I know it’s awkward to talk about money like you’re business partners but partners is just what you are: You’re fiancés who share finances. So you need to be very clear about what this merger means. Right now, it doesn’t sound like you’re being very transparent with each other. Why were you surprised to find he was making more and contributing less than you feel he should? Do you not know how much he makes? Does he not know how much you expect him to pay back?
Over the past century, Western culture has become more focused on working, working out, working on this and that, and eating right that so many Americans are stressed and … quite simply … overworked. Stress is a leading cause of erectile dysfunction as it takes away focus. When a man is intent on being intimate with his wife, thoughts of deadlines, paychecks, and bills may creep into his mind. This can lead to difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection, and unfortunately, this only leads to more stress, anxiety, and depression within a marriage.
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In a randomized double-blind, parallel, placebo-controlled trial, sildenafil plus testosterone was not superior to sildenafil plus placebo in improving erectile function in men with ED and low testosterone levels. [19] The objective of the study was to determine whether the addition of testosterone to sildenafil therapy improves erectile response in men with ED and low testosterone levels.
Erections are neurovascular events, meaning that nerves and blood vessels (arteries and veins) are involved in the process of an erection and all must work properly to develop a hard erection that lasts long enough. Erection begins with sexual stimulation. Sexual stimulation can be tactile (for example, by a partner touching the penis or by masturbation) or mental (for example, by having sexual fantasies, viewing porn). Sexual stimulation or sexual arousal causes the nerves going to the penis to release a chemical, nitric oxide. Nitric oxide increases the production of another chemical, cyclic GMP (cGMP), in the muscle of the corpora cavernosa. The cGMP causes the muscles of the corpora cavernosa to relax, and this allows more blood to flow into the penis. The incoming blood fills the corpora cavernosa, making the penis expand.
Thanks for your question, Frightened Turtle! To help answer it, we spoke with Dr. Darius Paduch, urologist and male sexual medicine specialist at New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center, and sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., director of The Intimacy Institute for sex and relationship therapy in Boulder, Colorado. Here's what they had to say:
Conditions associated with reduced nerve and endothelium function (eg, aging, hypertension, smoking, hypercholesterolemia, and diabetes) alter the balance between contraction and relaxation factors (see Pathophysiology). These conditions cause circulatory and structural changes in penile tissues, resulting in arterial insufficiency and defective smooth muscle relaxation. In some patients, sexual dysfunction may be the presenting symptom of these disorders.
Impotence: A common problem among men characterized by the consistent inability to sustain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse or the inability to achieve ejaculation, or both. Impotence can vary. It can involve a total inability to achieve an erection or ejaculation, an inconsistent ability to do so, or a tendency to sustain only very brief erections.
Concerns that use of pornography can cause erectile dysfunction[14] have not been substantiated in epidemiological studies according to a 2015 literature review.[15] However, another review and case studies article maintains that use of pornography does indeed cause erectile dysfunction, and critiques the previously described literature review.[16]
In addition to Viagra, other ED drugs available in the United States include avanafil (Stendra), tadalafil (Cialis) and vardenafil (Levitra). These all improve blood supply to the penis. In combination with sexual stimulation, the drugs can produce an erection sufficient to initiate and complete intercourse. There is also a fast-dissolving form of Levitra, called Staxyn, that you put under your tongue.
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In fact, one common reason many younger men visit their doctor is to get erectile dysfunction medication. Often, men with erectile dysfunction suffer with diabetes or heart disease, or may be sedentary or obese, but they don’t realize the impact of these health conditions on sexual function. Along with erectile dysfunction treatment, the doctor may recommend managing the illness, being more physically active, or losing weight.
In order to establish whether normal erections are occurring overnight (nocturnal erections), the doctor may organise nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) testing. This involves wearing a monitor overnight in your own home. The data from this monitor is then assessed to analyse how often erections occurred, how long they lasted, and how rigid and large the penis was during the erections. If NPT testing is normal, the cause of erectile dysfunction is usually psychological. If not, further testing of the blood flow in the genital area may be required to see if there is blockage or leakage. The doctor may also organise a blood test of levels of hormones such as testosterone, prolactin and thyroid stimulating hormone to see if these are contributing to the erectile dysfunction.

ED can be caused by either physical and/or psychological factors like stress, anxiety, or depression. Importantly, ED can be the first sign of heart or other health conditions, including cardiovascular disease and diabetes. We offer the optional order of a lab test to investigate whether you might have more serious underlying health problems. Our doctors can order investigative labs in all the states we operate in apart from AZ, NY, NJ and RI. You’ll need to go to a Quest Diagnostics center to have these tests done. When we get the test results back, we can help you understand what they mean.
The most common treatment for erectile dysfunction is drugs known as phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE-5) inhibitors. These include tadalafil (Cialis), vardenafil (Levitra), and sildenafil citrate (Viagra). These are effective for about 75% of men with erectile dysfunction. They are tablets that are taken around an hour before sex, and last between 4 and 36 hours. Sexual stimulation is required before an erection will occur. The PDE-5 inhibitors cause dilation of blood vessels in the penis to allow erection to occur, and help it to stay rigid. Men using nitrate medication (e.g. GTN spray or sublingual tablets for angina) should not use PDE-5 inhibitors.
NO is produced by the enzyme NO synthase (NOS). [13] NOS plays many roles, ranging from homeostasis to immune system regulation. To date, 3 subtypes have been identified: nNOS, iNOS, and eNOS, which are produced by the genes NOS1, NOS2, and NOS3, respectively. This nomenclature is derived from the sources of the original isolates: neuronal tissue (nNOS), immunoactivated macrophage cell lines (iNOS), and vascular endothelium (eNOS). The subtypes are not, however, limited to the tissues from which they were first isolated.

Only a small proportion of cases of erectile dysfunction are caused by hormone abnormalities. The most frequent hormone abnormality is a reduced level of the male sex hormone testosterone required to get an erection which can be restored by appropriate hormone replacement. It's unwise to take testosterone preparations unless you've had tests that confirm a deficiency.

The various PDE5 inhibitors for the treatment of ED share several common side effects, including headache, flushing, nasal congestion, nausea, dyspepsia (stomach discomfort), and diarrhea. Differences exist in side effects of the different PDE5 inhibitors, and thus it is important to be familiar with the prescribing information of the PDE5 inhibitor you are prescribed.


Psychosexual counselling, or sex therapy, is an appropriate recommendation especially for men who are experiencing discord with their partner especially if the conflict is related to the man’s ED. Counselling usually consists of 5–20 sessions with counsellor. It is our recommendation that referral doctors treating men with ED make a referral to a psychotherapist or sex therapist who is certified by AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) of certified sexuality educator.43
Examination of the vascular system is particularly relevant to the evaluation of the impotent patient. Absence of pulses in the feet and presence of femoral bruits suggest atherosclerosis. However, normal femoral and pedal pulses do not exclude selective obstruction to penile blood flow. Direct palpation of the dorsal artery of the penis may be informative if pulsation is absent. The presence of a pulse, however, does not rule out vascular disease, particularly in a patient who is able to achieve normal erections at rest, but unable to maintain them during thrusting. At the same time that the penile pulses are palpated, the examiner should feel for plaques in the corpora cavernosa which would indicate Peyronie's disease.
Besides treating the underlying causes such as potassium deficiency or arsenic contamination of drinking water, the first line treatment of erectile dysfunction consists of a trial of PDE5 inhibitor (such as sildenafil). In some cases, treatment can involve prostaglandin tablets in the urethra, injections into the penis, a penile prosthesis, a penis pump or vascular reconstructive surgery.[1]

Many common medications for treating hypertension, depression, and high blood lipids (high cholesterol) can contribute to erectile dysfunction (see above). Treatment of hypertension is an example. There are many different types (classes) of medications for high blood pressure; these include beta-blockers, calcium channel blockers, diuretics (medications that increase urine volume), angiotensin converting enzyme inhibitors (ACE inhibitors), and angiotensin receptor blockers (ARBs). Patients may use these medications alone or in combination to control blood pressure. Some of these medications can cause troubles with erections. For example, Inderal (a beta-blocker) and hydrochlorothiazide (a diuretic) cause erectile dysfunction, while calcium channel blockers and ACE inhibitors do not seem to affect erectile function. On the other hand, other medications (such as angiotensin receptor blockers [ARB] including losartan [Cozaar] and valsartan [Diovan]) may actually help with erections. Therefore, if possible, you may benefit from changing your medications, but this requires approval by your prescribing health care provider.
This may be the oldest excuse in the book as a reason not to have safe sex, but research has confirmed that condoms may interfere with some men’s ability to have and hold an erection. For example, a 2006 study found that, over a three-month period, about 37 percent of men lost at least one erection when putting on a condom, or during sex with a condom, SexualHealth.com reported.

#2 Physically exhausted. If you’ve been cranking it at the gym, haven’t been sleeping well, or you’ve been working your ass off at your job, getting tangled up with your lover for even more physically demanding activities may not sound ideal. Physical exhaustion has a direct effect on your ability to get aroused. The only fix for this one is to get some rest.
The causes of erectile dysfunction include aging, high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, cigarette smoking, atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries), depression, nerve or spinal cord damage, medication side effects, alcoholism or other substance (drug) abuse, pelvic surgery including radical prostatectomy, pelvic radiation, penile/perineal/pelvic trauma such as pelvic fracture, Peyronie's disease (a disorder that causes curvature of the penis and sometimes painful erections), and low testosterone levels.
Organic Impotence. Diabetes mellitus, thyroid disease, and dysfunction of the pituitary gland or testes can cause impotence, as can certain medications. Other organic causes include arterial ischemia associated with atherosclerosis of the aorta and common iliac arteries, extensive pelvic surgery such as radical prostatectomy, spinal cord injury and other neurologic disorders, and a history of cigarette smoking. Because certain medications can cause impotence, it is recommended that in cases of recent impotence it be determined whether the patient has started on a new drug. The most common offenders are diuretics, antihypertensives, and vasodilators. Alcohol, which sometimes is ignored as a drug, is often a contributor to the problem of impotence.
Melissa Conrad Stöppler, MD, is a U.S. board-certified Anatomic Pathologist with subspecialty training in the fields of Experimental and Molecular Pathology. Dr. Stöppler's educational background includes a BA with Highest Distinction from the University of Virginia and an MD from the University of North Carolina. She completed residency training in Anatomic Pathology at Georgetown University followed by subspecialty fellowship training in molecular diagnostics and experimental pathology.
The circulatory system plays a central role in obtaining and sustaining erections. Augmentation of blood flow to the corporal bodies depends on the intravascular pressure in the penile artery. Vascular lesions—typically atherosclerotic, but occasionally fibrotic—and systemic hypotension will limit flow to the corpora. In certain patients, blood flow at rest may be sufficient to obtain an erection but not sufficient to maintain it during intercourse, when the pelvic musculature places greater demands on a compromised blood supply.
Your erection problems may be putting a strain on your relationship. You may have stopped touching and cuddling your partner, scared that it could lead to sex - and then to disappointment because you cannot get hard. You may have found it has led to regular arguments. At its worst, erection problems can lead to the breakdown of relationships. So it is vitally important to talk things over with your partner.

…have traditionally been classified as impotence (inability of a man to achieve or maintain penile erection) and frigidity (inability of a woman to achieve arousal or orgasm during sexual intercourse). Because these terms—impotence and frigidity—have developed pejorative and misleading connotations, they are no longer used as scientific classifications, having been…


ED may occur with or without other sexual dysfunction, including decreased libido (decreased interest in sexual activity), orgasmic dysfunction (troubles achieving an orgasm/climax), and ejaculatory dysfunction (problems with the fluid released during sex, including lack of ejaculation [anejaculation], small volume ejaculate, ejaculation that occurs too quickly [premature ejaculation], ejaculate that goes backward into the bladder [retrograde ejaculation] and pain with ejaculation).
Usually there will not be a specific treatment that will lead to the improvement of erectile dysfunction. However, there are treatments that will allow erections to happen and can be used to allow sexual activity to take place. There are three main types of treatments: non-invasive treatments such as tablet medicines and external devices (e.g. vacuum device); penile injections; or for men who have not had success with other treatments, surgery may be an option.

In one study, 9.6% reported ‘occasional’ erectile dysfunction, 8.9% reported erectile dysfunction occurring ‘often’, and 18.6% reported erectile dysfunction occurring ‘all the time’. Of these, only 11.6% had received treatment.In another study, only 14.1% of men reported that they had received treatment, despite experiencing erectile dysfunction for longer than 12 months.


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Having learned a great deal more about erectile dysfunction including its risk factors and causes, you should be equipped to assess your own erectile function. If you have experienced erectile issues or you have some of the risk factors mentioned above, it may be worth making a trip to your doctor’s office. If you choose to seek help, give your doctor as much information as you can about your symptoms including their frequency and severity as well as the onset. With your doctor’s help, you can determine the best course of treatment to restore sexual function.

PDE5 inhibitors, the primary second-line therapy, have been the mainstay of ED treatment since the release of sildenafil (Viagra) in 1998, with the subsequent development of many others, and still more in the development stage. These medications do improve erectile quality for the majority of men, and they work by enhancing blood flow in the corpora cavernosa. These medications are generally used on demand and need to be taken about an hour before sexual intimacy. Tadalafil (Cialis) is longer acting and does come in a daily preparation potentially eliminating the ‘on-demand’ need. The daily dosing of tadalafil, 2.5–5 mg\day, has also been approved by the FDA for treatment of symptoms of BPH.41 PDE5 inhibitors are contraindicated in men taking nitrates, but otherwise PDE5 inhibitors are very safe and effective. When PDE5 inhibitors are coadministered with nitrates, pronounced systemic vasodilation and severe hypotension are possible. Many patients with ED are elderly and have the same risk factors as patients with CAD, so these drug combinations are commonly considered or encountered in clinical practice.42
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