The key to this line is to act chill. An occasional soft dick ain’t no thang. But if you get angry, throw off the sheets, and stomp around the apartment while your partner sits in bed watching a grown man throw a temper tantrum, it becomes a thang. Throw out an apology to cover your bases, and then let it go. Once again for the guys in the back: Women understand about not always being able to get wet. And we really understand about not being able to get off every time. One in three women has trouble reaching orgasm during sex. I get that it’s not the exact same thing, but we’re empathetic. A good rule of thumb for almost all insecurities is the less of a big deal you make about something, the less others will.
Your ability to orgasm is not connected to the prostate gland, although a man who has had a radical prostatectomy will have a dry orgasm with no ejaculation. As long as you have normal skin sensation, you should be able to have an orgasm with the right sexual stimulation. This means that treating your ED will allow you to resume a normal, healthy sex life.
This process comprises a variety of physical aspects with important psychological and behavioral overtones. In analyzing the material presented and discussed at this conference, this consensus statement addresses issues of male erectile dysfunction, as implied by the term "impotence." However, it should be recognized that desire, orgasmic capability, and ejaculatory capacity may be intact even in the presence of erectile dysfunction or may be deficient to some extent and contribute to the sense of inadequate sexual function.
Sildenafil is available as oral tablets at doses of 25 mg, 50 mg, and 100 mg. Patients should take sildenafil approximately one hour before sexual activity. In some men, the onset of action of the drug may be as early as 11-20 minutes. It's best for men to take sildenafil on an empty stomach for best results since absorption and effectiveness of sildenafil can be diminished if it is taken shortly after a meal, particularly a meal that is high in fat. Sildenafil and the other PDE5 inhibitors don't cause an immediate erection. Sexual stimulation is necessary for these medications to work.

The lab testing obtained for the evaluation of erectile dysfunction may vary with the information obtained on the health history, physical examination, and recent lab testing. A testosterone level is not necessary in all men; however, a physician will order labs to determine a patient's testosterone level if other signs and symptoms of hypogonadism (low testosterone) such as decreased libido, loss of body hair, muscle loss, breast enlargement, osteoporosis, infertility, and decreased penile/testicular size are present.

Penile blood flow is measured using a Doppler probe and a 2.5 cm blood pressure cuff. Systolic pressures in the right and left corpora cavernosa are measured and the penile–brachial index is calculated taking a ratio of penile systolic pressure to brachial systolic pressure. These measures should be repeated before and after 3 minutes of exercising the pelvic and leg muscles. In normal men, the PBI should be 0.9 or greater. Ratios between 0.7 and 0.9 suggest vascular impotence; a ratio below 0.6 is diagnostic. Pelvic arteriography can be done if revascularization is considered.

There have been rare reports of priapism (prolonged and painful erections lasting more than six hours) with the use of PDE5 inhibitors such as sildenafil, vardenafil, and tadalafil. Patients with blood cell diseases such as sickle cell anemia, leukemia, and multiple myeloma have higher than normal risks of developing priapism. Untreated priapism can cause injury to the penis and lead to permanent impotence. Therefore, if your erection lasts four hours, you should seek emergency medical care.
Implantable penile prostheses are usually considered a last resort for treating impotence. They are implanted in the corpora cavernosa to make the penis rigid without the need for blood flow. The semirigid type of prosthesis consists of a pair of flexible silicone rods that can be bent up or down. This type of device has a low failure rate but, unfortunately, it causes the penis to always be erect, which can be difficult to conceal under clothing.
Psychotherapy, marital counseling, or sex therapy may be helpful in treating cases of impotence that have psychological or emotional causes. A range of other treatments exists for cases of impotence that arise from purely physiological causes. These treatments include vacuum devices, penile injections, and penile implants. These mechanical or physically invasive approaches have largely been superseded, however, by the drug sildenafil citrate (trade name Viagra), which is taken in pill form. This drug works by enhancing the effects of nitric oxide, a chemical that, upon sexual stimulation, is normally released to widen the blood vessels supplying the penis. The increased flow of blood through those vessels into certain tissues in the penis causes an erection. See also sexual dysfunction.
Effective treatment for erectile dysfunction is available, and for most men will allow the return to a fulfilling sex life. The side effects of the treatment for erectile dysfunction vary depending on the treatment that is used. Some may interrupt the spontaneity of sexual activity. For example, PDE-5 inhibitors typically need to be taken one hour before sex. Side effects may include headaches, indigestion, vasodilation, diarrhoea and blue tinge to vision. Other treatments such as penile injections may cause pain at the injection site, or an erection that will not go down. Treatment options need to be carefully discussed with your doctor to determine which one is best suited to you.
A semi-firm penis if correctly handled can give a somewhat pleasant orgasm. I really don't think there is such a thing as an unpleasant orgasm though. I have have ED for two years. It has been than long since I had sex with my wife in her vagina. There has been plenty of oral sex for her. The ED drugs do not work with me. I take injectable Testosterone, and that does not make a big difference. About twice a month I am able to masturbate. Hey I am glad to know it still works. Next week I am going to see urologist number 2. The first one was a jerk and basically wrote me off because of my age. Now I have read about the Viberect device and the NEW pudendal artery (to the penis). There is hope, but in the mean time I will masturbate as often as I can.
You should talk to your doctor about possible treatments. You may want to talk to other patients who have had the treatment planned for you. You also may want to seek a second doctor's opinion about surgery before making your decision. You may find it difficult to talk to your doctor about impotence. You will want to find a doctor who treats this condition and will help you feel comfortable talking about the problem and choosing the best treatment. You can also get more information by contacting your local National Kidney Foundation affiliate.

Measurement of the penile vibration perception threshold provides an inexpensive, reproducible, and painless screening test with acceptable sensitivity for detecting neuropathy. Abnormalities at the level of the sacral cord can be documented by sacral latency testing, while upper motor neuron impotence can be demonstrated with genital-cerebral evoked response testing. These latter procedures are not indicated in unselected patients with impotence.

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An approach to the diagnosis and management of the impotent patient is presented in Figure 187.1. Apparent and likely causes of impotence should be considered first and, if possible, eliminated before the work-up continues. For instance, observing the patient for a few weeks off offending medication may be all that is necessary to establish the cause of impotence. When no obvious or remediable cause is present, the next step is based on the clinical impression of the likelihood of organic versus psychologic impotence. If the latter is considered more likely, it is perfectly reasonable to refer the patient directly for sexual therapy, with the option of reconsidering the diagnosis if, after appropriate therapy, there is no improvement. While an occasional patient with organic impotence will be misrouted, many more with psychogenic impotence will be spared an unnecessary and costly evaluation for organic causes. When organic impotence is likely, a serum testosterone level is the initial screening test for hypogonadism and should be obtained prior to urologic referral. Patients with low testosterone levels require further endocrine evaluations as depicted in Figure 187.1.
You get to decide what is normal for you. That might include him still experiencing pleasure from you touching his penis even if he’s not hard. Some men can still orgasm without an erection. Or he may prefer not to have any touching while he is dealing with his erection problems. It is okay for you to orgasm even if he doesn’t. Reading about what might bring you pleasure, or considering how you think about sex can make this something enjoyable to explore together.
I know it’s awkward to talk about money like you’re business partners but partners is just what you are: You’re fiancés who share finances. So you need to be very clear about what this merger means. Right now, it doesn’t sound like you’re being very transparent with each other. Why were you surprised to find he was making more and contributing less than you feel he should? Do you not know how much he makes? Does he not know how much you expect him to pay back?

Impotence can have emotional causes but most often it is due to a physical problem. The physical causes of impotence include diseases (such as diabetes and hypertension), injuries (such as from prostate surgery), side-effects of drugs (such as the protease inhibitors used in HIV therapy), and disorders (such as atherosclerosis) that impair blood flow in the penis. Impotence is treatable in all age groups. Treatments include psychotherapy, vacuum devices, surgery and, most often today, drug therapy.


Constriction of the trabecular smooth muscle and helicine arteries induced by sympathetic innervation makes the penis flaccid, with blood pressure in the cavernosal sinuses of the penis near venous pressure. Acetylcholine is thought to decrease sympathetic tone. This may be important in a permissive sense for adequate trabecular smooth muscle relaxation and consequent effective action of other mediators in achieving sufficient inflow of blood into the lacunar spaces. When the trabecular smooth muscle relaxes and helicine arteries dilate in response to parasympathetic stimulation and decreased sympathetic tone, increased blood flow fills the cavernous spaces, increasing the pressure within these spaces so that the penis becomes erect. As the venules are compressed against the tunica albuginea, penile pressure approaches arterial pressure, causing rigidity. Once this state is achieved, arterial inflow is reduced to a level that matches venous outflow.
In patients with low testosterone, testosterone treatment can improve libido and erectile dysfunction, but many men still may need additional oral medications such as sildenafil, vardenafil, or tadalafil. Some studies suggest that men with ED and low testosterone may respond better to PDE5 inhibitors when given testosterone therapy; however, this is controversial.
Other medical therapies under evaluation include ROCK inhibitors and soluble guanyl cyclase activators. Melanocortin receptor agonists are a new set of medications being developed in the field of erectile dysfunction. Their action is on the nervous system rather than the vascular system. PT-141 is a nasal preparation that appears to be effective alone or in combination with PDE5 inhibitors. The main side effects include flushing and nausea. These drugs are currently not approved for commercial use.
Instant erection oils are designed to penetrate the deepest layers of the penile tissue and testicles instantaneously, and give noticeable results within 30 - 90 seconds. Because the absorption is direct to the genitals using the transdermal method, 95% of the beneficial ingredients are absorbed, compared to approximately 5 to 10% with an herbal capsule or tablet. The other benefit: it lets you be ready for anything! The last-minute nature of this product means you can use it right when you need it with nothing else to remember or take. Get an erection when you want it!
The role of the endothelium in ED has been noted for a number of years and the overlapping of ED and other conditions, especially coronary heart disease, CVD, affecting endothelial function/dysfunction, is clearly present. The endothelial cell is now known to affect vascular tone and impact the process of atherosclerosis, and impacting ED, CVD and peripheral vascular disease.16

The common PDE5 inhibitor drugs approved in the United States are sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra and Staxyn, the generic form), tadalafil (Cialis), or avanafil (Stendra). All of the currently approved PDE5 inhibitors work in the same way. They differ in the number of available doses, how quickly they work and last in your system, the dosing, and to some extent in the side effects. However, they generally share the same indications and contraindications. Currently, tadalafil is the only medication that patients can take on a daily basis and is approved for the treatment of both ED and BPH (benign enlargement of the prostate).

Watts and coworkers, in their review article, make several points about this ED/CAD nexus. Endothelial dysfunction is present in both CVD and ED, and is linked through the NO mechanism. The authors note that PDE5 inhibitors improve endothelial function and have a salutary effect on both CVD and ED. Both ED and cardiac disease respond to modifications in lifestyle as well as pharmacologic manipulation. These authors also report that the presence of ED gives the clinician an opportunity to assess CVD and prevention as well.20
The trouble is, most people don't know that sexual dysfunction can be a warning sign of something more serious. Dr Graham Jackson, a cardiologist and the chairman of the Sexual Advice Association, would like to change that. "People aren't aware of the underlying causes of their problems because they feel well otherwise," he says. "They'll say, 'It's my age' or 'I'm nervous because I'm in a new relationship.' But every man with erectile dysfunction should have their heart and blood pressure checked."

Although not indicated for routine use, nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) testing may be useful in the patient who reports a complete absence of erections (exclusive of nocturnal "sleep" erections) or when a primary psychogenic etiology is suspected. Such testing should be performed by those with expertise and knowledge of its interpretation, pitfalls, and usefulness. Various methods and devices are available for the evaluation of nocturnal penile tumescence, but their clinical usefulness is restricted by limitations of diagnostic accuracy and availability of normative data. Further study regarding standardization of NPT testing and its general applicability is indicated.


Organic impotence refers to the inability to obtain an erection firm enough for vaginal penetration, or the inability to sustain the erection until completion of intercourse. In contrast to psychogenic impotence, which is impotence caused by anxiety, guilt, depression, or conflict around various sexual issues, organic impotence, the more common of the two categories of erectile dysfunction, is caused by physical problems. Ten to 20% of middle-aged men and a much higher percentage of elderly men are impotent. Aside from its importance as a common and distressing sexual problem, organic impotence may herald important medical problems.

Men who wear tight underwear may also experience the same problems. Because of the constriction, feeling may be lost, and even if unnoticed actively, the brain will notice. This is part of the complication with erectile dysfunction between the brain and the body. While you may be in the mood, if the proper electrical signals are not sent back and forth, nothing will happen.
Thanks for your question, Frightened Turtle! To help answer it, we spoke with Dr. Darius Paduch, urologist and male sexual medicine specialist at New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center, and sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., director of The Intimacy Institute for sex and relationship therapy in Boulder, Colorado. Here's what they had to say:
It is estimated that up to 20 million American men frequently suffer from impotence and that it strikes up to half of all men between the ages of 40 and 70. Doctors used to think that most cases of impotence were psychological in origin, but they now recognize that, at least in older men, physical causes may play a primary role in 60% or more of all cases. In men over the age of 60, the leading cause is atherosclerosis, or narrowing of the arteries, which can restrict the flow of blood to the penis. Injury or disease of the connective tissue, such as Peyronie's disease, may prevent the corpora cavernosa from completely expanding. Damage to the nerves of the penis, from certain types of surgery or neurological conditions, such as Parkinson's disease or multiple sclerosis, may also cause impotence. Men with diabetes are especially at risk for impotence because of their high risk of both atherosclerosis and a nerve disease called diabetic neuropathy.
In other cases, men who habitually use alcohol or other drugs may experience similar results. Alcohol is a depressant to the central nervous system. This means that a little bit might be able to lighten the mood, but too much can basically shut down all communication between the brain and the penis. When this happens, no amount of will or stimulation will result in an erection. Other drugs can also affect the body’s ability to achieve an erection, including heroin and MDMA, otherwise known as ecstasy.
In addition, a man affected by lower testosterone may feel less sexually inclined, less interested in viewing sexual material, and less interested in physical activities. To add to this, a man dealing with less testosterone may also become less assertive, more inclined to stay in, and more likely to seek out medical help for his erectile dysfunction.

Conditions that may be associated with ED include diabetes, [25, 26, 27] hypertension, [28] , and CAD, as well as neurologic disorders, endocrinopathies, benign prostatic hyperplasia, [29] , sleep apnea [30] , COPD, [31] and depression (see Table 1 below). [32, 33, 34, 35] In fact, almost any disease may affect erectile function by altering the nervous, vascular, or hormonal systems. Various diseases may produce changes in the smooth muscle tissue of the corpora cavernosa or influence the patient’s psychological mood and behavior.


In a prospective, multicenter, single-armed study of ED patients who exhibited a suboptimal response to PDE5 inhibitors, the investigators found that percutaneous implantation of zotarolimus-eluting stents in focal atherosclerotic lesions was both safe and feasible and was associated with clinically meaningful improvement on subjective and objective measures of erectile function. [3]
Some men report being helped by an oral medication called yohimbine, which comes from the bark of a tree that grows in India and Africa. This drug, which needs to be taken every day, has been reported to help about 20 to 25 percent of the men taking it. A relatively new but widely used oral medication called Viagra requires a careful medical evaluation by your doctor.

One thing you need to know.  When you are experiencing anxiety, you get a stress response.  You can read more about this here.  A stress response is what you automatically feel, say, if a fight broke out near you.  Your body gets ready to protect itself.  During a stress response, blood is diverted away from less important areas to help your heart beat faster.


Pills such as Viagra® are the most common ED treatment, but they don’t work for everyone. Some guys find they cause bothersome headaches or persistent stomach troubles. Some have serious side effects such as chest pain and vision or hearing changes. Others don’t respond to the medication at all. And still others don’t like having to wait for the pill to take effect.
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