My fiancé and I have been together for four years, and while we've had our ups and downs, we're in a good place now and looking forward to our life together. Throughout our relationship, we've made some bad financial decisions. Since I'm the one with the credit cards (his credit is awful), I'm the one that's more affected. We're trying to dig ourselves out of this hole, and he does pay a good portion of the bills, but I recently found out he didn't pay even close to the amount he could have. Meanwhile, I'm basically spending my full paycheck trying to pay off my debts. When I asked about it, he said he didn't just want to "throw all of his money toward it," but that's exactly what I'm doing. Am I wrong to ask him to contribute more? He doesn't spend frivolously or anything, but I feel that we should focus on outstanding balances before trying to save money.
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"One couple came to see me, and when I asked the man how long he'd had erectile dysfunction, he told me it had been happening for five years. His wife looked at him and said: 'But this is the first I've heard of this.'" He adds that Viagra-type drugs can mask the problem, and many men still buy them online to avoid talking to their doctor about their difficulties in the bedroom. As a result, their risk of heart attack is never picked up.
Experts often treat psychologically based impotence using techniques that decrease anxiety associated with intercourse. The patient's partner can help apply the techniques, which include gradual development of intimacy and stimulation. Such techniques also can help relieve anxiety during treatment of physical impotence. If these simple behavioral methods at home are ineffective, a doctor may refer an individual to a sex counselor.
#3 You’re not having enough sex. The more sex you’re having, the less likely you are to suffer from erectile issues. The American Journal of Medicine reports that men who had sex once *or more* a week were less likely to have issues getting and maintaining an erection. So, not having sex is actually one of the reasons you can’t get hard. [Read: 13 ways to have better sex and change the way you make love]

Since you’re the talker, this is an argument that you’re going to have to win. Really let him know that you feel insecure and unloved when he doesn’t say “I love you.” Tell him it makes you worry about how he really feels when he doesn’t say anything. Tell him that it hurts you that he won’t step the slightest bit out of his comfort zone to say three words that would make you feel so much better. Let him know this doesn’t mean he has to suddenly get all lovey-dovey and give you a cheesy nickname and lay on the sugar so sweet your teeth rot, you adorable little honeybee — because then you might both puke. (I just threw up a little in my mouth myself while typing that.) But that’s not what you’re asking. Let him know you just want an “I love you” now and then. That’s not unreasonable. He doesn’t have to go overboard and you may not get the constant affirmation you prefer — but you can both compromise.

In the short term, alcohol relaxes muscles in the penis, letting blood to flow in (which is a good thing). However, alcohol also prevents other blood vessels from closing and trapping all the extra blood. Erections depend on trapping increased blood flow in the erectile tissue of the penis. If you don’t trap that extra blood, you don’t get an erection. In the long run, excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver scarring, high blood pressure, and can damage your blood vessels resulting in erectile dysfunction.
The general medical history is important in identifying specific risk factors that may account for or contribute to the patient's erectile dysfunction. These include vascular risk factors such as hypertension, diabetes, smoking, coronary artery disease, peripheral vascular disorders, pelvic trauma or surgery, and blood lipid abnormalities. Decreased sexual desire or history suggesting a hypogonadal state could indicate a primary endocrine disorder. Neurologic causes may include a history of diabetes mellitus or alcoholism with associated peripheral neuropathy. Neurologic disorders such as multiple sclerosis, spinal injury, or cerebrovascular accidents are often obvious or well defined prior to presentation. It is essential to obtain a detailed medication and illicit drug history since an estimated 25 percent of cases of erectile dysfunction may be attributable to medications for other conditions. Past medical history can reveal important causes of erectile dysfunction, including radical pelvic surgery, radiation therapy, Peyronie's disease, penile or pelvic trauma, prostatitis, priapism, or voiding dysfunction. Information regarding prior evaluation or treatment for "impotence" should be obtained. A detailed sexual history, including current sexual techniques, is important in the general history obtained. It is also important to determine if there have been previous psychiatric illnesses such as depression or neuroses.
In one study, 9.6% reported ‘occasional’ erectile dysfunction, 8.9% reported erectile dysfunction occurring ‘often’, and 18.6% reported erectile dysfunction occurring ‘all the time’. Of these, only 11.6% had received treatment.In another study, only 14.1% of men reported that they had received treatment, despite experiencing erectile dysfunction for longer than 12 months.

Picture this: you have the girl of your dreams laid out before you. You’re kissing and things are getting hot and heavy. There’s just one problem: you can’t get hard. Your thoughts quickly turn from “this is amazing” to “this is a disaster,” and before you know it, the story of your floppy dick is making its way down your lover’s social circle. That is if she’s an insensitive gossip. Either way, not being able to get a boner when the time is right is beyond embarrassing.
Taking one of these tablets will not automatically produce an erection. Sexual stimulation is needed first to cause the release of nitric oxide from your penile nerves. These medications amplify that signal, allowing some men to function normally. Oral erectile dysfunction medications are not aphrodisiacs, will not cause excitement and are not needed in men who get normal erections.

Some may use alcohol as a way to get into the mood and overcome some of the nerves associated with having sex, but too much of a good thing can actually backfire. In fact, having a long history of alcohol abuse may lead to long-term erectile dysfunction. As many as 70 percent of men with chronic erectile dysfunction also have a history of alcohol abuse.


“Cardiovascular exercise and weight resistance exercises increase a man’s testosterone, which helps ward off ED,” Gittens says. The problem is, your testosterone levels drop as you age. Your levels now as a 25-year-old will drop about 50 percent by the time you're 75, according to data from the Reviews of Urology. To keep your levels high, check out this testosterone-boosting workout.
The first step in treating the patient with ED is to take a thorough sexual, medical, and psychosocial history. Questionnaires are available to assist clinicians in obtaining important patient data. (See Presentation.) Successful treatment of sexual dysfunction has been demonstrated to improve sexual intimacy and satisfaction, improve sexual aspects of quality of life, improve overall quality of life, and relieve symptoms of depression. (See Treatment.)

Erection is a vascular event. The penis becomes rigid when blood flow to the corpora cavernosa increases sixfold and venous outflow is physiologically impeded. Penile perfusion is governed by three organ systems—the neurologic, circulatory, and endocrinologic systems—each necessary for potency. The neurologic system accounts for vasodilation and venoconstriction of the corporal blood vessels so that blood is shunted to the erectile tissues; the circulatory system provides adequate blood flow to the hypogastric-cavernous bed, a distal branch off the internal iliac vessels; and the endocrine system, mediated by testosterone, plays a permissive role through mechanisms that have yet to be elucidated.
Ejaculatory incompetence, erectile difficulty, erectile dysfunction, erectile failure, frigidity–female Medtalk The inability to achieve or maintain a penile erection adequate for the successful completion of intercourse, terminating in ejaculation; penile erection is mediated by nitric oxide Epidemiology Prevalence of minimal, moderate, and complete impotence in the Massachusetts Male Aging Study was 52%; age is the most important factor; complete impotence ↑ from 5%–age 40 to 15%–age 70; for an erection to achieve a successful outcome, it requires
Obesity and metabolic syndrome can cause changes in blood pressure, body composition, and cholesterol which may lead to ED. Other conditions that may contribute to erectile dysfunction include Parkinson’s, multiple sclerosis, Peyronie’s disease, sleep disorders, alcoholism, and drug abuse. Taking certain medications can also increase your risk for ED.

When we say it’s a barometer of men’s health, it’s a signal. It’s an indicator that things may be right or not. And so when a man develops an erectile problem– and we’re talking about something that is occurring over time. It’s not something that just occurred overnight. When it occurs overnight, it’s more often than not a psychogenic, an anxiety reaction.

For many men, stopping smoking is an erectile dysfunction remedy, particularly when ED is the result of vascular disease, which occurs when blood supply to the penis becomes restricted because of blockage or narrowing of the arteries. Smoking and even smokeless tobacco can also cause the narrowing of important blood vessels and have the same negative impact. 


Yes, the vacuum device is effective. In fact, with use of the vacuum device, 88% of men will have an erection that is satisfactory for completion of sexual activity. The vacuum device may be the only therapy that is effective after the removal of a penile prosthesis. Patients also use vacuum devices as part of penile rehabilitation after radical prostatectomy to help preserve the tissue of the penis and prevent scarring within the penis and loss of penile length. Its use, however, is limited by the mechanical nature of it and the time taken to pump the device and apply the band. Sex partners may complain of the penis being cool to touch.
Sexual dysfunction is highly prevalent in men and women. In the MMAS, 52% of the respondents reported some degree of erectile difficulty. Complete ED, defined as (1) the total inability to obtain or maintain an erection during sexual stimulation and (2) the absence of nocturnal erections, occurred in 10% of the respondents. Mild and moderate ED occurred in 17% and 25% of responders, respectively. [15]
The association of CVD and ED was noted in 1997 as one analysed the results of the MMAS. In this landmark study, 1709 men aged 40–70 years were enrolled between 1987 and 1989. A follow-up some 10 years later revealed a striking relationship between ED and CVD. In this study, it became clear that the risk factors for ED were very similar to those of CVD, such as diabetes mellitus, smoking and dyslipidaemia.18
Defined as experiencing difficulty having an erection at least 50 percent of the time, about 30 million men in the U.S. suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED), according to the National Institutes of Health. So, if odds are pretty good you’ll experience a failure to launch at some point in your life, take solace in this finding from the University of Adelaide: You can reverse ED by focusing on lifestyle factors, not just popping a blue pill.
Healthy lifestyle minimizes risk of ED. Erection depends on blood flow through the penis. Anything that impairs it increases ED risk: smoking, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, being overweight, sedentary lifestyle, more than two alcoholic drinks a day, and fewer than five daily servings of fruits and vegetables. Avoiding these risk factors does not prevent post-50 erection changes, but it preserves erection function and helps prevent ED.
Smoking damages blood vessels, inhibiting blood flow throughout the body ... and I mean throughout the body. While studies have found that men with erectile problems only make up 20 percent of the general population, 40 percent of men with erectile problems are smokers. And a 2011 study of a group of male smokers with erectile problems found that 75 percent of them saw those erectile problems disappear after they quit.
The appropriate evaluation of all men with erectile dysfunction should include a medical and detailed sexual history (including practices and techniques), a physical examination, a psycho-social evaluation, and basic laboratory studies. When available, a multidisciplinary approach to this evaluation may be desirable. In selected patients, further physiologic or invasive studies may be indicated. A sensitive sexual history, including expectations and motivations, should be obtained from the patient (and sexual partner whenever possible) in an interview conducted by an interested physician or another specially trained professional. A written patient questionnaire may be helpful but is not a substitute for the interview. The sexual history is needed to accurately define the patient's specific complaint and to distinguish between true erectile dysfunction, changes in sexual desire, and orgasmic or ejaculatory disturbances. The patient should be asked specifically about perceptions of his erectile dysfunction, including the nature of onset, frequency, quality, and duration of erections; the presence of nocturnal or morning erections; and his ability to achieve sexual satisfaction. Psychosocial factors related to erectile dysfunction should be probed, including specific situational circumstances, performance anxiety, the nature of sexual relationships, details of current sexual techniques, expectations, motivation for treatment, and the presence of specific discord in the patient's relationship with his sexual partner. The sexual partner's own expectations and perceptions should also be sought since they may have important bearing on diagnosis and treatment recommendations.
Remember what I said before about how it's not you? Okay, sometimes it is you. But it's not that you're not sexy — it's that for men, as well as women, relationship problems (like fighting all the time, or having clashing expectations about where things are going) can severely mess up your sex drive and ability to become aroused. Which makes sense — if you're spending 90 percent of your time together fighting about whether you're going to move in, switching gears to make 10 percent of your time together into a sexy sex party is pretty damned difficult.

There are also alternative treatments, such as using a penis pump or a penile injection. Penis pumps work by creating a vacuum and thereby causing more blood to flow to your penis. Penile injections need to be used shortly before intercourse. They contain a medication which widens your blood vessels. A doctor’s prescription is needed for the injections.


I’m going to share a secret with you. I understand that for men it’s a big (well, perhaps flaccid and at least momentarily small) deal when you can’t get hard. However, in most instances, women don’t give a fuck. We’re understanding creatures who (ahem) know a thing or two about not being able to get off every time. To ease the awkwardness, here are a few go-to phrases to drop when you just can’t get it up.
Cosgrove et al reported a higher rate of sexual dysfunction in veterans with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) than in veterans who did not develop this problem. [42] The domains on the International Index of Erectile Function (IIEF) questionnaire that demonstrated the most change included overall sexual satisfaction and erectile function. [43, 44] Men with PTSD should be evaluated and treated if they have sexual dysfunction.
Following a detailed discussion about the history of erectile dysfunction and its risk factors, your doctor will examine the testicles and penis to help determine the cause of erectile dysfunction. Your doctor will check reflexes and pulses in the area to see if problems with blood vessels or nerves are contributing to the erectile dysfunction. If necessary, your doctor will order tests to help diagnose erectile dysfunction.

It doesn't really matter what they are — sexual turnoffs vary wildly from person to person. But if the person you're getting it on with is doing stuff that's taking you out of the mood — even if it's stuff you feel like you're supposed to enjoy — it's time to swallow your pride and say something. Keeping it a secret might be saving you an awkward conversation in the short term, but in the long term, it could be seriously undermining your sex life. 
An alprostadil cream that patients apply into the tip of the penis (the urethral meatus, the opening that urine passes through) is currently available in the UK and Europe. It is currently under review by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). After application of the cream, an erection occurs within five to 30 minutes, and the erection lasts one to two hours in men who respond to the cream. Doctors recommend that one use the cream for a maximum frequency of two to three times per week and no more frequent than once every 24 hours. It has essentially the same contraindications and side effects as the other formulations of alprostadil. The cream may cause vaginal burning in roughly 4% of partners. Men should not use alprostadil cream for sexual intercourse with women of childbearing potential unless a condom is used. Researchers have performed controlled trial studies to evaluate the safety and effectiveness of this drug. Overall, 52% of men reported improvement in their erections compared to 20% of men receiving placebo. A later analysis demonstrated that 36% of men using the alprostadil cream had a clinically relevant improvement in vaginal penetration ability and 31% clinically relevant improvement in ability to have successful intercourse to ejaculation.
There are treatments available to help you to get and maintain an erection. In addition, making healthy changes to your lifestyle could help with impotence. Switching to a healthier balanced diet, taking more exercise and cutting down on or giving up alcohol and cigarettes could help you to see an improvement in sexual function. If you think that the problem may be related to stress or anxiety, counselling can also help.
Yeah, because in some cases, things had settled down after the guy couldn't get it up any longer and the wife might even have been relieved. Typically, at the stage of life when ED hits, many women are in menopause and have vaginal dryness and pain, which could especially be a problem after a long period of no intercourse because of the guy's ED. And so when he suddenly wants to have intercourse like a 20-year-old every day after taking Viagra, it's the last thing the wife wanted. Or as has happened in some cases, the wife thinks the erection is "fake" -- it's just "chemical" and doesn't really represent his attraction for her. Any excuse to avoid vaginal pain and dryness problems, if not just plain disinterest in sex.
Although not proven, it is likely that erectile dysfunction can be prevented by good general health, paying particular attention to body weight, exercise, and cigarette smoking. For example, heart disease and diabetes are problems that can cause erectile dysfunction, and both are preventable through lifestyle changes such as sensible eating and regular exercise. Furthermore, early diagnosis and treatment of associated conditions like diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol may prevent or delay erectile dysfunction, or stop the erectile dysfunction from getting more serious.
Many common medications for treating hypertension, depression, and high blood lipids (high cholesterol) can contribute to erectile dysfunction (see above). Treatment of hypertension is an example. There are many different types (classes) of medications for high blood pressure; these include beta-blockers, calcium channel blockers, diuretics (medications that increase urine volume), angiotensin converting enzyme inhibitors (ACE inhibitors), and angiotensin receptor blockers (ARBs). Patients may use these medications alone or in combination to control blood pressure. Some of these medications can cause troubles with erections. For example, Inderal (a beta-blocker) and hydrochlorothiazide (a diuretic) cause erectile dysfunction, while calcium channel blockers and ACE inhibitors do not seem to affect erectile function. On the other hand, other medications (such as angiotensin receptor blockers [ARB] including losartan [Cozaar] and valsartan [Diovan]) may actually help with erections. Therefore, if possible, you may benefit from changing your medications, but this requires approval by your prescribing health care provider.
Psychosocial problems are important and may cause erectile dysfunction by themselves or together with other causes of erectile dysfunction, such as diabetes and heart disease. Relationships are complicated and many factors cause tensions, which can affect sexual relations. For some men, these problems can become ongoing and it can help to talk through the issue with a skilled counsellor. It is important to know that the longer erectile dysfunction is left untreated, the greater the effect on relationships. This is another reason why early treatment of erectile dysfunction is important.
Stress is your body responding to your environment. And it’s a good thing—in limited doses. When you get stressed out your body makes chemicals like adrenaline that make you stronger, faster, fitter, and even able to think more clearly. Most people call this reaction the “fight-or-flight” response, and it’s a life-saver in dangerous situations. In a very real sense, adrenaline makes you a part-time superhero. The problems happen when your body deals with constant stress.
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