My fiancé and I have been together for four years, and while we've had our ups and downs, we're in a good place now and looking forward to our life together. Throughout our relationship, we've made some bad financial decisions. Since I'm the one with the credit cards (his credit is awful), I'm the one that's more affected. We're trying to dig ourselves out of this hole, and he does pay a good portion of the bills, but I recently found out he didn't pay even close to the amount he could have. Meanwhile, I'm basically spending my full paycheck trying to pay off my debts. When I asked about it, he said he didn't just want to "throw all of his money toward it," but that's exactly what I'm doing. Am I wrong to ask him to contribute more? He doesn't spend frivolously or anything, but I feel that we should focus on outstanding balances before trying to save money.
Erections occur in response to tactile, olfactory, and visual stimuli. The ability to achieve and maintain a full erection depends not only on the penile portion of the process but also on the status of the peripheral nerves, the integrity of the vascular supply, and biochemical events within the corpora. The autonomic nervous system is involved in erection, orgasm, and tumescence. The parasympathetic nervous system is primarily involved in sustaining and maintaining an erection, which is derived from S2-S4 nerve roots.
Anxiety is particularly pernicious. It triggers the fight-or-flight reflex that sends blood away from the central body, including the penis, and out to the limbs for self-defense or escape. Less blood in the central body means less blood available for erection. Erection dissatisfaction is upsetting, but try to accept it. It’s normal. And when men become anxious about it, erections become less likely.
Stiffy Solution: Luckily, alcohol-induced impotence (also known by the infinitely less classy alias "whiskey d*ck") is a totally temporary condition, one that should clear up as soon as your dude can once again walk a straight line and recite the alphabet backwards. If your dude has consistent erectile problems from consistently drinking too much, however, he should consider cutting down on the sauce, and possibly talking with a doctor.
A semi-firm penis if correctly handled can give a somewhat pleasant orgasm. I really don't think there is such a thing as an unpleasant orgasm though. I have have ED for two years. It has been than long since I had sex with my wife in her vagina. There has been plenty of oral sex for her. The ED drugs do not work with me. I take injectable Testosterone, and that does not make a big difference. About twice a month I am able to masturbate. Hey I am glad to know it still works. Next week I am going to see urologist number 2. The first one was a jerk and basically wrote me off because of my age. Now I have read about the Viberect device and the NEW pudendal artery (to the penis). There is hope, but in the mean time I will masturbate as often as I can.

Circulatory problems: An erection occurs when the penis fills with blood and a valve at the base of the penis traps it. Diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, clots, and atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) can all interfere with this process. Such circulatory problems are the number one cause of erectile dysfunction. Frequently, erectile dysfunction is the first noticeable symptom of cardiovascular disease.
Cause-specific assessment and treatment of male sexual dysfunction will require recognition by the public and the medical community that erectile dysfunction is a part of overall male sexual dysfunction. The multifactorial nature of erectile dysfunction, comprising both organic and psychologic aspects, may often require a multidisciplinary approach to its assessment and treatment. This consensus report addresses these issues, not only as isolated health problems but also in the context of societal and individual perceptions and expectations.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is commonly called impotence. It’s a condition in which a man can’t achieve or maintain an erection during sexual performance. Symptoms may also include reduced sexual desire or libido. Your doctor is likely to diagnose you with ED if the condition lasts for more than a few weeks or months. ED affects as many as 30 million men in the United States.
You're not hard. You're about to have sex for the first time with your date, who's truly beautiful. All you want to do is present your glorious, super strong erection and let it do the talking. And yet when you look down, you're limp instead of hard. This doesn't make any sense! you think. Every element you could possibly need for an erection is here. Nudity, beauty, passion, the tantalizing thrill of boning someone for the first time, and a little bit of booze to take the edge off. What on earth is wrong and why are you so unlucky? You turn to your date. "I swear, this never happens..."
In addition, a man affected by lower testosterone may feel less sexually inclined, less interested in viewing sexual material, and less interested in physical activities. To add to this, a man dealing with less testosterone may also become less assertive, more inclined to stay in, and more likely to seek out medical help for his erectile dysfunction.
Psychological factors on their own are estimated to be the cause of 20% of all the cases of erectile dysfunction and account for most of the difficulties in young men. They can also contribute towards its continuation in all age groups where physical causes are the main culprit, but the man’s reaction to what he sees as his “failure” has added a psychological impact.
Treatments include psychotherapy, adopting a healthy lifestyle, oral phosphodiesterase type V (PDE5) inhibitors (Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, Stendra, and Staxyn), intraurethral prostaglandin E1 (MUSE), intracavernosal injections (prostaglandin E1 [Caverject, Edex], Bimix and Trimix), vacuum devices, penile prosthesis and vascular surgery, and (in some cases) changes in medications when appropriate.
Sexual stimulation causes the release of neurotransmitters from cavernosal nerve endings and relaxation factors from endothelial cells lining the sinusoids. NOS produces NO from L-arginine, and this, in turn, produces other muscle-relaxing chemicals, such as cGMP and cyclic adenosine monophosphate (cAMP), which work via calcium channel and protein kinase mechanisms (see the image below). This results in the relaxation of smooth muscle in the arteries and arterioles that supply the erectile tissue, producing a dramatic increase in penile blood flow.
The nerves and endothelium of sinusoids and vessels in the penis produce and release transmitters and modulators that control the contractile state of corporal smooth muscles. Although the membrane receptors play an important role, downstream signaling pathways are also important. The RhoA–Rho kinase pathway is involved in the regulation of cavernosal smooth muscle contraction. [12]

Vascular damage may result from radiation therapy to the pelvis and prostate in the treatment of prostate cancer. [36] Both the blood vessels and the nerves to the penis may be affected. Radiation damage to the crura of the penis, which are highly susceptible to radiation damage, can induce ED. Data indicate that 50% of men undergoing radiation therapy lose erectile function within 5 years after completing therapy; fortunately, some respond to one of the PDE5 inhibitors.
It doesn't really matter what they are — sexual turnoffs vary wildly from person to person. But if the person you're getting it on with is doing stuff that's taking you out of the mood — even if it's stuff you feel like you're supposed to enjoy — it's time to swallow your pride and say something. Keeping it a secret might be saving you an awkward conversation in the short term, but in the long term, it could be seriously undermining your sex life. 
The inability to achieve or sustain a sufficiently firm penile erection (tumescence) to allow normal vaginal sexual intercourse. The great majority of cases are not caused by organic disease and most men experience occasional periods of impotence. It is often related to anxiety about performance and is usually readily corrected by simple counselling methods which prescribe sensual massage but forbid coitus. Organic impotence may be caused by DIABETES, MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS, spinal cord disorders and heart disease. Many cases can be helped by the drug SILDENAFIL (Viagra).
I know it’s awkward to talk about money like you’re business partners but partners is just what you are: You’re fiancés who share finances. So you need to be very clear about what this merger means. Right now, it doesn’t sound like you’re being very transparent with each other. Why were you surprised to find he was making more and contributing less than you feel he should? Do you not know how much he makes? Does he not know how much you expect him to pay back?
A common and important cause of ED is vasculogenic. Many men with ED have comorbid conditions such as hyperlipidemia, hypercholesterolemia, tobacco abuse, diabetes mellitus, or coronary artery disease (CAD). [6] The Princeton III Consensus recommends screening men who present with ED for cardiovascular risk factors; ED may be the earliest presentation of atherosclerosis and vascular disease. [7]
In fact, one common reason many younger men visit their doctor is to get erectile dysfunction medication. Often, men with erectile dysfunction suffer with diabetes or heart disease, or may be sedentary or obese, but they don’t realize the impact of these health conditions on sexual function. Along with erectile dysfunction treatment, the doctor may recommend managing the illness, being more physically active, or losing weight.

Psychological causes include depression, stress and anxiety. Men sometimes worry about getting a new sexual partner pregnant so do make sure you mention contraception. If the relationship is relatively new your partner might be nervous about ‘performing’. If they don’t manage to get an erection, this can add to the tension and pressure the next time and further compound the issue.


In men of all ages, erectile failure may diminish willingness to initiate sexual relationships because of fear of inadequate sexual performance or rejection. Because males, especially older males, are particularly sensitive to the social support of intimate relationships, withdrawal from these relationships because of such fears may have a negative effect on their overall health.


Factors that mediate contraction in the penis include noradrenaline, endothelin-1, neuropeptide Y, prostanoids, angiotensin II, and others not yet identified. Factors that mediate relaxation include acetylcholine, nitric oxide (NO), vasoactive intestinal polypeptide, pituitary adenylyl cyclase–activating peptide, calcitonin gene–related peptide, adrenomedullin, adenosine triphosphate, and adenosine prostanoids.
This is a completely legitimate and rational fear that disrupts a man’s ability to become aroused. If a man is not ready for a child and you are not on birth control, there is always a chance you could conceive. If you are new to one another, he doesn’t know for certain if you are a carrier of a disease. This is where the physiological and the psychological partner up and shut it down, to protect their dude.
ED can be caused by either physical and/or psychological factors like stress, anxiety, or depression. Importantly, ED can be the first sign of heart or other health conditions, including cardiovascular disease and diabetes. We offer the optional order of a lab test to investigate whether you might have more serious underlying health problems. Our doctors can order investigative labs in all the states we operate in apart from AZ, NY, NJ and RI. You’ll need to go to a Quest Diagnostics center to have these tests done. When we get the test results back, we can help you understand what they mean.
About six months ago, I was talking to another guy (I have a boyfriend) online, and I ended up sending him a topless pic of me. I have been with my man for almost five years, and I feel so guilty and stupid for doing it — not only because I'm dating someone, but also because it's a stupid thing to do anyway. I love my man so much, and I don't know what to do.
If you have unstable heart disease of any kind, heart failure or unstable, what we call angina, contraindication to using the medications. All right? So if you’re in an unstable medical state, these medications are not a good idea. Now, there are relative issues. If you may be taking a blood pressure medicine or a medicine for your prostate which dilates your blood vessel a little bit– you know, the typical ones are what we call the alpha blockers– you may have an additive effect from the medication. But for the most part, the medicines are incredibly safe.
As blood flows into the penis, the corpora cavernosa swell, and this swelling compresses the veins (blood vessels that drain the blood out of the penis) against the tunica albuginea. Compression of the veins prevents blood from leaving the penis. This creates a hard erection. When the amount of cGMP decreases by the action of a chemical called phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5), the muscles in the penis tighten, and the blood flow into the penis decreases. With less blood coming into the penis, the veins are not compressed, allowing blood to drain out of the penis, and the erection goes down.

Erections occur in response to tactile, olfactory, and visual stimuli. The ability to achieve and maintain a full erection depends not only on the penile portion of the process but also on the status of the peripheral nerves, the integrity of the vascular supply, and biochemical events within the corpora. The autonomic nervous system is involved in erection, orgasm, and tumescence. The parasympathetic nervous system is primarily involved in sustaining and maintaining an erection, which is derived from S2-S4 nerve roots.


Psychotherapy, marital counseling, or sex therapy may be helpful in treating cases of impotence that have psychological or emotional causes. A range of other treatments exists for cases of impotence that arise from purely physiological causes. These treatments include vacuum devices, penile injections, and penile implants. These mechanical or physically invasive approaches have largely been superseded, however, by the drug sildenafil citrate (trade name Viagra), which is taken in pill form. This drug works by enhancing the effects of nitric oxide, a chemical that, upon sexual stimulation, is normally released to widen the blood vessels supplying the penis. The increased flow of blood through those vessels into certain tissues in the penis causes an erection. See also sexual dysfunction.

3. Are there physical causes of erectile dysfunction? Erectile dysfunction may be a symptom of underlying medical conditions, which if not detected may cause further medical problems. A prior history of cigarette smoking, heart attacks, strokes, and poor circulation in the extremities (for example, intermittent claudication or cramping in your leg[s] when you walk) suggest atherosclerosis as the cause of the erectile dysfunction. Loss of sexual desire and drive, lack of sexual fantasies, gynecomastia (enlargement of breasts), and diminished facial hair suggest low testosterone levels. A prior history of pelvic surgery or radiation and trauma to the penis/pelvis/perineum can cause problems with the nerves and blood vessels. Symptoms of intermittent claudication of the lower extremities with exercise may suggest a vascular problem as a cause of the erectile dysfunction.
Erectile dysfunction can occur as a side effect of medication taken for another health condition. Common culprits are high blood pressure meds, antidepressants, some diuretics, beta-blockers, heart medication, cholesterol meds, antipsychotic drugs, hormone drugs, corticosteroids, chemotherapy, and medication for male pattern baldness, among others.
Or, perhaps, since it's been only eight months, it might actually scare you a bit. It can be unsettling when someone falls head over heels. It can be hard to trust that kind of enthusiasm, especially if you've been burned by someone who went from hot-and-heavy to suddenly cold. Even if you're crazy about him, you might need to slow things down a little. Or maybe it's harder for you to say than it is for him — and that's why it rubs you wrong.

Q. I started to suffer from erectile dysfunction? Why is this happening and what can I do to treat it? I am a healthy 52 year old. I have hypertension but i take pills to treat it and my levels are around 130/80. except that I am at great shape. In the last few months I feel that a problem in my sex life. I want to have sex but i can't due to erectile dysfunction. What can be the reason for this? and more important what can I do?
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#6 It’s performance anxiety. Many men suffer from performance anxiety, and that’s another reason you can’t get hard. Simply put, you’re too nervous to get your dick up. And that’s okay, it happens! This is likely to happen if you haven’t had sex in a while or if you’re starting up with a new partner. Sex is supposed to be fun, but worrying over your prowess between the sheets can make sex the exact opposite of what’s it’s supposed to be. [Read: 13 ways to overcome sexual anxiety and perform]
What you need to know about STDs Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are infections that are passed on from one person to another through sexual contact. There are many STDs, including chlamydia, genital warts, syphilis, and trich. This article looks at some of the most common STDs, the symptoms, and how to avoid getting or passing an STD one on. Read now
Examination of the vascular system is particularly relevant to the evaluation of the impotent patient. Absence of pulses in the feet and presence of femoral bruits suggest atherosclerosis. However, normal femoral and pedal pulses do not exclude selective obstruction to penile blood flow. Direct palpation of the dorsal artery of the penis may be informative if pulsation is absent. The presence of a pulse, however, does not rule out vascular disease, particularly in a patient who is able to achieve normal erections at rest, but unable to maintain them during thrusting. At the same time that the penile pulses are palpated, the examiner should feel for plaques in the corpora cavernosa which would indicate Peyronie's disease.
Prostaglandins (alprostadil): Alprostadil can be injected into the penis or inserted as a pellet through the urethra. It causes an erection without sexual stimulation that usually lasts about 60 minutes. The danger with this method is that too high a dose can cause priapism, an erection that won't go away. This condition requires immediate medical attention as it can cause serious bruising, bleeding, pain and permanent penile damage. Once the doctor is sure of the right dose, the man can self-inject at home.

Unfortunately, some patients may have an overly simplified understanding of the role of PDE5 inhibitors in ED management. Such patients may not expect or be willing to undergo a long evaluation and testing process to obtain a better understanding of their sexual problem, and they may be less likely to involve their partner in discussing their sexual relationship with the physician. They may expect to obtain medications through a phone call to their doctor or even over the Internet, with minimal or no physician contact at all.
Conditions that may be associated with ED include diabetes, [25, 26, 27] hypertension, [28] , and CAD, as well as neurologic disorders, endocrinopathies, benign prostatic hyperplasia, [29] , sleep apnea [30] , COPD, [31] and depression (see Table 1 below). [32, 33, 34, 35] In fact, almost any disease may affect erectile function by altering the nervous, vascular, or hormonal systems. Various diseases may produce changes in the smooth muscle tissue of the corpora cavernosa or influence the patient’s psychological mood and behavior.
I am a woman who is currently in menopause. My sex drive has increased and i believe that it can equate to a teenage boy. My s.o. has erection dissatification. He can not penetrate. He prefers oral. He will become erect and orgasm. He works very hard to please me but sometimes I want intercourse. It makes me feel like he isnt attracted to me. I have been with him for quite some time and believe he has always had this problem. I dont understand why. I understand when you say that your wife has no interest. It can be hurtful.
There are treatments available to help you to get and maintain an erection. In addition, making healthy changes to your lifestyle could help with impotence. Switching to a healthier balanced diet, taking more exercise and cutting down on or giving up alcohol and cigarettes could help you to see an improvement in sexual function. If you think that the problem may be related to stress or anxiety, counselling can also help.
The first line and by far the most common treatment today is with the prescription drug sildenafil citrate, sold under the brand name Viagra. An estimated 20 million prescriptions for the pill have been filled since it was approved by the FDA in March 1998. It is also the most effective treatment with a success rate of more than 60%. The drug boosts levels of a substance called cyclic GMP, which is responsible for widening the blood vessels of the penis. In clinical studies, Viagra produced headaches in 16% of men who took it, and other side effects included flushing, indigestion, and stuffy nose.
Thanks to over a decade of primetime television commercials, most of us can name at least one drug that treats erectile problems. However, far fewer of us can name drugs that may actually cause the problem. In reality, MedlinePlus reported that there are far more of these, and even common drugs such those to treat depression and heartburn can make it difficult to get an erection.
How soon the drugs start working ranges from 15 to 60 minutes. Neither Viagra nor Levitra will work if you take them after a meal, which blocks their absorption. However, neither Cialis nor Stendra interact with food this way. The onset time determines how soon you can engage in intercourse. Stendra and daily-use Cialis are closest to being an "on demand" erectile drug; using the others requires more planning.

Most bouts of ED can be explained away by stress, anxiety, or nervousness. If erectile dysfunction becomes frequent, don’t panic, but cover your bases by seeing a doctor to rule out scarier causes like diabetes or prostate cancer. Medications like antidepressants can also cause boner loss. Unless you can’t get it up after a date because you spent the day snorting coke and fucking your ex (in which case figure some shit out before you see other people) this line places the blame on the stress of work and away from your partner. While a woman will usually be understanding, she may fear you can’t get hard because you’re not attracted to her. Ease these anxieties with this line. Even if work was great and you’re having trouble getting it up because of other stress, like a text from an ex or family shit you’re not ready to disclose, I’ll allow a little white lie in this instance.
The 4 ED medicines we prescribe – Generic sildenafil 20 mg, Viagra (also sildenafil), Cialis (Tadalafil), or Levitra (Vardenafil) - are generally safe but shouldn’t be used as recreational drugs. They’re meant to treat a medical condition and can cause serious side effects including but not limited to an erection lasting more than four hours, sudden loss of vision in one or both eyes, and sudden decrease or loss of hearing.

I think that a very powerful argument to young men who want to perform at the highest level is to point out the destructive nature of what they’re doing. If they’re having 18 drinks per week, if they’re having three, four, five drinks at any one time, they’re going to guarantee that their erections are not going to be at the highest level. I can’t tell you the number of men who come in saying, they went out, they had a date, they had a big dinner– which, by the way, is also not a great thing for erections, because all the blood is now going to your gut instead of to the genital area. And how important lifestyle changes are to improving your performance, as well, if not better, than the medications. So make certain that you exercise modestly, not excessively. Make certain that you have a smaller meal on an evening or a day that you want to have a sexual encounter, because you want the blood to go, once again, to the penile area and not to your gut. And really, the whole idea of stress– if you’re stressed out, if you’re worried about a lot of things, if you’re distracted, you can’t initiate that psychic stimulus to your spinal cord and then ultimately to your penis. So stress management is incredibly important.
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