The Latin term impotentia coeundi describes simple inability to insert the penis into the vagina; it is now mostly replaced by more precise terms, such as erectile dysfunction (ED). The study of erectile dysfunction within medicine is covered by andrology, a sub-field within urology. Research indicates that erectile dysfunction is common, and it is suggested that approximately 40% of males with erectile dysfunction or impotence, at least occasionally.[35] The condition is also on occasion called phallic impotence.[36] Its antonym or opposite condition is priapism.[37][38]
As it turns out, there are actually tons of things that can keep guys from getting an erection that have nothing to do with you (also, all that stuff you learned in middle school about how all guys are hump-crazed sex lunatics might have been slightly off). Between 20 and 30 million American men experience recurring erection difficulties, and almost all men have, at one time or another, had their top ramen refuse to boil. And while erectile issues are often seen as an older man's problem, in reality, one quarter of men seeking medical treatment for erectile difficulties are under 40.
How’s this for a win-win: The more sex you have, the less likely you are to suffer from erectile dysfunction, according to a 2008 study published in The American Journal of Medicine. Men aged 55-75 who reported having sex less than once per week had twice the incidence of erectile dysfunction (there were 79 cases of ED per 1,000) as men who have sex once a week (32 cases of ED per 1,000). But if you really want to up your odds, shoot for three times per week (only 16 cases of ED per 1,000). Can you really argue with science, or a perscription to have more sex?
The common PDE5 inhibitor drugs approved in the United States are sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra and Staxyn, the generic form), tadalafil (Cialis), or avanafil (Stendra). All of the currently approved PDE5 inhibitors work in the same way. They differ in the number of available doses, how quickly they work and last in your system, the dosing, and to some extent in the side effects. However, they generally share the same indications and contraindications. Currently, tadalafil is the only medication that patients can take on a daily basis and is approved for the treatment of both ED and BPH (benign enlargement of the prostate).
Your question reminds me of this brilliant Louis CK bit from his special Hilarious, in which he talks about a guy who said his appetizer was amazing. "Really? You were amazed by a basket of chicken wings? What if Jesus comes down from the sky and makes love to you all night long and leaves the new living lord in your belly? What are you going to call that? You used amazing on a basket of chicken wings! You've limited yourself verbally to a shit life."
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However, men are affected psychologically when it comes to achieving erections. For instance, if a man is with a woman for the first time, or even before he feels comfortable with her, he may suffer from performance anxiety. In such a situation, his mind and body are both saying yes, but then they become out of sync. The body is then saying yes, but the mind is filled with question. “Will I be able to perform?” “How long will I last?” “Am I big enough to satisfy her?” “Is she looking at that mole on my stomach?” All kinds of questions may be going through a man’s mind upon getting in bed, and these can be distracting, they can lead to self-doubt, and therefore, failure to achieve or maintain an erection.


Despite the accumulation of a substantial body of scientific information about erectile dysfunction, large segments of the public -- as well as the health professions -- remain relatively uninformed, or -- even worse -- misinformed, about much of what is known. This lack of information, added to a pervasive reluctance of physicians to deal candidly with sexual matters, has resulted in patients being denied the benefits of treatment for their sexual concerns. Although they might wish doctors would ask them questions about their sexual lives, patients, for their part, are too often inhibited from initiating such discussions themselves. Improving both public and professional knowledge about erectile dysfunction will serve to remove those barriers and will foster more open communication and more effective treatment of this condition.
If surgical intervention is an acceptable option, the work-up then proceeds with a noctural penile tumescense (NPT) test, the single most valuable study to establish the diagnosis of organic impotence. The NPT test exploits the fact that males from birth to old age normally have erections during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Psychogenic impotence is associated with normal erections during sleep. In organic impotence there should be no evidence of erection or, if erections are present, they should be limited and poorly sustained.
Cavallini, G., Modenini, F., Vitali, G., & Koverech, A. (2005, November). Acetyl-L-carnitine plus propionyl-L-carnitine improve efficacy of sildenafil in treatment of erectile dysfunction after bilateral nerve-sparing radical retropubic prostatectomy. Urology, 66(5), 1080-5. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0090429505006515
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Stiffy Solution: Again, saying "stop being so stressed out so you can get boners again" is easier said than done — but a lot of people find sexual dysfunction to be a stronger motivator to live a healthier lifestyle than the threat of, say, a heart attack down the road; so there's a chance that this could actually be a good thing in the long run for your boo, if it helps him take his stress seriously. Relaxation techniques like yoga, exercise, meditation, tai chi, and getting adequate sleep can all lessen the impact of stress on your body (and your dong).
For many men, stopping smoking is an erectile dysfunction remedy, particularly when ED is the result of vascular disease, which occurs when blood supply to the penis becomes restricted because of blockage or narrowing of the arteries. Smoking and even smokeless tobacco can also cause the narrowing of important blood vessels and have the same negative impact. 
There are hundreds of medications that have the side effect of ED and/or decreased libido. Examples of drugs implicated as a cause of ED include hydrochlorothiazides and beta-blocking agents. Medications used to treat depression, particularly the SSRIs such as citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro), fluoxetine (Prozac, Prozac Weekly, Sarafem), fluvoxamine (Luvox, Luvox CR), paroxetine (Paxil, Paxil CR, Pexeva) and sertraline (Zoloft), may also contribute to ED.9 Bupropion (Wellbutrin) which has a predominant effect on blocking the reuptake of dopamine is an antidepressant with lower incidence of ED.10 The side effects of 5ARIs occurring in fewer than 5% of patients can include gynaecomastia, ED, loss of libido and ejaculatory dysfunction.11
The risk of impotence increases with age. It is four-fold higher in men in their 60s compared with those in their 40s according to a study published in the Journal of Urology (2000;163:460-463). Men with less education are also more likely to experience impotence, perhaps because they tend to have less healthy lifestyles, eat a less healthy diet, drink more and exercise less. Physical exercise tends to lessen the risk of impotence.
Let’s admit that not “talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable” is a sure-fire recipe for total disaster. Maybe you’re exaggerating, but if he can’t deal with anything even slightly difficult, then that is a bigger problem than pillow talk. Think about how exactly it would affect everything else in your relationship. He can’t choose not to deal. When good things are happening, it’s a shame he can’t say "I love you0". But when hard things happen, he can’t just say: "Um, pass."
Psychological factors on their own are estimated to be the cause of 20% of all the cases of erectile dysfunction and account for most of the difficulties in young men. They can also contribute towards its continuation in all age groups where physical causes are the main culprit, but the man’s reaction to what he sees as his “failure” has added a psychological impact.
Hypogonadism may be suggested by the patient's general appearance. If testosterone deficiency antedates puberty, as in Klinefelter's syndrome, eunuchoid proportions—defined as an arm span 5 cm or more in excess of height, or a sole-to-pubis length exceeding crown-to-pubis length by more than 2 cm—may be present. In postpubertal males whose testosterone levels are markedly depressed, the secondary sexual characteristics may become atrophic. Testicles less than 4 cm in length or a prostate gland that is smaller than expected may be the only clues on physical examination to a pituitary tumor with secondary hypogonadism.

It is common for a healthy older man to still want sex and be able to have sex within appropriate limitations. Understanding what is normal in older age is important to avoid frustration and concern. Older men and their partners often value being able to continue sexual activity and there is no age where the man is ‘too old’ to think about getting help with his erection or other sexual problems.

An approach to the diagnosis and management of the impotent patient is presented in Figure 187.1. Apparent and likely causes of impotence should be considered first and, if possible, eliminated before the work-up continues. For instance, observing the patient for a few weeks off offending medication may be all that is necessary to establish the cause of impotence. When no obvious or remediable cause is present, the next step is based on the clinical impression of the likelihood of organic versus psychologic impotence. If the latter is considered more likely, it is perfectly reasonable to refer the patient directly for sexual therapy, with the option of reconsidering the diagnosis if, after appropriate therapy, there is no improvement. While an occasional patient with organic impotence will be misrouted, many more with psychogenic impotence will be spared an unnecessary and costly evaluation for organic causes. When organic impotence is likely, a serum testosterone level is the initial screening test for hypogonadism and should be obtained prior to urologic referral. Patients with low testosterone levels require further endocrine evaluations as depicted in Figure 187.1.
I always made sure to satisfy my woman first, from the start of our marriage. When I started having issues with ED a few years ago, I talked to her about it and asked for her to be understanding and also that I needed a lot of the things sexually that she had not really given me much of, regardless of how much pampering or pleasing I did for her. She agreed, but never really stepped it up despite me talking to her about it every few weeks trying to salvage my own interest in sex. I had chased her constantly for over 10 years, then after the psychological effects of ED took their toll and she never really followed through helping me, my sex drive just tanked. I stopped chasing her, then after a little while she slowly started wanting it enough to initiate. Even then, she still wants the same sex as before, without the things I want being a regular part of it. My sex drive is still very low, and I still make an effort, but I can tell that my interest in sex is just deteriorating every time I have an ED episode and feel my desires being neglected. Each time, it just makes me less interested in continuing to try "serve" her because she does not return the favor much. The idea of spending so much effort doing "other stuff" while my wants and desires are barely recognized makes sex sound as exciting as mowing the yard to me now days.
Picture the scene. You get home from the bar with your date. You both decided to leave a little early, after only two drinks, because the chemistry was really there and both of you wanted to cut to the chase and get intimate. To discover each other's bodies. To eat of the fruits of passion. In short, to have sex. You stick the key in the lock, swing the door open, and invite her into your beautiful place. OK, well it might not be exactly beautiful. It might be a bit of a mess, frankly. But you don't let that ruin the moment. You turn around and passionately kiss her. How the two of you make it to your bedroom with some clothing still on is anybody's guess. You jump on the bed and hurriedly strip. God — can't this go any faster, you wonder? 
The mechanisms by which testosterone plays a role in erectile function are not completely understood. A study evaluating the effect of testosterone on erections in surgically castrated rabbits and control animals, in which the rabbits’ intracavernosal pressures were compared after cavernosal nerve stimulation, determined that castrated rabbits had much lower pressures after stimulation than control rabbits did. [21] Notably, the pressures increased when castrated rabbits received exogenous testosterone replacement.
The U.S. FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has a list of 29 OTC products that claim to treat erectile dysfunction. Patients should avoid these because many contain harmful ingredients. Other natural or herbal remedies such as DHEA, L-arginine, ginseng, and yohimbe are supplements that have been used but have not been proven safe and effective according to some researchers. Before using such compounds, individuals should consult their doctor. According to some experts, acupuncture does not effectively treat erectile dysfunction. Other home remedies for reducing ED symptoms include diet changes such as eating blueberries and citrus fruits and drinking red wine.
The rumors are true. Having too much to drink can interfere with a man’s ability to have an erection. According to Everyday Health, alcohol is a depressant. This means that, along with dampening your ability to think, speak, and move efficiently, it can also dampen mood, decrease sexual desire, and make it difficult for a man to achieve erection or reach an orgasm. This is because alcohol decreases blood flow to the penis. That not only may reduce a man’s ability to have an erection, but even if he is lucky enough to get it hard, alcohol can reduce the intensity of his orgasm.
All studies demonstrate a strong association with age, even when data are adjusted for the confounding effects of other risk factors. The independent association with aging suggests that vascular changes in the arteries and sinusoids of the corpora cavernosa, similar to those found elsewhere in the body, are contributing factors. Other risk factors associated with aging include depression, sleep apnea, and low HDL levels.
Monitoring erections that occur during sleep (nocturnal penile tumescence) can help you and your doctor to understand if the erectile dysfunction is due to psychological or physical causes. The nocturnal penile tumescence test is a study to evaluate erections at night. Normally men have three to five erections per eight hours of sleep. The test can be performed at home or in a sleep lab. The most accurate way to perform the test involves a special device that is connected to two rings. The rings are placed around the penis, one at the tip of the penis and the other at the bottom (base) of the penis. The device records how many erections occur, how long they last, and how rigid they are. The test is limited in that it does not assess the ability to penetrate.
Having erection trouble from time to time isn't necessarily a cause for concern. If erectile dysfunction is an ongoing issue, however, it can cause stress, affect your self-confidence and contribute to relationship problems. Problems getting or keeping an erection can also be a sign of an underlying health condition that needs treatment and a risk factor for heart disease.
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