What to do: Close your eyes and relax. If you're overly nervous, you may have triggered your sympathetic nervous system, the so-called "fight or flight" reaction your body has in intense situations. This can prevent you from having an erection for between five and 15 minutes. So go back to the foreplay stage. Kiss passionately. Caress. Perform oral sex. Don't rush things. Let your instinct take over. Remember; she's a person, just like you. 
Dr. Matthew Walvick, D.O. is a board certified Internal Medicine physician. He completed his undergraduate education at UCLA. He received his medical degree from Touro University College of Osteopathic Medicine in Vallejo, California. He completed his Internal Medicine residency at UCSF's Fresno Medical Education Program. Prior to joining Lemonaid Health, Dr. Walvick was a practicing primary care physician at John Muir Health and then doing house calls with the start-up Heal. Dr. Walvick is excited to be a part of the Lemonaid Health team making healthcare refreshingly simple.
In men of all ages, erectile failure may diminish willingness to initiate sexual relationships because of fear of inadequate sexual performance or rejection. Because males, especially older males, are particularly sensitive to the social support of intimate relationships, withdrawal from these relationships because of such fears may have a negative effect on their overall health.
Watts and coworkers, in their review article, make several points about this ED/CAD nexus. Endothelial dysfunction is present in both CVD and ED, and is linked through the NO mechanism. The authors note that PDE5 inhibitors improve endothelial function and have a salutary effect on both CVD and ED. Both ED and cardiac disease respond to modifications in lifestyle as well as pharmacologic manipulation. These authors also report that the presence of ED gives the clinician an opportunity to assess CVD and prevention as well.20
One study examined the role of testosterone supplementation in hypogonadal men with ED. These men were considered nonresponders to sildenafil, and their erections were monitored by assessing nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT). After these men were given testosterone transdermally for 6 months, the number of NPTs increased, as did the maximum rigidity with sildenafil. [18] This study suggests that a certain level of testosterone may be necessary for PDE5 inhibitors to function properly.
Your ability to orgasm is not connected to the prostate gland, although a man who has had a radical prostatectomy will have a dry orgasm with no ejaculation. As long as you have normal skin sensation, you should be able to have an orgasm with the right sexual stimulation. This means that treating your ED will allow you to resume a normal, healthy sex life.
Under normal circumstances, when a man is sexually stimulated, his brain sends a message down the spinal cord and into the nerves of the penis. The nerve endings in the penis release chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters, that signal the corpora cavernosa (the two spongy rods of tissue that span the length of the penis) to relax and fill with blood. As they expand, the corpora cavernosa close off other veins that would normally drain blood from the penis. As the penis becomes engorged with blood, it enlarges and stiffens, causing an erection. Problems with blood vessels, nerves, or tissues of the penis can interfere with an erection.

The availability of phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE5) inhibitors—sildenafil, vardenafil, tadalafil, and avanafil—has fundamentally altered the medical management of ED. In addition, direct-to-consumer marketing of these agents over the last 15 years has increased the general public’s awareness of ED as a medical condition with underlying causes and effective treatments.


Nerve or spinal cord damage: Damage to the spinal cord and nerves in the pelvis can cause erectile dysfunction. Nerve damage can be due to disease, trauma, or surgical procedures. Examples include injury to the spinal cord from automobile accidents, injury to the pelvic nerves from prostate surgery for cancer (prostatectomy), and some surgeries for colorectal cancer, radiation to the prostate, surgery for benign prostatic enlargement, multiple sclerosis (a neurological disease with the potential to cause widespread damage to nerves), and long-term diabetes mellitus.
It's definitely possible that your boner isn't cooperating because it's not really thrilled to be there. Maybe you're not sure about this partner, you're worried about pregnancy or STIs, you're not feeling comfortable with an unfamiliar hookup, or you typically need some other kind of stimulus to get in the mood. It's always worth checking in with yourself to see if one of these factors might be holding you back in bed, says Skyler. If you have a hunch that it's because you're doing something you don't want to do (or you're not doing something you do want to do) pay attention to that hunch.
Martha K Terris, MD, FACS is a member of the following medical societies: American Cancer Society, American College of Surgeons, American Institute of Ultrasound in Medicine, American Society of Clinical Oncology, American Urological Association, Association of Women Surgeons, New York Academy of Sciences, Society of Government Service Urologists, Society of University Urologists, Society of Urology Chairpersons and Program Directors, and Society of Women in Urology
Let’s admit that not “talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable” is a sure-fire recipe for total disaster. Maybe you’re exaggerating, but if he can’t deal with anything even slightly difficult, then that is a bigger problem than pillow talk. Think about how exactly it would affect everything else in your relationship. He can’t choose not to deal. When good things are happening, it’s a shame he can’t say "I love you0". But when hard things happen, he can’t just say: "Um, pass."
Tadalafil should not be used with alpha-blockers (except Flomax), medicines used to treat high blood pressure, and benign prostate hypertrophy (BPH) because the combination of tadalafil and an alpha-blocker may lower the blood pressure greatly and lead to dizziness and fainting. Examples of alpha-blockers include tamsulosin (Flomax), terazosin (Hytrin), doxazosin (Cardura), alfuzosin (Uroxatral), and prazosin (Minipress). Tamsulosin (Flomax) is the only alpha-blocker that patients can use safely with tadalafil. When tadalafil (20 mg) was given to healthy men taking 0.4 mg of Flomax daily, there was no significant decrease in blood pressure and so patients on this dose of tamsulosin (Flomax) can be prescribed tadalafil. The only alpha-blocker not tested with tadalafil is alfuzosin (Uroxatral), and no recommendations can be made regarding the interaction between the two.
When stimulated by the nerves, the spongy tissue arranges itself in such a way that more blood can be stored in the penis. The veins running through the outer sheath of the penis then compress which stops the blood from leaving the penis. As the blood is stopped from flowing out, the penis fills with blood and stretches within the outer casing, giving an erection.
There are no formal tests to diagnose erectile dysfunction. Some blood tests are generally done to exclude underlying disease, such as hypogonadism and prolactinoma. Impotence is also related to generally poor physical health, poor dietary habits, obesity, and most specifically cardiovascular disease such as coronary artery disease and peripheral vascular disease. Therefore, a thorough physical examination is helpful, in particular the simple search for a previously undetected groin hernia since it can affect sexual functions in men and is easily curable.[11]
In patients with low testosterone, testosterone treatment can improve libido and erectile dysfunction, but many men still may need additional oral medications such as sildenafil, vardenafil, or tadalafil. Some studies suggest that men with ED and low testosterone may respond better to PDE5 inhibitors when given testosterone therapy; however, this is controversial.
For younger men, erection problems usually go hand-in-hand with anxiety. It goes something like this. He fancies you and wants to turn you on. But he’s also worried he might not get, or keep, his erection (particularly if he really likes you and/or if this has been a problem in past relationships). These worries mean that when you try and have sex he doesn’t get hard at all, or loses his erection when he tries to penetrate you.
If you have low blood pressure, heart disease, take medicines for heart disease or for high blood pressure, you shouldn’t use our service. If you take the medicines we prescribe you'll be at greater risk of serious side effects such as severe dizziness, fainting, heart attack, and stroke. Read the package insert that comes with the medicine for a full list of side effects and warnings.
Many men gain potency by injecting drugs into the penis, causing it to become engorged with blood. Drugs such as papaverine hydrochloride, phentolamine, and alprostadil (marked as Caverject) widen blood vessels. These drugs may create unwanted side effects, however, including persistent erection (known as priapism) and scarring. Nitroglycerin, a muscle relaxant, sometimes can enhance erection when rubbed on the surface of the penis.
The term "impotence," as applied to the title of this conference, has traditionally been used to signify the inability of the male to attain and maintain erection of the penis sufficient to permit satisfactory sexual intercourse. However, this use has often led to confusing and uninterpretable results in both clinical and basic science investigations. This, together with its pejorative implications, suggests that the more precise term "erectile dysfunction" be used instead to signify an inability of the male to achieve an erect penis as part of the overall multifaceted process of male sexual function.
Remember those cultural messages we discussed earlier, about how men are wild sex aliens from the planet Weenus? Well, men are raised hearing those messages, too, and they can end up screwing with their sexual self-image —for instance, they can lead men to obsess over their own virility, and panic about impressing a new partner, until they've thought their boner into a corner and can't get an erection. Performance anxiety is one of the most common culprits behind lost erections, especially among younger, less experienced men.
The percentage of men who engage in some form of sexual activity decreases from 73% for men aged 57–64 years to 26% for men aged 75–85 years.3 For some men, this constitutes a problem, but for others it does not. The aetiology for this decline in sexual activity is multifactorial and is in part due to the fact that most of the female partners undergo menopause at 52 years of age with a significant decline in their libido and desire to engage in sexual activity. A study by Lindau and colleagues3 that examined sexuality in older Americans showed that 50% of the men in a probability sample of more than 3000 US adults reported at least one bothersome sexual problem and 33% had at least two such problems.3 This article will review the normal changes that occur with ageing, factors that influence these changes, individual variations and perspectives, and the available treatment options for ED and androgen deficiency.
3. An intact, anatomically correct penis; 25% of impotence may be psychologic or 'partner-specific', 25% has an organic component and 50% of impotence is organic in nature; in organic impotence, nocturnal penile tumescence is absent Management-surgical Microvascular surgery to bypass occluded vessels–most effective in younger ♂, penile prosthesis Management-medical Combined therapy with phentolamine and papaverine–self-injected by the Pt, wielding an erection of 1 hr's duration is useful for arterial, neurologic, psychogenic impotence; other therapies–zinc, bromocriptine–Parlodel, isoxsuprine-Vasodilan, Voxsuprine, nitroglycerine, yohimbine–Yocon, Yohimex Etiology Smoking, CAD, HTN, DM, medications–hypoglycemic agents, vasodilators, cardiac drugs, antihypertensives, anger and depression; it is inversely correlated to dehydroepiandrosterone, HDL-C, and an index of dominant personality Primary impotence Complete absence of successful sexual coupling Secondary impotence Priapism, penile plaques, Peyronie's disease; drugs linked to impotence: antihypertensives–eg, methyldopa, guanethidine, reserpine, clonidine, due to ↓ BP, antidepressants–eg, phenelzine, isocarboxazide, amitriptyline–causing altered moods and decreased libido, tranquilizers–eg, chlordiazepoxide and lorazepam, and the muscle-relaxing diazepam, cimetidine, which ↑ prolactin, and is associated with impotence and loss of libido. Cf Infertility, Orgasmic dysfunction.
Tadalafil shares the common side effects of the PDE5 inhibitors, however, due to its effect on PDE11, another phosphodiesterase located in muscle, tadalafil has been associated with muscle aches. Back pain and muscle aches occur in less than 7% of men taking tadalafil and in most patients will go away without treatment within 48 hours. When treatment was necessary, acetaminophen (Tylenol) and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen (Motrin, Advil) or naproxen (Aleve) were effective. Rarely do the muscle aches and back pain cause men to stop using tadalafil.
Frankly, I sympathize with you: He’s got a bad credit history (and likely a history of making similarly poor financial decisions) and you are anxious to pay this debt back before anything else, to the extent that you’re “basically” spending your whole paycheck on debt. Should he be paying more right now? Maybe he should pay more — but, then again, maybe it’s not all or nothing: Maybe you could compromise.
3. Are there physical causes of erectile dysfunction? Erectile dysfunction may be a symptom of underlying medical conditions, which if not detected may cause further medical problems. A prior history of cigarette smoking, heart attacks, strokes, and poor circulation in the extremities (for example, intermittent claudication or cramping in your leg[s] when you walk) suggest atherosclerosis as the cause of the erectile dysfunction. Loss of sexual desire and drive, lack of sexual fantasies, gynecomastia (enlargement of breasts), and diminished facial hair suggest low testosterone levels. A prior history of pelvic surgery or radiation and trauma to the penis/pelvis/perineum can cause problems with the nerves and blood vessels. Symptoms of intermittent claudication of the lower extremities with exercise may suggest a vascular problem as a cause of the erectile dysfunction.
Only a small proportion of cases of erectile dysfunction are caused by hormone abnormalities. The most frequent hormone abnormality is a reduced level of the male sex hormone testosterone required to get an erection which can be restored by appropriate hormone replacement. It's unwise to take testosterone preparations unless you've had tests that confirm a deficiency.
The motivation and expectations of the patient and his partner and education of both are critical in determining which therapy is chosen and in optimizing its outcome. If single therapy is ineffective, combining two or more forms of therapy may be useful. Penile prostheses should be placed only after patients have been carefully screened and informed. Vascular surgery should be undertaken only in the setting of clinical investigation and extensive clinical experience. With any form of therapy for erectile dysfunction, long-term followup by health professionals is required to assist the patient and his partner with adjustment to the therapeutic intervention. This is particularly true for intracavernosal injection and vacuum constriction therapies. Followup should include continued patient education and support in therapy, careful determination of reasons for cessation of therapy if this occurs, and provision of other options if earlier therapies are unsuccessful.
Stiffy Solution: Frustratingly enough, the only solution to exhaustion-based impotence is to get some rest, which is obviously difficult (or your dude wouldn't be having this problem in the first place). But if your guy has been resistant to getting help for his insomnia or asking for different hours at work, the inability to get his nine iron out on the putting green might be the thing that finally motivates him to make a life change. So, at least there's that.
#6 It’s performance anxiety. Many men suffer from performance anxiety, and that’s another reason you can’t get hard. Simply put, you’re too nervous to get your dick up. And that’s okay, it happens! This is likely to happen if you haven’t had sex in a while or if you’re starting up with a new partner. Sex is supposed to be fun, but worrying over your prowess between the sheets can make sex the exact opposite of what’s it’s supposed to be. [Read: 13 ways to overcome sexual anxiety and perform]
Dr Kenny du Toit is a urologist practicing in Rondebosch, Cape Town. He is also consultant at Tygerberg hospital, where he is a senior lecturer at Stellenbosch University. He is a member of the South African Urological Association, Colleges of Medicine South Africa and Société Internationale d’Urologie. Board registered with both the HPCSA (Health professions council of South Africa) and GMC (General medical council UK). He has a keen interest in oncology, kidney stones and erectile dysfunction.http://www.dutoiturology.co.za

ED may occur with or without other sexual dysfunction, including decreased libido (decreased interest in sexual activity), orgasmic dysfunction (troubles achieving an orgasm/climax), and ejaculatory dysfunction (problems with the fluid released during sex, including lack of ejaculation [anejaculation], small volume ejaculate, ejaculation that occurs too quickly [premature ejaculation], ejaculate that goes backward into the bladder [retrograde ejaculation] and pain with ejaculation).
Estimates of the prevalence of impotence depend on the definition employed for this condition. For the purposes of this consensus development conference statement, impotence is defined as male erectile dysfunction, that is, the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual performance. Erectile performance has been characterized by the degree of dysfunction, and estimates of prevalence (the number of men with the condition) vary depending on the definition of erectile dysfunction used.
You get to decide what is normal for you. That might include him still experiencing pleasure from you touching his penis even if he’s not hard. Some men can still orgasm without an erection. Or he may prefer not to have any touching while he is dealing with his erection problems. It is okay for you to orgasm even if he doesn’t. Reading about what might bring you pleasure, or considering how you think about sex can make this something enjoyable to explore together.
Injection therapy involves injecting a substance into the penis to enhance blood flow and cause an erection. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a drug called alprostadil (Caverject) for this purpose in July of 1995. Alprostadil relaxes smooth muscle tissue to enhance blood flow into the penis. It must be injected shortly before intercourse. Another, similar drug that is sometimes used is papaverine—not yet been approved by the FDA for this use. Either drug may sometimes cause painful erections or priapism (uncomfortable, prolonged erections) that must be treated with a shot of epinephrine.
Some men report being helped by an oral medication called yohimbine, which comes from the bark of a tree that grows in India and Africa. This drug, which needs to be taken every day, has been reported to help about 20 to 25 percent of the men taking it. A relatively new but widely used oral medication called Viagra requires a careful medical evaluation by your doctor.

Phosphodiesterase inhibitors: This class of medications includes sildenafil, tadalafil, and vardenafil. They work by inhibiting an enzyme called phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE-5), allowing more blood to enter the penis and helping to produce an erection. These medications are often taken before sex and will cause an erection only when the man is sexually stimulated.
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Lifestyle choices that impair blood circulation can contribute to ED. Smoking, excessive drinking, and drug abuse may damage the blood vessels and reduce blood flow to the penis. Smoking makes men with atherosclerosis particularly vulnerable to ED. Being overweight and getting too little exercise also contribute to ED.  Studies indicate that men who exercise regularly have a lower risk of ED.
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