Let’s admit that not “talking about anything that could possibly be uncomfortable” is a sure-fire recipe for total disaster. Maybe you’re exaggerating, but if he can’t deal with anything even slightly difficult, then that is a bigger problem than pillow talk. Think about how exactly it would affect everything else in your relationship. He can’t choose not to deal. When good things are happening, it’s a shame he can’t say "I love you0". But when hard things happen, he can’t just say: "Um, pass."


Impotence is the inability to get and keep an erection hard enough to have sex. Many men experience difficulties getting an erection when they are tired or stressed. This is normal and it doesn’t require treatment. However, if you encounter problems that persist, you may be suffering with a degree of impotence. Impotence is a very treatable condition and help is available either when you visit your local GP or an online doctor.

Psychological processes such as depression, anxiety, and relationship problems can impair erectile functioning by reducing erotic focus or otherwise reducing awareness of sensory experience. This may lead to inability to initiate or maintain an erection. Etiologic factors for erectile disorders may be categorized as neurogenic, vasculogenic, or psychogenic, but they most commonly appear to derive from problems in all three areas acting in concert.
Psychological factors — Psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, guilt or fear can sometimes cause sexual problems. At one time, these factors were thought to be the major cause of impotence. Doctors now know that physical factors cause impotence in most men with the problem. However, embarrassment or "performance anxiety" can make a physical problem worse.

Heart disease isn't the only risk. ED is also a predictor of stroke, because when the arteries are narrowed there is more chance of a blood clot, which can spread to the brain. It is also a common complication of diabetes. But embarrassment stops people seeking help, says Jackson. "We need to encourage men to talk to their spouses about this problem, instead of making an excuse to avoid sex.
The role of the endothelium in erectile function became clearer with the observation that the phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitor, sildenafil, enhanced erectile function. Erection occurs with the release of nitric oxide (NO) from the vascular endothelial cells.17 The reduction in endothelial cell production of NO results in the negative impact on the smooth muscles in the corporal bodies and results in less relaxation of the smooth muscle cells with decrease in blood supply and resulting ED. A similar phenomenon is well known to impact the coronary arterial system resulting in CVD.
If you have symptoms of ED, it’s important to check with your doctor before trying any treatments on your own. This is because ED can be a sign of other health problems. For instance, heart disease or high cholesterol could cause ED symptoms. With a diagnosis, your doctor could recommend a number of steps that would likely improve both your heart health and your ED. These steps include lowering your cholesterol, reducing your weight, or taking medications to unclog your blood vessels.
Psychological causes include depression, stress and anxiety. Men sometimes worry about getting a new sexual partner pregnant so do make sure you mention contraception. If the relationship is relatively new your partner might be nervous about ‘performing’. If they don’t manage to get an erection, this can add to the tension and pressure the next time and further compound the issue.

In men of all ages, erectile failure may diminish willingness to initiate sexual relationships because of fear of inadequate sexual performance or rejection. Because males, especially older males, are particularly sensitive to the social support of intimate relationships, withdrawal from these relationships because of such fears may have a negative effect on their overall health.
Achieving an erection is a complicated process, requiring transmission of sensations from the genital area to the nervous system and the return of nervous impulses to the muscles and blood vessels of the penis. Anything that interferes with this interchange, such as disease or injury of the blood vessels, muscles, or nerves, can make achieving and maintaining an erection difficult. Psychological factors, such as anxiety and depression, can also interfere with erectile function. Anxiety and depression may also develop as a consequence of impotence.
Because adequate arterial supply is critical for erection, any disorder that impairs blood flow may be implicated in the etiology of erectile failure. Most of the medical disorders associated with erectile dysfunction appear to affect the arterial system. Some disorders may interfere with the corporal veno-occlusive mechanism and result in failure to trap blood within the penis, or produce leakage such that an erection cannot be maintained or is easily lost.
Poor sleep patterns can be a contributing factor for erectile dysfunction, Mucher says. One review published in the journal Brain Research emphasized the intricate relationship between the level of sex hormones like testosterone, sexual function, and sleep, noting that testosterone levels increase with improved sleep, and lower levels are associated with sexual dysfunction. Hormone secretion is controlled by the body’s internal clock, and sleep patterns likely help the body determine when to release certain hormones. 

Quitting smoking, exercising regularly, losing excess weight, curtailing excessive alcohol consumption, controlling hypertension, and optimizing blood glucose levels in patients with diabetes are not only important for maintaining good health but also may improve or even prevent progression of erectile dysfunction. It is unclear if such lifestyle changes can reverse erectile dysfunction. However, lifestyle improvements may prevent progression of the erectile dysfunction. Some studies suggest that men who have made lifestyle improvements experience increased rates of success with oral medications.

A system for inserting a pellet of alprostadil into the urethra is marketed as MUSE. The system uses a pre-filled applicator to deliver the pellet about an inch deep into the urethra at the tip of the penis. An erection will begin within 8 to 10 minutes and may last 30 to 60 minutes. The most common side effects of the preparation are aching in the penis, testicles, and area between the penis and rectum; warmth or burning sensation in the urethra; redness of the penis due to increased blood flow; and minor urethral bleeding or spotting.


Some men report being helped by an oral medication called yohimbine, which comes from the bark of a tree that grows in India and Africa. This drug, which needs to be taken every day, has been reported to help about 20 to 25 percent of the men taking it. A relatively new but widely used oral medication called Viagra requires a careful medical evaluation by your doctor.
While impotence may be the presenting symptom of vascular disease, in neurologic disease impotence generally occurs in the setting of an obvious nervous system disorder, typically in patients known to have spinal cord pathology or neuropathy. Impotent patients should be questioned about decreased genital sensation, which would suggest diabetic, alcoholic, or other forms of neuropathy; weakness, which may accompany multiple sclerosis or spinal cord tumors; and back pain, bowel, and bladder symptoms, which raise concern for cauda equina syndrome. A careful drug history is important in the evaluation of impotence. Drugs that cause impotence (Table 187.3) generally do so by interfering with neurotransmission.
In a prospective, multicenter, single-armed study of ED patients who exhibited a suboptimal response to PDE5 inhibitors, the investigators found that percutaneous implantation of zotarolimus-eluting stents in focal atherosclerotic lesions was both safe and feasible and was associated with clinically meaningful improvement on subjective and objective measures of erectile function. [3]
If you have been having ED for more than two months, you should see a doctor to find the cause. To detect the cause of ED, your doctor will take a history of when you started to have problems with erections and sex drive, illnesses or injuries that could cause ED, and any recent physical or emotional changes in your life. You also will need to review all the medications you take. The evaluation most often includes a physical exam.

The risk of impotence increases with age. It is four-fold higher in men in their 60s compared with those in their 40s according to a study published in the Journal of Urology (2000;163:460-463). Men with less education are also more likely to experience impotence, perhaps because they tend to have less healthy lifestyles, eat a less healthy diet, drink more and exercise less. Physical exercise tends to lessen the risk of impotence.

Psychological factors on their own are estimated to be the cause of 20% of all the cases of erectile dysfunction and account for most of the difficulties in young men. They can also contribute towards its continuation in all age groups where physical causes are the main culprit, but the man’s reaction to what he sees as his “failure” has added a psychological impact.


In order to establish whether normal erections are occurring overnight (nocturnal erections), the doctor may organise nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) testing. This involves wearing a monitor overnight in your own home. The data from this monitor is then assessed to analyse how often erections occurred, how long they lasted, and how rigid and large the penis was during the erections. If NPT testing is normal, the cause of erectile dysfunction is usually psychological. If not, further testing of the blood flow in the genital area may be required to see if there is blockage or leakage. The doctor may also organise a blood test of levels of hormones such as testosterone, prolactin and thyroid stimulating hormone to see if these are contributing to the erectile dysfunction.
Sexual functioning involves a complex interaction among biologic, sociocultural, and psychological factors, and the complexity of this interaction makes it difficult to ascertain the clinical etiology of sexual dysfunction. Before any diagnosis of sexual dysfunction is made, problems that are explained by a nonsexual mental disorder or other stressors must first be addressed. Thus, in addition to the criteria for erectile disorder, the following must be considered:
There are many effective treatments for impotence. The most popular is a class of drugs called phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitors. These include sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), tadalafil (Cialis) and avanafil (STENDRA). These drugs are taken in pill form. They work in most men. But they are less effective in men with neurological causes of impotence.
Metabolism (breakdown) of vardenafil can be slowed by aging, liver disease, and concurrent use of certain medications (such as erythromycin [an antibiotic], ketoconazole [Nizoral, a medication for fungal/yeast infections], and protease inhibitors [medications used to treat AIDS]). Slowed breakdown allows vardenafil to accumulate in the body and potentially increase the risk for side effects. Therefore, in men over 65 years of age with liver disease, or who are also taking medication(s) that can slow the breakdown of vardenafil, the doctor will initiate vardenafil at low doses to avoid its accumulation. For example,

“Cardiovascular exercise and weight resistance exercises increase a man’s testosterone, which helps ward off ED,” Gittens says. The problem is, your testosterone levels drop as you age. Your levels now as a 25-year-old will drop about 50 percent by the time you're 75, according to data from the Reviews of Urology. To keep your levels high, check out this testosterone-boosting workout.
I'd recommend the second option. In any long-term relationship, there will come a time when you flirt a little too much. Technology makes those little transgressions seem much more major because there's digital proof. (I'm guessing that you would never have flashed him in the real world. Would you?) Maybe you should just learn from your experience and save your boyfriend the drama. Understand that you made a mistake, and keep your breasts to yourself.
A useful and simple way to distinguish between physiological and psychological impotence is to determine whether the patient ever has an erection. If never, the problem is likely to be physiological; if sometimes (however rarely), it could be physiological or psychological. The current diagnostic and statistical manual of mental diseases (DSM-IV) has included a listing for impotence.

All studies demonstrate a strong association with age, even when data are adjusted for the confounding effects of other risk factors. The independent association with aging suggests that vascular changes in the arteries and sinusoids of the corpora cavernosa, similar to those found elsewhere in the body, are contributing factors. Other risk factors associated with aging include depression, sleep apnea, and low HDL levels.


This is one of many types of constricting devices placed at the base of the penis to diminish venous outflow and improve the quality and duration of the erection. This is particularly useful in men who have a venous leak and are only able to obtain partial erections that they are unable to maintain. These constricting devices may be used in conjunction with oral agents, injection therapy, and vacuum devices.
If you have symptoms of ED, it’s important to check with your doctor before trying any treatments on your own. This is because ED can be a sign of other health problems. For instance, heart disease or high cholesterol could cause ED symptoms. With a diagnosis, your doctor could recommend a number of steps that would likely improve both your heart health and your ED. These steps include lowering your cholesterol, reducing your weight, or taking medications to unclog your blood vessels.
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