Let’s admit that not “talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable” is a sure-fire recipe for total disaster. Maybe you’re exaggerating, but if he can’t deal with anything even slightly difficult, then that is a bigger problem than pillow talk. Think about how exactly it would affect everything else in your relationship. He can’t choose not to deal. When good things are happening, it’s a shame he can’t say "I love you0". But when hard things happen, he can’t just say: "Um, pass."
The cost to you for ED drug therapy varies considerably, depending on the pharmacy price, prescription co-pays, and your level of health plan coverage. Nationally, the out-of-pocket cost per pill ranges from approximately $15 to $20. Even if private insurance covers it, you may be limited to four doses per month. Here are a few things you can do to contain costs:
The appropriate evaluation of all men with erectile dysfunction should include a medical and detailed sexual history (including practices and techniques), a physical examination, a psycho-social evaluation, and basic laboratory studies. When available, a multidisciplinary approach to this evaluation may be desirable. In selected patients, further physiologic or invasive studies may be indicated. A sensitive sexual history, including expectations and motivations, should be obtained from the patient (and sexual partner whenever possible) in an interview conducted by an interested physician or another specially trained professional. A written patient questionnaire may be helpful but is not a substitute for the interview. The sexual history is needed to accurately define the patient's specific complaint and to distinguish between true erectile dysfunction, changes in sexual desire, and orgasmic or ejaculatory disturbances. The patient should be asked specifically about perceptions of his erectile dysfunction, including the nature of onset, frequency, quality, and duration of erections; the presence of nocturnal or morning erections; and his ability to achieve sexual satisfaction. Psychosocial factors related to erectile dysfunction should be probed, including specific situational circumstances, performance anxiety, the nature of sexual relationships, details of current sexual techniques, expectations, motivation for treatment, and the presence of specific discord in the patient's relationship with his sexual partner. The sexual partner's own expectations and perceptions should also be sought since they may have important bearing on diagnosis and treatment recommendations.
In other words, there are dozens of reasons he might not be getting it up, which have absolutely nothing to do with your relationship. Honestly, there's just no way for me to give you specific advice here. If it's a serious problem, you should encourage him to check in with his primary care physician first, and then, perhaps, a therapist, in the nicest way possible.
Vardenafil and tadalafil belong to the same group of chemical compounds as sildenafil, namely phos-phodiesterase type 5 (PDE-5) inhibitors. Some men cannot benefit from sildenafil or the two newer PDE-5 inhibitors because they have low levels of nitric oxide. British investigators reported in late 2002 that three different types of compounds are being studied as possible medications for men with low levels of nitric oxide. They are Rho-kinase inhibitors, soluble guanylate cyclase activators, and nitric oxide-releasing PDE-5 inhibitors.
Prostaglandins (alprostadil): Alprostadil can be injected into the penis or inserted as a pellet through the urethra. It causes an erection without sexual stimulation that usually lasts about 60 minutes. The danger with this method is that too high a dose can cause priapism, an erection that won't go away. This condition requires immediate medical attention as it can cause serious bruising, bleeding, pain and permanent penile damage. Once the doctor is sure of the right dose, the man can self-inject at home.
One thing you need to know. When you are experiencing anxiety, you get a stress response. You can read more about this here. A stress response is what you automatically feel, say, if a fight broke out near you. Your body gets ready to protect itself. During a stress response, blood is diverted away from less important areas to help your heart beat faster.
The severity of ED has been correlated with the extent of CVD. Banks et al reported that the risk of future CV events increased progressively according to ED severity.28 This was shown in both men with and without known CVD at baseline and after controlling for confounders. Solomon and colleagues found an inverse correlation between international index of erectile function (IIEF) scores and plaque burden seen on coronary angiography.29 In addition, Yaman et al demonstrated a significant correlation between ED severity on IIEF questionnaires and coronary artery calcification.30
There have been rare reports of priapism (prolonged and painful erections lasting more than six hours) with the use of PDE5 inhibitors such as sildenafil, vardenafil, and tadalafil. Patients with blood cell diseases such as sickle cell anemia, leukemia, and multiple myeloma have higher than normal risks of developing priapism. Untreated priapism can cause injury to the penis and lead to permanent impotence. Therefore, if your erection lasts four hours, you should seek emergency medical care.
Davis Liu, MD is a board certified family physician, patient advocate, physician leader, blogger, and the author of two books, including The Thrifty Patient – Vital Insider Tips for Saving Money and Staying Healthy. He’s passionate about making healthcare more convenient, personalized, and affordable. Prior to joining, Dr. Liu was a practicing primary-care doctor for fifteen years at Kaiser Permanente in Roseville, California. He also served on the Permanente Medical Group (TPMG) Board of Directors as Vice Chair of the Finance and Audit committee and the Governance committee. Dr. Liu graduated summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. He received his medical degree from the University of Connecticut School of Medicine.
Lindsay Mitchell, ARNP is a Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner and graduated with high honors from South University in Savannah, GA. She has a background in primary care, women’s health and focusing on evidence based practices. She has a strong passion for providing efficient and accessible patient care, along with caring for underserved patient populations. Prior to becoming an ARNP, she worked as a registered nurse in the emergency department in Jacksonville, Fl.
With sex therapy, your counselor looks at the sexual problems you and your partner are having. Sex therapy works with problems such as performance anxiety, which means that you worry so much about whether you will be able to have sex that you are not able to. It also helps when you have erection problems that are not due to physical or drug problems, or premature ejaculation (you come too quickly). It may help you to reach orgasm or to learn to relax enough to avoid pain during sex. Counseling can help you to adjust to the treatment you and your doctor choose.
Dr. Liou says that some men come to him after getting a prescription from their primary care doctors, claiming that the drug doesn't work. Sometimes it's because they used it incorrectly. "The biggest misconception is that these drugs are an on/off switch for erections," Dr. Liou says. But the drugs don't work well without sexual stimulation. "During that time, you need to be with your partner and have foreplay," Dr. Liou says. "Don't take it, do the taxes or the dishes, and then meet at the bedroom thinking you'll be ready to go. It's not like that."
If you can keep an erection when you’re alone, then you’re probably worried about something when you’re with your partner. Think about how you feel and then talk to your partner about your concerns. You might be putting too much pressure on yourself or not protecting yourself by using condoms and birth control. Or maybe you’ll discover that you’re really not ready for sex right now and need to wait until it feels right.
Most older men suffer not ED but erection dissatisfaction. Starting around age 50 (often earlier among smokers and/or diabetics), erections change. In some men, the process is gradual, in others, it happens more quickly. Either way, older men lose the ability to raise erections solely from sexual fantasies. Direct fondling of the penis becomes necessary. When erections appear, they rise more slowly and do not become as firm as they were during men’s thirties and forties. And minor distractions may cause wilting—the doorbell or an ambulance siren. These changes alarm many men, who jump to the conclusion that they must have ED. If you can still raise erection durings masturbation, you don’t. What you have is erection dissatisfaction.
The physical examination can reveal clues for physical causes of erectile dysfunction. A doctor will perform an assessment of BMI and waist circumference to evaluate for abdominal obesity. A genital examination is part of the evaluation of erectile dysfunction. The examination will focus on the penis and testes. The doctor will ask you about penile curvature and will examine the penis to see if there are any plaques (hard areas) palpable. The doctor will examine the testes to make sure they are in the proper location in the scrotum and are normal in size. Small testicles, lack of facial hair, and enlarged breasts (gynecomastia) can point to hormonal problems such as hypogonadism with low testosterone levels. A health care provider may check pulses in your groin and feet to determine if there is a suggestion of hardening of the arteries that could also affect the arteries to the penis.
The primary nerve fibers to the penis are from the dorsal nerve of the penis, a branch of the pudendal nerve. The cavernosal nerves are a part of the autonomic nervous system and incorporate both sympathetic and parasympathetic fibers. They travel posterolaterally along the prostate and enter the corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum to regulate blood flow during erection and detumescence. The dorsal somatic nerves are also branches of the pudendal nerves. They are primarily responsible for penile sensation. 
Your boyfriend is having a pretty normal problem but because guys are so insecure, they almost never talk about it. That silence often makes guys, especially young guys, panicky — like they’re the only ones in the world dealing with this problem. That freaks them out even more, and that anxiety feeds on itself in a fairly classic and unfortunately common pattern: When a guy has trouble getting it up, he gets so down that the impotence gets worse before it gets better. Anxiety-driven impotence can be a vicious cycle: Quite unlike his dick, the problem just grows and grows.
Many factors can contribute to sexual dysfunction in older men, including physical and psychological conditions, comorbidities and the medications used to treat them. Aspects of an ageing man’s lifestyle and behaviour and androgen deficiency, most often decreasing testosterone levels, may affect sexual function as well. A study of men between the ages of 30 and 79 years showed that 24% had testosterone levels below 300 ng/dL and 5.6% had symptomatic androgen deficiency.2
Erythrocytosis has been noted in men on TRT, and should be monitored every 6–12 months depending upon the patients’ response to changes in haematocrit levels. For mild elevations, the dosage of testosterone can be decreased or the interval of using the medication can be increased. With the haematocrit greater than 50%, decisions to temporarily discontinue the medication or periodic phlebotomy may be indicated.38
Dr Kenny du Toit is a urologist practicing in Rondebosch, Cape Town. He is also consultant at Tygerberg hospital, where he is a senior lecturer at Stellenbosch University. He is a member of the South African Urological Association, Colleges of Medicine South Africa and Société Internationale d’Urologie. Board registered with both the HPCSA (Health professions council of South Africa) and GMC (General medical council UK). He has a keen interest in oncology, kidney stones and erectile dysfunction.http://www.dutoiturology.co.za
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I have no idea why your boyfriend's junk is stuck in the junkyard. He's just 25, in the prime of his penis. It's fairly rare for a guy that young to go from instant erection to shy willy. One study found that just 2 percent of men experienced erectile dysfunction before the age of 40. If it's a short-term thing, it could be simple: Maybe he just needs to get more sleep or have fewer drinks.
#1 - ProSolution Gel, 96 points out of 100. ProSolution Gel is more than a lube - it's actually packed with natural ingredients that increase blood flow, stimulation and excitement so you get hard fast, and maintain an erection long. ProSolution Gel has been carefully formulated to help begin naturally correcting the many hormonal, nutritional, and stress-induced imbalances that may be lowering your sex drive and leaving you with disappointing erections and weak orgasms.
Remember what I said before about how it's not you? Okay, sometimes it is you. But it's not that you're not sexy — it's that for men, as well as women, relationship problems (like fighting all the time, or having clashing expectations about where things are going) can severely mess up your sex drive and ability to become aroused. Which makes sense — if you're spending 90 percent of your time together fighting about whether you're going to move in, switching gears to make 10 percent of your time together into a sexy sex party is pretty damned difficult.
#9 Smokers hell. Bad stimulants such as smoking cigarettes may be having a negative impact on more than just your lungs. That’s right, smoking may lead to a lazy penis. One study shows that 40% of men that suffer from erectile dysfunction are smokers. The good news is that 75% of men reported erectile issues disappear after quitting smoking. What better motivation to quit smoking than having amazing sex? [Read: How to keep an erection up for longer in 20 ways]
Erectile dysfunction is often assumed to be a natural concomitant of the aging process, to be tolerated along with other conditions associated with aging. This assumption may not be entirely correct. For the elderly and for others, erectile dysfunction may occur as a consequence of specific illnesses or of medical treatment for certain illnesses, resulting in fear, loss of image and self-confidence, and depression.
The history can be useful in distinguishing organic from psychogenic impotence (Table 187.1). The patient with organic impotence describes problems with erection that progress over months to years. At first, the patient will have partial erections or seemingly firm erections that become flaccid during intercourse. With time, total erectile failure ensues. Organic impotence is constant and nonselective, meaning it is not better or worse with any specific partner or any type of stimulation.
In fact, one common reason many younger men visit their doctor is to get erectile dysfunction medication. Often, men with erectile dysfunction suffer with diabetes or heart disease, or may be sedentary or obese, but they don’t realize the impact of these health conditions on sexual function. Along with erectile dysfunction treatment, the doctor may recommend managing the illness, being more physically active, or losing weight.
Ejaculatory incompetence, erectile difficulty, erectile dysfunction, erectile failure, frigidity–female Medtalk The inability to achieve or maintain a penile erection adequate for the successful completion of intercourse, terminating in ejaculation; penile erection is mediated by nitric oxide Epidemiology Prevalence of minimal, moderate, and complete impotence in the Massachusetts Male Aging Study was 52%; age is the most important factor; complete impotence ↑ from 5%–age 40 to 15%–age 70; for an erection to achieve a successful outcome, it requires
For the patient whose history suggests organic impotence, further history, physical and laboratory data will help identify the cause. The classification listed in Table 187.2 is based on the pathophysiologic scheme presented above, and includes mechanical problems that can interfere with erection. Vascular disease is the most common cause of impotence. In advanced cases, Lehriche's syndrome of aortoiliac occlusion will be suggested by bilateral thigh or calf claudication, loss of muscle mass in the buttocks and legs, and impotence. However, the majority of patients with vascular impotence have less severe vascular disease and many will have occlusive disease of the hypogastric-cavernous bed only. Even among patients without claudication, vascular disease is still a likely cause of impotence, especially if risk factors for atherosclerosis are present. Nonatherosclerotic disease is a consideration in the patient with a history of trauma or radiation to the pelvis, both of which cause fibrosis of vessels.
Patient can inject medications directly into the corpora cavernosa to help attain and maintain erections. Medications such as papaverine hydrochloride, phentolamine, and prostaglandin E1 (alprostadil) can be used alone or in combinations to attain erections. All of these medications are vasodilators and work by increasing blood flow into the penis. Prostaglandin E1 (Caverject, Edex) is easier to obtain; however, it is associated with penile pain in some individuals. The use of combinations of two or three of these medications can decrease the risk of having penile pain.
Malleable implants usually consist of paired rods, inserted surgically into each of the corpora cavernosa. The rods are stiff, and to have an erection, one bends them up and then when finished with intercourse one bends them down. They do not change in length or width. The malleable implants are the least mechanical and thus have the lowest risk of malfunction. However, also have the least "normal appearance."
In prescribing sildenafil, a doctor considers the age, general health status, and other medication(s) the patient is taking. The usual starting dose for most men is 50 mg, however, the doctor may increase or decrease the dose depending on side effects and effectiveness. The maximum recommended dose is 100 mg every 24 hours. However, many men will need 100 mg of sildenafil for optimal effectiveness, and some doctors are recommending 100 mg as the starting dose.
Among the phenomena in the ageing man are a decrease in erectile function and testosterone levels. Add to these, increased risk for CVD, muscle wasting, decrease in bone density and libido, with all of these factors having an interplay with testosterone metabolism.33 Androgens play a key role in maintaining erectile function through four main mechanisms. Androgen deprivation has been shown to result in impairment of NO synthase release, altered PDE5 expression and activity, impaired cavernosal nerve function, and contribution to veno-occlusive disease in the penis.34 The role of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) as a potential to improve erectile function in the man with ED remains an issue for patient and physicians who are comfortable treating androgen deficiency which include primary care physicians and specialists. Androgens are known to have a significant impact on the function of the smooth musculature within the corpus spongiosum.35
Nearly every primary care physician, internist and geriatrician now understand that many older men retain an interest in sexual activity as they age. Some primary care physicians think that sexual potency in older men is the norm, and that if it is lacking, it is ‘all in the head.’ This viewpoint has not been supported by current literature. The Massachusetts Male Aging Study (MMAS) found that 52% of men between 40 and 70 years old reported having some form of erectile dysfunction (ED).1 The reality is that ED is a natural part of ageing and that the prevalence increases with age. In the MMAS, they found that roughly 50% of men at 50 years old, 60% of men at 60 years old and 70% of men at 70 years old had ED. Thus, nearly all men who live long enough should develop ED. The myths that surround the problems of impotence or ED confound the attempts of patients to receive treatment and the attempts of physicians to help them.1
Additionally, the physiologic processes involving erections begin at the genetic level. Certain genes become activated at critical times to produce proteins vital to sustaining this pathway. Some researchers have focused on identifying particular genes that place men at risk for ED. At present, these studies are limited to animal models, and little success has been reported to date.  Nevertheless, this research has given rise to many new treatment targets and a better understanding of the entire process.
Geographic, Racial, Ethnic, Socioeconomic, and Cultural Variation in Erectile Dysfunction. Very little is known about variations in prevalence of erectile dysfunction across geographic, racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, and cultural groups. Anecdotal evidence points to the existence of racial, ethnic, and other cultural diversity in the perceptions and expectation levels for satisfactory sexual functioning. These differences would be expected to be reflected in these groups' reaction to erectile dysfunction, although few data on this issue appear to exist.
The Cancer of the Prostate Strategic Urologic Research Endeavor (CaPSURE) study, designed to determine whether an individual man’s sexual outcomes after most common treatments for early-stage prostate cancer could be accurately predicted on the basis of baseline characteristics and treatment plans, found that 2 years after treatment, 177 (35%) of 511 men who underwent prostatectomy reported the ability to attain functional erections suitable for intercourse. 
Penile implants: This treatment involves permanent implantation of flexible rods or similar devices into the penis. Simple versions have the disadvantage of giving the user a permanent erection. The latest (and most expensive) device consists of inflatable rods activated by a tiny pump and switch in the scrotum. Squeezing the scrotum stiffens the penis, whether the person is aroused or not. The penis itself remains flaccid, however, so the diameter and length are usually less than a natural erection, and hardness is lacking, although it's sufficient for intercourse.
If you’re no longer having intercourse, you don’t need erections. Most men assume that erections are necessary for sex. No. Couples can have great sex without them. Intercourse becomes problematic for older couples. Men have erection issues and post-menopausal women develop vaginal dryness and atrophy that can make intercourse uncomfortable (or worse) even with lubricants. Many older couples jettison intercourse in favor of mutual massage, oral sex, and sex toys—and still enjoy hot sex.