erectile dysfunction is often assumed to be a natural concomitant of the aging process, to be tolerated along with other conditions associated with aging. This assumption may not be entirely correct. For the elderly and for others, erectile dysfunction may occur as a consequence of specific illnesses or of medical treatment for certain illnesses, resulting in fear, loss of image and self-confidence, and depression.
Men who wear tight underwear may also experience the same problems. Because of the constriction, feeling may be lost, and even if unnoticed actively, the brain will notice. This is part of the complication with erectile dysfunction between the brain and the body. While you may be in the mood, if the proper electrical signals are not sent back and forth, nothing will happen.
Patient can inject medications directly into the corpora cavernosa to help attain and maintain erections. Medications such as papaverine hydrochloride, phentolamine, and prostaglandin E1 (alprostadil) can be used alone or in combinations to attain erections. All of these medications are vasodilators and work by increasing blood flow into the penis. Prostaglandin E1 (Caverject, Edex) is easier to obtain; however, it is associated with penile pain in some individuals. The use of combinations of two or three of these medications can decrease the risk of having penile pain.
Physicians make a diagnosis of erectile dysfunction in men who complain of troubles having a hard enough erection or a hard erection that does not last long enough. It is important as you talk with your doctor that you be candid in terms of when your troubles started, how bothersome your erectile dysfunction is, how severe it is, and discuss all your medical conditions along with all prescribed and nonprescribed medications that you are taking. Your doctor will ask several questions to determine if your symptoms are suggestive of erectile dysfunction and to assess its severity and possible causes. Your doctor will try to get information to answer the following questions:
Most of us are raised to believe that men are ravenous sex-beasts, eternally horny and only pretending to be a part of polite society so that they can find some new crevice to jam their Jeremy Irons into. So the first time we cross paths (and genitals) with a guy who can't get an erection, many of us immediately panic and assume that the problem must be us. We must be profoundly unsexy. After all, what could else possibly stop these hormone-addled maniacs from getting an erection?
As a retired police Sgt. Mid 50's I always had a few anxiety or medicine related ED' s but those were women that didn't matter and I always made sure to have a laugh and good time. Now Been with one great women 16 years. Now I'm heavy, drink more than I should, take pain med for chronic pain and watch tv. Anyone here recognize this. how about those recreational drugs I don't do. Before complaining do what I just started. Lose weight, stop reading this and shut off the tv, STOP smoking, go to the Dr. Get blood work done, talk to someone even or especially your better half, talk to and trust your Dr. Trust me, he's heard much worse. Trust that inner voice or gut, it's there for you. And mostly stop saying what about me and my winky, and take care of the other one who loves, cleans, sleeps and whatever else he/she does For u. This won't work for all but I know somehow it will help... AND YOU MIGHT BE DAMN SURPRISED!!!
The Cancer of the Prostate Strategic Urologic Research Endeavor (CaPSURE) study, designed to determine whether an individual man’s sexual outcomes after most common treatments for early-stage prostate cancer could be accurately predicted on the basis of baseline characteristics and treatment plans, found that 2 years after treatment, 177 (35%) of 511 men who underwent prostatectomy reported the ability to attain functional erections suitable for intercourse. 
An alprostadil cream that patients apply into the tip of the penis (the urethral meatus, the opening that urine passes through) is currently available in the UK and Europe. It is currently under review by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). After application of the cream, an erection occurs within five to 30 minutes, and the erection lasts one to two hours in men who respond to the cream. Doctors recommend that one use the cream for a maximum frequency of two to three times per week and no more frequent than once every 24 hours. It has essentially the same contraindications and side effects as the other formulations of alprostadil. The cream may cause vaginal burning in roughly 4% of partners. Men should not use alprostadil cream for sexual intercourse with women of childbearing potential unless a condom is used. Researchers have performed controlled trial studies to evaluate the safety and effectiveness of this drug. Overall, 52% of men reported improvement in their erections compared to 20% of men receiving placebo. A later analysis demonstrated that 36% of men using the alprostadil cream had a clinically relevant improvement in vaginal penetration ability and 31% clinically relevant improvement in ability to have successful intercourse to ejaculation.
The drugs are worth trying, but don’t expect miracles. Everyone has heard of Viagra, but Cialis is actually more popular because it’s effective longer—24 to 36 hours instead of three to five. Erection drugs improve erections in around two-thirds of men. They don’t work for about one-third. When they work, they do not produce porn-star erections. Over time, many men need larger doses. But as dosage increases, side effects become more likely, notably, headache and nasal congestion. Finally, the drugs have no effect on arousal, so men may raise erections but don't feel particularly interested in sex. Many men feel disappointed with the drugs. Fewer than half refill their prescriptions.
It's definitely possible that your boner isn't cooperating because it's not really thrilled to be there. Maybe you're not sure about this partner, you're worried about pregnancy or STIs, you're not feeling comfortable with an unfamiliar hookup, or you typically need some other kind of stimulus to get in the mood. It's always worth checking in with yourself to see if one of these factors might be holding you back in bed, says Skyler. If you have a hunch that it's because you're doing something you don't want to do (or you're not doing something you do want to do) pay attention to that hunch.
ED usually has a multifactorial etiology. Organic, physiologic, endocrine, and psychogenic factors are involved in the ability to obtain and maintain erections. In general, ED is divided into 2 broad categories, organic and psychogenic. Although most ED was once attributed to psychological factors, pure psychogenic ED is in fact uncommon; however, many men with organic etiologies may also have an associated psychogenic component.
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Aging: There are two reasons why older men are more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than younger men. First, older men are more likely to develop diseases (such as heart attacks, angina, cardiovascular disease, strokes, diabetes mellitus, and high blood pressure) that are associated with erectile dysfunction. Second, the aging process alone can cause erectile dysfunction in some men by causing changes in the muscle and tissue within the penis.
Measurement of the penile vibration perception threshold provides an inexpensive, reproducible, and painless screening test with acceptable sensitivity for detecting neuropathy. Abnormalities at the level of the sacral cord can be documented by sacral latency testing, while upper motor neuron impotence can be demonstrated with genital-cerebral evoked response testing. These latter procedures are not indicated in unselected patients with impotence.
#9 Smokers hell. Bad stimulants such as smoking cigarettes may be having a negative impact on more than just your lungs. That’s right, smoking may lead to a lazy penis. One study shows that 40% of men that suffer from erectile dysfunction are smokers. The good news is that 75% of men reported erectile issues disappear after quitting smoking. What better motivation to quit smoking than having amazing sex? [Read: How to keep an erection up for longer in 20 ways]
The pathogenesis of organic ED is related to dysfunction of the endothelium. Endothelial cells can become injured through a variety of mechanisms, most of which cause oxidative stress on the tissues. Many of these causes of oxidative stress are related to lifestyle issues which lead to hypertension, diabetes and dyslipidaemia (figure 1). Endothelial cell dysfunction results in reduction of endothelium-dependent vasorelaxation as well as increased adhesion of leukocytes to the endothelium. Endothelial cell injury then leads to a variety of sequelae, including ED, other types of vasoconstriction, atherosclerosis and thrombus formation.18
Me? I'm in my 60's and never had ED, not even once. And never failed to have a good orgasm with sexual activity. Unfortunately, I think it has created too much of a contrast to my wife, who has never had an orgasm, and now in menopause has given up and won't even let me touch her sexually (hugging and kissing is fine, but that's as far as she'll let me go).
Conditions that may be associated with ED include diabetes, [25, 26, 27] hypertension,  , and CAD, as well as neurologic disorders, endocrinopathies, benign prostatic hyperplasia,  , sleep apnea  , COPD,  and depression (see Table 1 below). [32, 33, 34, 35] In fact, almost any disease may affect erectile function by altering the nervous, vascular, or hormonal systems. Various diseases may produce changes in the smooth muscle tissue of the corpora cavernosa or influence the patient’s psychological mood and behavior.
Is your erectile dysfunction due to psychological (stress, relationship problems, etc.) or physical factors? Your doctor may ask if you note erections at night or in the early morning. Men have involuntary erections in the early morning and during REM sleep (a stage in the sleep cycle with rapid eye movements). Men with psychogenic erectile dysfunction (erectile dysfunction due to psychological factors such as stress and anxiety rather than physical factors) usually maintain these involuntary erections. Men with physical causes of erectile dysfunction (for example, atherosclerosis, smoking, and diabetes) usually do not have these involuntary erections. Men with psychogenic erectile dysfunction may relate the onset of problems to a "stressor," such as failed relationship. Your doctor may suggest a test to determine if you have erections during sleep, which may suggest that there may be a psychological cause of the erectile dysfunction.
#4 You’re just plain turned off. It happens. Whether it’s the weight your partner has put on, the realization that you’re having period sex, or you’re just not getting what you need in the bedroom, at some point in your life, you’re going to be turned off enough to lose *or be unable to attain* your hard-on. [Read: Not attracted to your girlfriend anymore? The why and the fixes]
Diet can also affect a man’s ability to achieve or maintain an erection. As stated, men who indulge in alcohol may have trouble with erections, but men who have poor diets, suffer from diabetes, or who are overweight can also restrict blood flow to the penis or suffer from poor body image. All of these factors, especially when combined, can lead to erectile dysfunction.
Or, perhaps, since it's been only eight months, it might actually scare you a bit. It can be unsettling when someone falls head over heels. It can be hard to trust that kind of enthusiasm, especially if you've been burned by someone who went from hot-and-heavy to suddenly cold. Even if you're crazy about him, you might need to slow things down a little. Or maybe it's harder for you to say than it is for him — and that's why it rubs you wrong.
I think that a very powerful argument to young men who want to perform at the highest level is to point out the destructive nature of what they’re doing. If they’re having 18 drinks per week, if they’re having three, four, five drinks at any one time, they’re going to guarantee that their erections are not going to be at the highest level. I can’t tell you the number of men who come in saying, they went out, they had a date, they had a big dinner– which, by the way, is also not a great thing for erections, because all the blood is now going to your gut instead of to the genital area. And how important lifestyle changes are to improving your performance, as well, if not better, than the medications. So make certain that you exercise modestly, not excessively. Make certain that you have a smaller meal on an evening or a day that you want to have a sexual encounter, because you want the blood to go, once again, to the penile area and not to your gut. And really, the whole idea of stress– if you’re stressed out, if you’re worried about a lot of things, if you’re distracted, you can’t initiate that psychic stimulus to your spinal cord and then ultimately to your penis. So stress management is incredibly important.